What do SAHMs do all day?

Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
What do SAHMs do all day?
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Mon, 10-14-2013 - 3:59pm

It was a question such as this that prompted  the male author to write the following article in the Huffington post.  He is tired of working moms of putting down his wife because she is SAH: 

Look, I don't cast aspersions on women who work outside of the home. I understand that many of them are forced into it because they are single mothers, or because one income simply isn't enough to meet the financial needs of their family. Or they just choose to work because that's what they want to do. Fine. I also understand that most "professional" women aren't rude, pompous and smug, like the two I met recently.

But I don't want to sing Kumbaya right now. I want to kick our backwards, materialistic society in the shins and say, "GET YOUR FREAKING HEAD ON STRAIGHT, SOCIETY."

This conversation shouldn't be necessary. I shouldn't need to explain why it's insane for anyone -- particularly other women -- to have such contempt and hostility for "stay at home" mothers. Are we really so shallow? Are we really so confused? Are we really the first culture in the history of mankind to fail to grasp the glory and seriousness of motherhood? The pagans deified Maternity and turned it into a goddess. We've gone the other direction; we treat it like a disease or an obstacle.

Read more: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/matt-walsh/youre-a-stay-at-home-mom-_b_4086126.html?utm_hp_ref=mostpopular
I also found the last couple of paragraphs interesting, he was talking about how it doesn't matter who is busier and why we try to keep score.
Any thoughts on the article?

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Avatar for rollmops2009
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Registered: 02-24-2009
Wed, 10-16-2013 - 6:48am

My dad came from a very middle class family, and it was quite important to his parents to keep up certain appearances, like a nice vila in a "nice" area, owning horses and some other oddities. The kids went to private school as well as university.

My mom came from a family that had been modestly upper class for many generations. They kept a certain standard, but didn't really worry themselves about what kind of standard other people did or did not keep. They rode horses, but didn't own any. 

Point being that the keeping up business has more to do with class environment, I think, than with era. You get strivers in every era.

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Registered: 09-01-2002
Wed, 10-16-2013 - 7:13am

bordwithyou wrote:
If you all have cell phones you are hardly making do with one telephone. We have no landline and no televisions at all, but I think we are unusual in that. I think most middle class Americans have most of the things I listed.

Interesting question.  Most Americans no longer have a landline phone ~ http://blogs.wsj.com/economics/2013/09/05/about-1-in-3-households-has-no-landline-phone/

(I'm not going to bother looking up televisions. Wink)

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Registered: 09-01-2002
Wed, 10-16-2013 - 7:19am

rollmops2009 wrote:
<p>My dad came from a very middle class family, and it was quite important to his parents to keep up certain appearances, like a nice vila in a "nice" area, owning horses and some other oddities. The kids went to private school as well as university.</p><p>My mom came from a family that had been modestly upper class for many generations. They kept a certain standard, but didn't really worry themselves about what kind of standard other people did or did not keep. They rode horses, but didn't own any. </p><p>Point being that the keeping up business has more to do with class environment, I think, than with era. You get strivers in every era.</p>

 fainting fainting.gif

You hardly ever discuss anything about yourself!  Thanks for sharing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2002
Wed, 10-16-2013 - 7:23am

savcal2011 wrote:
<p><blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"><div class="quote-author"><em class="placeholder">mortyswife</em> wrote:</div>&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;One shared phone and one shared bathroom&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;</blockquote></p><p>You and you dh and/or kids don't have cell phones?</p><p> </p><p>Man, I was on a party line as a kid.  Our ring was two shorts. My grandmother's ring was two longs. The neighbor's ring was one short/one long. </p>

errr.  Maybe that was also partly because of where you lived.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2002
Wed, 10-16-2013 - 7:26am

bordwithyou wrote:
If you all have cell phones you are hardly making do with one telephone. We have no landline and no televisions at all, but I think we are unusual in that. I think most middle class Americans have most of the things I listed.

savcal2011 wrote:
<p><blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"><div class="quote-author"><em class="placeholder">mortyswife</em> wrote:</div>&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;One shared phone and one shared bathroom&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;</blockquote></p><p>You and you dh and/or kids don't have cell phones?</p><p> </p><p>

