Since we have a bunch of "newbies"

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Since we have a bunch of "newbies"
28
Thu, 08-05-2010 - 2:11pm

perhaps we can readdress some of the "old" debates that actually apply to sah/woh issues.

1) What went into your decision to be a sah or woh parent (and everything in between)?

2) What circumstances would have to change for you to change your sah or woh status?

3) Do you plan on paying for some or most or none of your children's post HS educations?

4) How would feel about a person who was a sahp and on food stamps, WIC, rent subsidies...., but wouldn't need them if they woh? Can you think of circumstances where that would be the best choice for that family?

5) How has your position changed? or has it? Are you a sah who thought s/he would be a woh or a woh who thought s/he would be a sah?

6) How many sahds are there at your child's school? In your neighborhood?

That should start something (I hope).

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-04-2009
Fri, 08-27-2010 - 8:07am

I have no issue with that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2000
Thu, 08-26-2010 - 9:22pm

Just for fun, let's mix up your answers a little. Say a family has a SAHP because their special needs child requires it, but they must receive WIC or food stamps or some other assistance in order to SAH. Would either of your answers change under these circumstances?


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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-04-2009
Thu, 08-26-2010 - 7:27pm

"1) What went into your decision to be a sah or woh parent (and everything in between)?"


I am a working mom because that is that gives my family the best life I can give them.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2009
Sun, 08-15-2010 - 10:46pm

1) What went into your decision to be a sah or woh parent (and everything in between)?


A desire to stay home, however, it was also a financial decision and over the years, one that changed

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2004
Fri, 08-13-2010 - 9:59pm

1) What went into your decision to be a sah or woh parent (and everything in between)?


I just recently changed my work status.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2009
Fri, 08-13-2010 - 8:29pm

1) What went into your decision to be a sah or woh parent (and everything in between)?


I just knew I would WOH, my 2 months maternity leave only proved that SAH was not for me.


2) What circumstances would have to change for you to change your sah or woh status?


I can't think of anything that would make me SAH.


3) Do you plan on paying for some or most or none of your children's post HS educations?


Once they qualify, DH and I will assist our children with their first degrees.


4) How would feel about a person who was a sahp and on food stamps, WIC, rent subsidies...., but wouldn't need them if they woh? Can you think of circumstances where that would be the best choice for that family?


If it works for them and they are getting by, not my business. There are many circumstances, health circumstances are clear.


5) How has your position changed? or has it? Are you a sah who thought s/he would be a woh or a woh who thought s/he would be a sah?


No change.


6) How many sahds are there at your child's school? In your neighborhood?


I don't know of any.

Lee

Lee

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2004
Mon, 08-09-2010 - 10:56pm

1) What went into your decision to be a sah or woh parent (and everything in between)?

Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 08-08-2010 - 10:47pm

1) What went into your decision to be a sah or woh parent (and everything in between)?

Initially, we chose to have a sahp to avoid using group/othercare for an infant. In addition, I knew that my previous career wasn't going to work once we had a child, so it made sense for me to be the one to sah for the first year, then find a more family-friendly job. DH and I were also older parents who really wanted to enjoy the experience, and we thought having a sahp would give us both more time with the baby. Although I had planned to sah only for the first year, by then we were trying to have a second child and wanted to give her the same experience as our first. We found many advantages in having me at home, so 1 year quickly turned into 6.

When I went back to work, it was also for multiple reasons. My dh had been laid off from his old job and started a new company, and I wanted to support him in continuing with that venture. I also realized that I wanted to stay in my field and that I was fast approaching the point where that would no longer be possible. The kids were older (6 and 4), so group care was no longer an issue for us. It seemed like the right time to go back to work.

2) What circumstances would have to change for you to change your sah or woh status?

See above for the reasons I went back to work. At present, I can't think of much that would cause me to want or need to sah again. The kids are in school all day, and I've been in a flexible, pt job that I really like for 7+ years. I would like to be working ft in another year or two.

3) Do you plan on paying for some or most or none of your children's post HS educations?

We plan on paying for all of their undergraduate education if they go in-state. If they go to private school, we'll pay as much as we can, but they may need to help, depending on the cost. We don't plan to pay for graduate school, but if they go in-state, they can put the extra money we saved toward graduate school.

4) How would feel about a person who was a sahp and on food stamps, WIC, rent subsidies...., but wouldn't need them if they woh? Can you think of circumstances where that would be the best choice for that family?

I can certainly think of circumstances where that would be the best choice, for example--crummy dc choices, a parent furthering her education, a child with special needs.

5) How has your position changed? or has it? Are you a sah who thought s/he would be a woh or a woh who thought s/he would be a sah?

I would never have guessed that I would sah for 6 years. I never planned to sah beyond the first year or so.

6) How many sahds are there at your child's school? In your neighborhood? My dd2's school is very small (200 kids) and socioeconomically diverse, so not many sahds (I can think of only 1 off the top of my head). At dd1's school, I have no idea, but I wouldn't think there would be many. IME, sah parents generally go back to work, at least pt, by the time the kids are all in school.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2008
Fri, 08-06-2010 - 7:32pm
I completely understand
ds
Avatar for turtleemom
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-25-2007
Fri, 08-06-2010 - 12:54pm
I am willing to discuss this but only in a public forum.

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