were YOU a REBEL ;)

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
were YOU a REBEL ;)
168
Mon, 12-15-2008 - 3:58pm

so i promised to back off the duggar debate but the feedback really does have me wondering.

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Mon, 12-15-2008 - 9:44pm

I can't really say that I rebelled. Back in jr. high (I think. It could have been 6th grade), I remember that I spent the afternoon in my room because I didn't want to change out of my school clothes into jeans. We had to wear dresses; no pants for girls. But other than that, my parents advised more than laid down the law when I was a teen. I had a sahm. In raising the girls, we followed a similar path as my parents. Erica claims to this day, that as a teen, she had nothing to rebel against. I was a wohp when the girls were teens.

But in general some rebellion on the part of teen against their parents is a good thing. It's all a part of discovering who they are apart from their parents. How beneficial the rebellion is is in part determined by how the parents handle the teen years. Work status has little to do with it.

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 12-15-2008 - 10:09pm
So would you say the millenials' ambitions are channeled differently?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2005
Mon, 12-15-2008 - 10:19pm

I think an authoritarian parenting style (one that is characterized by high levels of demand and control, and by low levels of responsiveness or communication) has been shown to foster a greater incidence of rebellion once the children leave the nest.

Likewise, a permissive parenting style (characterized by very low control and a general caving to the child's whims) also has a detrimental effect on youngsters. They develop a sense of entitlement and are not prepared for the inherent restrictions of the world.

In both scenarios, the child is much less likely to internalize any messages of self-discipline. And I don't think being a SAHM or a WOHM has anything to do with parenting style. One could just as easily have an overbearing parent or a tuned-out parent either way.

ETA: I'm not downplaying the role of temperament. Temperament is very genetically based. But nurture interacts with nature to encourage or inhibit our biological predispositions.

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Edited 12/15/2008 10:24 pm ET by finally.me




iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Mon, 12-15-2008 - 11:15pm

It's interesting, but gender seems to still play a strong role even in the age group we are talking about.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 12-16-2008 - 3:30am
Yep, I have a nephew and a couple of nieces who have been brought up in a classic authoritarian household. The level of control is extreme. In their case it has mostly resulted in a complete lack of decision-making ability on the part of the kids and a total lack of initiative of any kind. So, these kids are not rebelling, but when they do finally do something, it is often without discipline and without an inherent sense of right/wrong. If one of them does end up rebelling, it could get ugly IMO, exactly because they lack internal controls.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 12-16-2008 - 9:04am
Yes, why did you rebel?


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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Tue, 12-16-2008 - 9:21am
FWIW - I'm the firstborn and I am
Poppies Sig
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 12-16-2008 - 10:47am

Nope, well at least for the first 18 years of my life I wasn't....then I switched and still am in a lot of ways.


I think parents can be a factor, I don't think they are always a factor though.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 12-16-2008 - 10:50am

Not in my house, it's the youngest who is the rule follower, lol.


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2007
Tue, 12-16-2008 - 10:53am
That's b/c he's rebelling.

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Ducky

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