"We don 't believe in that [WOHM]"

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2005
"We don 't believe in that [WOHM]"
2078
Mon, 01-09-2006 - 11:31am

On Friday, as I was driving hom from work, I stumbled across an interview with the wife of the one surviving miner from the collapse in WVa. In the course of the interview, someone asked her if she worked.

Her response was that they don't believe in that. She explained that her husband was very proud of the fact that he was the sole supporter of the family, and that he didn't need her help in supporting them. She explained that they just don't believe in women working after they have kids and husbands, and that they believe her place is at home with the kids.

My heart really goes out to her, and this post isn't about her, but about the sentiment that women shouldn't work because their place is at home. And being a real man, even if it means working in dangerous conditions, long hours, holding two jobs and being a step away from poverty at every turn, means that your wife doesn't work.

I suppose this is the first time that I've heard someone, not a movie character or a character in a book, express this sentiment. I don't understand why anyone would be proud to limit their spouse's potential. Or why be proud that you live right on the poverty line?

If they didn't see the dangers of their POV before, surely that entire community, and even the whole country, has now seen the risk that we talk about on here all the time, the risk that suddenly the SAHM will need to find a way to financially support the family. I wonder if anyone will re-think what they believe in.

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998

Yes, I believe it has.


However, I would like to know how you define a sahm, especially since I know your definition and one other persons's on this board includes working at a paid job.

PumpkinAngel

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
That is a very good question and a mentality I have never understood. I mean, when I picked out my kids' daycare providers, I had total control over the type of care (nanny vs home vs center), the person providing the majority of the care, even some control over the kids my children would be associating with and the attitudes and values of the families involved. I had some choice over the kids' kindergarten settings -- private vs neighborhood school vs magnet school, and I met each principal to gauge his or her educational philosophy and attitudes toward learning and stuff, and I even met most of the possible teachers my kid would have, but I had no control over exactly who would be interacting with my kid the way I did with daycare. In fact, I was less satisfied with the kindergarten settings than I was with the daycare settings. School was a less healthy place for my kids than daycare.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Why do you bother?

<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /> 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Not all WOHMs are in MM's boat.

<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /> 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998

So then the dh who is not home is not raising the child?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2005
On the contrary, neither Texas where your profile claims you live nor North Carolina where ahlmommy claims provides an exception for "only one child. there is no lower limit, hence, 1 child is most certainly a "home daycare."

Karen


"We are told that in , "cattle and sheep outnumber people by the millions." Which is why we're here, I suspect, given that cattle and sheep don't post spoilers on the internet, or if they do, they all just say things like, "Moo moo moo, moo! MMM! Moooo, moo. MMMMM, moo


Miss Alli @ TelevisionWithoutPity, The Amazing Race Finale

Karen

"Veronica: "I hate fake deer too. Every time I see their stupid fake-deer faces I want to grab a shotgun and go all Cheney on 'em." Sure, but since fake deer don't talk, they won't

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2005
I just get irritated with people who jump in when they have not ready all of the threads, then think she can jump in and bash me for the way the I raise MY child. It'd be an endless argument, no need to continue it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2005
It's not good, mentally, for a child, to give them everything they want. They grow up feeling the world revolves around them. That is my opinion, obviously, yours is different.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998

You don't have a home daycare anymore?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2005
I think I did say that. I know my son will lie to me at times about where he will be, I'm not naive. I lied to my parents a few times about where I would be. If my son is anything like me (lord, help us all) he will, too. I only hope I am able to talk to him and let him know the mistakes I made as a teenager, and hope he learns from them. My parents were goodie-two-shoes, not many stories to tell. I don't know how well telling my son about my teenage years (when he get older) will go ver, but only time (and experience) will tell.

Pages