What do SAHMs do all day?

Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
What do SAHMs do all day?
788
Mon, 10-14-2013 - 3:59pm

It was a question such as this that prompted  the male author to write the following article in the Huffington post.  He is tired of working moms of putting down his wife because she is SAH: 

Look, I don't cast aspersions on women who work outside of the home. I understand that many of them are forced into it because they are single mothers, or because one income simply isn't enough to meet the financial needs of their family. Or they just choose to work because that's what they want to do. Fine. I also understand that most "professional" women aren't rude, pompous and smug, like the two I met recently.

But I don't want to sing Kumbaya right now. I want to kick our backwards, materialistic society in the shins and say, "GET YOUR FREAKING HEAD ON STRAIGHT, SOCIETY."

This conversation shouldn't be necessary. I shouldn't need to explain why it's insane for anyone -- particularly other women -- to have such contempt and hostility for "stay at home" mothers. Are we really so shallow? Are we really so confused? Are we really the first culture in the history of mankind to fail to grasp the glory and seriousness of motherhood? The pagans deified Maternity and turned it into a goddess. We've gone the other direction; we treat it like a disease or an obstacle.

Read more: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/matt-walsh/youre-a-stay-at-home-mom-_b_4086126.html?utm_hp_ref=mostpopular
I also found the last couple of paragraphs interesting, he was talking about how it doesn't matter who is busier and why we try to keep score.
Any thoughts on the article?

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Avatar for jamblessedthree
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Tue, 10-15-2013 - 5:48am
Good for him! I have a feeling my kids' generation will be the first to see SAHM as not the norm, Let's just hope if they chose to marry and have babies and chose to stay at home they won't get ripped apart for it either. SAH is a privlege for a lot of moms (and dads I might add) and I don't know one that has ever regretted that choice. That husband raises a really good point.

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Tue, 10-15-2013 - 6:16am
I'm glad his wife is able so stay home since it seems so very important to them. I am always a little skeptical of these articles coming from men. I mean, if full- time with the kids is so all-fired important, seems like they'd be doing more of it.
Avatar for jamblessedthree
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Tue, 10-15-2013 - 6:50am
What are you skeptical of bord.. A husband sticking up for his wife?

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Tue, 10-15-2013 - 7:53am
Skeptical of the idea that these men really think SAHP is the really important role they claim that it is. Most of them aren't doing much of it as far as I can tell.
Avatar for jamblessedthree
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Tue, 10-15-2013 - 8:27am
Oh, Ok. It's the traditional family you knock then. Most parents that SAH are still wives, I agree.

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Tue, 10-15-2013 - 8:36am

jamblessedthree wrote:
Oh, Ok. It's the traditional family you knock then. Most parents that SAH are still wives, I agree.

No, it is not the "traditional family" that I knock.  It is the self-righteous, slightly-hypocritical self-appointed spokesperson for the traditional family who sets my teeth slightly on edge.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 10-15-2013 - 8:59am

Interesting stereotypes from the husband and I'm guessing he doesn't realize that he doesn't paint himself in a very favorable light in his words?  It doesn't sound any better from the male perspective, lol.  Does he not realize that he is also raising his children, even though he *gasps* works outside the home?  

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 10-15-2013 - 9:00am

jamblessedthree wrote:
Good for him! I have a feeling my kids' generation will be the first to see SAHM as not the norm, Let's just hope if they chose to marry and have babies and chose to stay at home they won't get ripped apart for it either. SAH is a privlege for a lot of moms (and dads I might add) and I don't know one that has ever regretted that choice. That husband raises a really good point.

Ah yes, it's much more acceptable to you to read (and applaud) someone ripping apart a working mother.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 10-15-2013 - 9:04am

bordwithyou wrote:
I'm glad his wife is able so stay home since it seems so very important to them. I am always a little skeptical of these articles coming from men. I mean, if full- time with the kids is so all-fired important, seems like they'd be doing more of it.

I wonder, how old their kids are and if they have decided to continue to keep them home full-time (raising their kids!!) when they reach the *magic* age of 5 years old or will they send them to traditional school...

PumpkinAngel

Avatar for savcal2011
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2010
Tue, 10-15-2013 - 9:37am
Ehh, sounds like he's got a (big) chip on his shoulder. His opening scenarios indicate to me that he's reading a lot more into those women's words. I think he's quite possibly assuming bitterness or malice from those women when indeed there is none. Sounds like they're trying to make small talk, and he's turning that into meaningful judgments about his wife. Whatever. I do, however, agree with his last sentiment that keeping track of who is busier or more important is bunk. However, isn't that just what he's doing himself in the rest of his own article?

"I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1

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