What to do?????
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| Thu, 05-08-2003 - 2:23am |
I am accepeted to go to law school in three months. I have wanted to go now for years and put it off due to the fact that I am 36 and did not want to risk being motherless.
Well, my husband is not crazy about the idea at all. And I can understand because it is very exspensive. I would attend part time and it is 18,000 per year plus books.
I am a SAHM right now and my son will be 8.5 month by the time I would go. Yes, we are both freaked out about the loans of school, I mean really, am I crazy?
I said a couple of weeks ago, yea this is crazy...too much money ,I change my mind. However, the school needs an answer and a deposit by this Friday. EEK, I am kind of nervous, do I give it up after all I went through. This is my last deferment they have given me two. I am really nervous, will I regret this. If I go, it will cause severe financial strain on out marriage. My husband is NUTS over money.
What am I to do, end my marriage over this? I would really like to go but...
I really don't have any family support over this issue, so that makes it tough.
My husband said three years ago, well we have to have a family sometime, and I agreed so that is why I put this off. And he said ..you can go later. I know my husband, that will never happen..how could it when it is too much money, and I am not going to move to a closer, cheaper school. I will also have to secure a part time job too while I attend school.
Staying at home is good, but I do feel out of sorts quite often. I use to have so much motivation, drive, goals, now...what is wrong with me.
Well, I am so confused.
Should I just forget about it after I said I changed my mind? Or, just say, well this is me, I gotta do it? Why do I feel so guilty, wrong, upset, confused, scared? This issue has also caused a lot of stress between me and my husband - because he knows I wanted this. Now we fight about it.
Any advice?
Thanks
Christine
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You live once, do it right the first time.
Linda
Â
Linda - wife, mother, grandmum                     &nb
Lauren
Susan
Been hashed out for three years now, over and over and over again!
He does not want me to go for many reasons....
The loans that we must pay back
What about our son..the time
He can not see me being a "hard" attorney
Um what else..
The list is on and on....
I love my son and want to be a good mother -which I already am!
This is my last deferment....and it is very competitive to get into law school
Thanks for all the advice
As for your husband...I don't know what to tell you. My husband is more than supportive of anything that I want to do. If he wasn't...without VERY good reason, I would probably start rethinking who I chose to marry and have children with. I just cannot even comprehend either my spouse or me not supporting each other in something we want, had planned, or whatever. :(
Edited 5/8/2003 4:55:47 PM ET by okmrsmommy
Look, you are a married adult with a child. Your life is just not all about you and your dreams anymore. What have you been up to during the preceeding 16 years, during which time you could have been persuing your dreams on your own effort and dime? "But Its My Dream" does not compute anymore. 16 yrs ago, 15 yrs ago, 14yrs ago...sure. Even 3yrs ago...2yrs ago...before you were a parent, maybe. But now. Sorry, no go.
You are looking at a $150,000 committment here. And that doesn't take in to account the cost of lost investment/mortgage paydown, or the cost of loan repayment. Heres how I count it. $60,000 for 3 yrs of law school (more if its 4 yrs). Plus, you must have been a somewhat focused career gal previous to becoming a Mom. You are about goals and challenge or something? Ok, so you have some fairly aggressive history to support that, and to support the idea that you'll actually make it as a lawyer. So you were making a good salary in your previous life, lets say, $60,000/yr. Lets just say that represents $30,000 take home. Now you are a sahm. Obviously that $30,000 isn't required. Let say it costs you $10,000 to work. I'm being real conservative here, in estimating yoru take home value. Its probably should be much higher than $20,000/yr. But lets give it $20,000. So if you were serious about law school, given you didn't really need that income, you should have been able to actually SAVE a good percentage of the cost of your education in the past 3 yrs. Or the past 16 for that matter. Apparently you didn't. Why in the world not.
Oh yes, law school is $60,000, plus the $30,000/yr take home income which you will ditch to go. Over 3 yrs, thats $150,000. THATS alot. Thats largely after tax. That pracitcally represenets a 6 figure salary, three years running. THAT will take alot of time and effort to recoup post law school. You aren't going to be making that up the day you walk out of law school. I can see why your husband isn't into this. I suppose HIS dream is to have some financial security in his life. That too, is a valid dream.
You can't just say "husband its my dream". You are saying "husband, this is my dream, fork over the $150,000 so I may persue it, please, I don't care what sacrifice you need to make." Not good. Not good at all. You have 16 years of not doing what you apparently want to do so much to explain away, along with the fact that you haven't saved anything towards this goal which is apparently so important to you.
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