Since we have a bunch of "newbies"

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Since we have a bunch of "newbies"
28
Thu, 08-05-2010 - 2:11pm

perhaps we can readdress some of the "old" debates that actually apply to sah/woh issues.

1) What went into your decision to be a sah or woh parent (and everything in between)?

2) What circumstances would have to change for you to change your sah or woh status?

3) Do you plan on paying for some or most or none of your children's post HS educations?

4) How would feel about a person who was a sahp and on food stamps, WIC, rent subsidies...., but wouldn't need them if they woh? Can you think of circumstances where that would be the best choice for that family?

5) How has your position changed? or has it? Are you a sah who thought s/he would be a woh or a woh who thought s/he would be a sah?

6) How many sahds are there at your child's school? In your neighborhood?

That should start something (I hope).

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2010
Thu, 08-05-2010 - 2:41pm

Damn iV.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2009
Thu, 08-05-2010 - 2:54pm

1) What went into your decision to be a sah or woh parent (and everything in between)?


Well, I was an older ft mom(38), with a responsible and flexible position, a long

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2010
Thu, 08-05-2010 - 3:14pm

1) What went into your decision to be a sah or woh parent (and everything in between)?


We were both already well established in our fields when we met & married; didn't see any reason to change that once the babies started coming.


2) What circumstances would have to change for you to change your sah or woh status?


We'd have to suddenly come into millions and millions of dollars! We aren't just working for now, we're working for our future.


If we did suddenly hit the lottery or something, I would still do something other than stay home. I'd go back to school, or at least take some interesting courses. I'd do more volunteering than I currently have time for (which is almost nada at the moment), and we'd probably start a

Kevali


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2010
Thu, 08-05-2010 - 3:17pm

1) What went into your decision to be a sah or woh parent (and everything in between)?
Finances (wohm for almost 12 years and ft working women before that for 7 years)

2) What circumstances would have to change for you to change your sah or woh status?
Finances

3) Do you plan on paying for some or most or none of your children's post HS educations?
Some

4) How would feel about a person who was a sahp and on food stamps, WIC, rent subsidies...., but wouldn't need them if they woh? Can you think of circumstances where that would be the best choice for that family?
It would all depend on the circumstances.

5) How has your position changed? or has it? Are you a sah who thought s/he would be a woh or a woh who thought s/he would be a sah?
Wohm for almost 12 years, was a ft working woman 7 years before that.

6) How many sahds are there at your child's school? In your neighborhood?
I really have no clue in the schools our kids go to. Many dads in my neighborhood are with the police dept and are home during the day and do not work a 40 hour week.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
Thu, 08-05-2010 - 3:55pm

Ooh yay questions!!


First, so all know from which perspective I'm answering, for those who don't know me yet/read my intro...

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Thu, 08-05-2010 - 4:29pm

1) What went into your decision to be a sah or woh parent (and everything in between)?


DH and i talked about me being a stay at home mom before we married.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2006
Thu, 08-05-2010 - 5:03pm

1) What went into your decision to be a sah or woh parent (and everything in between)?


It was mostly a financial decision, although at the time I wasn't looking really hard to make sah work because I didn't think it really fit my personality.

2010 Siggy
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Thu, 08-05-2010 - 6:00pm

1) What went into your decision to be a sah or woh parent (and everything in between)?

2) What circumstances would have to change for you to change your sah or woh status?

In the past, it was Erica. Now, it's the grandchildren, so in a sense, it's Erica again. I went to on-call status at the bridal shop so I could be more available to do dc for the grandchildren. But I still wah ft.

3) Do you plan on paying for some or most or none of your children's post HS educations? Only to help with books, etc. at the local community college. We are in no position to anything else.

4) How would feel about a person who was a sahp and on food stamps, WIC, rent subsidies...., but wouldn't need them if they woh? Can you think of circumstances where that would be the best choice for that family? If I had know about WIC (or it was available) when Erica was born, I would have signed up for it. Since Erica was the reason I sah then, yes, I can think of reason why a family would need a sahp. Besides, I don't get to decide that for another family. That is between them and WIC.

5) How has your position changed? or has it? Are you a sah who thought s/he would be a woh or a woh who thought s/he would be a sah? I always thought I would be a woh. Erica changed all that. because of her, I found out that I like wah as well as woh.

6) How many sahds are there at your child's school? In your neighborhood? Have no idea. But then I have no idea how many sahms there are either.

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2009
Thu, 08-05-2010 - 6:05pm

) What went into your decision to be a sah or woh parent (and everything in between)?

I was in the Air Force when I got pregnant. I left on a pregnancy discharge. I did not at that time plan on being a long term SAHM. I just did not want the added stress of being a dual military family with a child (there are many people who handle it wonderfully). As it turned out I ended up being at home for 12.5 years. In part because when we added a second and then a third child childcare became fairly cost prohibitive on the salary I could earn. I returned to work when my DD was in first grade and was able to work around school schedules to avoid the cost of childcare.

2) What circumstances would have to change for you to change your sah or woh status?

At this point winning the lottery.

3) Do you plan on paying for some or most or none of your children's post HS educations?

BTDT and am still doing it. Two DDs have graduated college and one is a senior in college. Basically we paid for the difference between what our children received in their financial package and the actual cost. DD1 and DD2 qualified for government backed student loans and work study, DD3 qualified for government student loan. We paid the difference plus their books and some of their living expenses while in college.

4) How would feel about a person who was a sahp and on food stamps, WIC, rent subsidies...., but wouldn't need them if they woh? Can you think of circumstances where that would be the best choice for that family?

As long as someone is not committing fraud I see no problem with it. Those things are based on family income. There is nothing in the rules that states how many incomes a family must have. A circumstance where it may be the best choice for a family is a special needs child that has issues that would prevent the parent from keeping employment or where it would be hard to find childcare to handle the child's needs.

5) How has your position changed? or has it? Are you a sah who thought s/he would be a woh or a woh who thought s/he would be a sah?

no

6) How many sahds are there at your child's school? In your neighborhood?

School N/A. Neighborhood none that I know. We have lived here 12 years and the neighborhood has aged alone with us. At this point we have a lot of empty nesters and few kids below the teenage years.

I do not know any actual SAHDs but do know two families where the wives work full time during the week and the husbands work part time on the weekends so during the week the fathers do take on the SAHD role.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-1999
Thu, 08-05-2010 - 6:24pm

I'll bite....


I'm not a newbie, but and oldbie who recently came back but mostly lurks.


1) What went into your decision to be a sah or woh parent (and everything in between)?

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