You and Bord both concluded Morty only has one shared phone and one bathroom?  No cell?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Wed, 10-16-2013 - 7:28am

thardy2001 wrote:
<p><blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"><div class="quote-author"><em class="placeholder">savcal2011</em> wrote:</div>&lt;p&gt;&lt;blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"&gt;&lt;div class="quote-author"&gt;&lt;em class="placeholder"&gt;mortyswife&lt;/em&gt; wrote:&lt;/div&gt;&amp;lt;p&amp;gt;&amp;lt;strong&amp;gt;One shared phone and one shared bathroom&amp;lt;/strong&amp;gt;&amp;lt;/p&amp;gt;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;You and you dh and/or kids don't have cell phones?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Man, I was on a party line as a kid.  Our ring was two shorts. My grandmother's ring was two longs. The neighbor's ring was one short/one long. &lt;/p&gt;</blockquote></p><p>errr.  Maybe that was also partly because of where you lived. </p>

We had a party line for a short time when I was a kid, and we lived in Washington, DC.  It wasn't unusual back in the day.  I remember being taught to pick up the phone and listen for a minute before dialing.  I must have been about seven.  But the time I was ten, we had a private line.  I honestly have no clue what prompted the change.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Wed, 10-16-2013 - 7:30am

thardy2001 wrote:
<p><blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"><div class="quote-author"><em class="placeholder">bordwithyou</em> wrote:</div>If you all have cell phones you are hardly making do with one telephone. We have no landline and no televisions at all, but I think we are unusual in that. I think most middle class Americans have most of the things I listed.</blockquote></p><p><blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"><div class="quote-author"><em class="placeholder">savcal2011</em> wrote:</div>&lt;p&gt;&lt;blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"&gt;&lt;div class="quote-author"&gt;&lt;em class="placeholder"&gt;mortyswife&lt;/em&gt; wrote:&lt;/div&gt;&amp;lt;p&amp;gt;&amp;lt;strong&amp;gt;One shared phone and one shared bathroom&amp;lt;/strong&amp;gt;&amp;lt;/p&amp;gt;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;You and you dh and/or kids don't have cell phones?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;</blockquote></p><p>You and Bord both concluded Morty only has one shared phone and one bathroom?  No cell?</p>

I didn't "conclude" she had one shared bathroom and one shared phone.  I asked, and that's what she said.  We asked about cell phones but she hasn't responded yet.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2002
Wed, 10-16-2013 - 7:31am

jamblessedthree wrote:
So what are you saying savcal.. if there was hdtv, xbox, suvs then you would have had them? Weren't you poor?

I don't know how my dad did it, but I think we were pretty much a living-paycheck-to-paycheck family, lol!  And payday was infrequent!  But probably worth the wait??   Anyway, Mom always managed to get her hair and nails done every week like a proper lady, snort!  Still does.  Undecided

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Wed, 10-16-2013 - 7:32am

rollmops2009 wrote:
<p>My dad came from a very middle class family, and it was quite important to his parents to keep up certain appearances, like a nice vila in a "nice" area, owning horses and some other oddities. The kids went to private school as well as university.</p><p>My mom came from a family that had been modestly upper class for many generations. They kept a certain standard, but didn't really worry themselves about what kind of standard other people did or did not keep. They rode horses, but didn't own any. </p><p>Point being that the keeping up business has more to do with class environment, I think, than with era. You get strivers in every era.</p>

My husband's family was the same way.  His Mom came from a fairly well-do-do family in Southport, CT; his father from a middle class bordering on upper middle class family.  His father was much more into appearances than the mother.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2002
Wed, 10-16-2013 - 7:35am

bordwithyou wrote:
  I didn't "conclude" she had one shared bathroom and one shared phone.  I asked, and that's what she said.  We asked about cell phones but she hasn't responded yet.</p>

I can't imagine Morty doesn't enjoy all the finer things in life.  I don't think any of us imagine her with a single landline, lol!

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