What about eating issues?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
What about eating issues?
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Fri, 06-10-2005 - 2:24pm

We have debated sleeping issues to death once again....so what about another one of the issues of childhood....eating and/or not eating?


My kids eat just about anything and have a pretty well rounded diet.

PumpkinAngel

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Wed, 06-22-2005 - 10:41am
You've given me no reason to believe that you understand Joey's temperament or are making any effort to deal with what you describe as his whiny, demanding, and manipulative personality. I don't have an opinion on how many clothes you have or should have. I simply do not care, which is why I stayed out of that thread -- and the one on Virgo's eating. It makes no difference in the world to me. As to whether you are "too materialistic" or not, I don't know, and don't really care. The only time it bothers me, personally, is when you get snippy with other people who don't share your quirks.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Wed, 06-22-2005 - 10:42am

<<You've given me no reason to believe that you understand Joey's temperament or are making any effort to deal with what you describe as his whiny, demanding, and manipulative personality.>>


Why should she? What are you to her or Joey?



Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2003
Wed, 06-22-2005 - 10:44am

Bailey is very smart, unbelievable smart, and he clearly understands, "YOu cannot take the bag of cheerios onto the carpet," or "Get out of the pool now," or "Come lay down," or "You need to leave your shoes on." And he does trust me, and his father, and his grandmother.

Nine times out of ten, he refuses anyway. Just about every single thing he does, even small stuff, takes struggle. He just does not like to be told what to do, and he fights it. He fights everything. That is just part of who he is.

For you to claim that nine times out of ten, kids just don't understand what they are told to do, or trust the person telling them, might be truwe of your kids. Might also be true of one of my three. But that doesn't mean that other kids out there simply behave differently, and it isn't because we are bad parents.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Wed, 06-22-2005 - 10:48am
Felicia has said on several occasions that she is quite satisfied with about 15 hours a week with her kids, and limited time on the weekends. She doesn't shop with them, she doesn't go to church with them, she doesn't exercise with them, and she prefers not to socialize with them. That is not "not knowing the first thing" about her circumstances. I didn't say that Joey's whiny, demanding, and manipulative personality is due to the quality of his maternal interactions. I said if I had a kid who was consistently that way, I'd want to find out why, and that when my kids were small, spending more time, rather than less time, actually WITH them, tended to fix the problem -- which is why I limited the time when they were in othercare -- it made a difference to them. It may not be an issue with Felicia's kids. But just to say "that's just the way he is" without trying to find ways to make the family interactions more positive strikes me as odd. Felicia has been rather snotty about those of us who have sought help when we run into situations just like this, by the way. But if I had a kid who was consistently demanding, manipulative, and whiny, to the extent that I sought ways to avoid being with said kid, I'd be dialing 1-800-Family Therapy pretty quickly.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Wed, 06-22-2005 - 10:50am

Yep.


When Callahan had his first offical Parent/teacher conference last fall,

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Wed, 06-22-2005 - 10:50am
No, my kids didn't. I've explained a number of times that older DS was quite happy with my erratic work schedule, but it was hard on DS #2, who seemed to need more predictability. I switched to a more regular schedule, even though it involved more actual hours per week with him in othercare, and he was a happier camper.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2003
Wed, 06-22-2005 - 10:51am
And how do you know that she hasn't tried to figure out the best ways to address ehr child's temperment? Perhaps that same very strict schedule that she is often derired for keeping is what helps with Joey. I know that those psuedo quacks like Dr. Phil tend to think that structure and schedule are good things. And I've been advised that with Bailey, consistentcy, structure,a nd diengaging from the struggle are what *should* help. But when Felicia does those same things, she is heavily criticized for that as well.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Wed, 06-22-2005 - 10:55am

<<She doesn't shop with them, she doesn't go to church with them, she doesn't exercise with them, and she prefers not to socialize with them.>>


And that equates to not enjoying them? Because those are the only activities that would indicate enjoyment of one's children. Riiiiiiiiiiiiight.


<>


But you don't know that she hasn't tried ways. That's a biased assumption on your part. And it also implies that they have no positive family interactions, which is a biased assumption as well.


<<But if I had a kid who was consistently demanding, manipulative, and whiny, to the extent that I sought ways to avoid being with said kid,>>


Again, interpretation and bias. I don't think she avoids being with said kid, but instead avoids being with said kid in situations that aren't a good fit with his natural temperament. If the kid is a pita in the grocery store, don't take the kid to the grocery store. That isn't avoiding the kid; that is avoiding puttin the kid in a situation that causes him to be a pita. HUGE difference.



Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 06-22-2005 - 10:57am

I have been to a parenting coach and the biggest thing she said to do was to disengage with Zak. It is infinitily hard. If he does not do his homework, shrug it off and go on with life. Tell him he has to face the consquences. Beforehand, I was making him stay at the kitchen table until it was done. One night, he stayed until 10:00 when I finally sent him to bed. Making an ultimatum out of something with him is like waving a red flag in front of a bull. The game is on and the battle of wills has started.


Some friends have expressed disbelief at that story. He really stayed until 10? Did you make him sit there the next night too? No, because he would still be there.


A famous story about his father is his grandfather made him sit at the kitchen table until he apologized for something. Devin did not think he should. He sat there for three days. Zak gets it honestly.


"I do not want to be a princess! I want to be myself"

Mallory (age 3)

      &nbs

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Wed, 06-22-2005 - 11:02am
The activities that I mentioned are activites that Felicia regularly participates in without her kids --which means that many weekends, she is getting limited time with the kids because she runs errands, goes to church solo, and socializes without them. If she did all these things and her kids were happy, no problem. But since she does all these things, and Joey is unhappy, well, the logical thing when you want to fix something that's wrong is to try something different. And you're right. In real life, Felicia may be doing all kinds of things that aren't reflected here. But that leads me to wonder why she tells us so much about what's going wrong and hardly anything about what's going right. It's her choice, of course, but then hardly sporting to call "foul" when members of the board assume that what she tells us reflects the reality of her life.

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