What do we owe our familes?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2007
What do we owe our familes?
416
Fri, 11-14-2008 - 6:25am

Ok, I'll admit this career change hasn't gone as well as hoped.

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Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 11-14-2008 - 6:55am

I woul 100 times my daughter have a mother in a modestly paying job that she loves and that makes her happy athan a mother in a high paying that isn't ' what she wants to be doing...

you shoudl do what YOU want to do b/c if you're happy then that's the most important thing.

Yes. We. Can.

 

Yes. We. Did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2006
Fri, 11-14-2008 - 7:17am

It is up to use what we do for a living.


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2008
Fri, 11-14-2008 - 9:51am

I agree with the other posters so far.


I think parents "owe" their children a content mom/dad.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 11-14-2008 - 2:02pm

Short answer is that you owe them what you feel you owe them, but you are entitled to re-examine your feelings on this now and then.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 11-14-2008 - 4:04pm
We owe our families love, attention and decent behaviour (no meaness, unethical acts etc.). When it comes to money, I think it is a VERY BAD IDEA to give kids the idea that they are owed a certain lifestyle that you must financially support. That breeds an entitelment attitude which will be very hard to shake. You may want to give your kids certain financial perks- house instead of apartment, paying for any college in full etc.- but you sure as heck don't owe it to them. And if you can't convince yourself that you don't owe it to them, for the love of God, keep that feeling a secret because if they ever find out that you think they are OWED a certain lifestyle...
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Fri, 11-14-2008 - 4:07pm

i'm not sure what you're asking.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 11-14-2008 - 4:20pm

It really does depend on your personality and the family dynamic.


"But you do need to be honest with yourself about whether the stress from tight finances is worth it in order to have a job you enjoy, and whether that stress is too much to put on your family."


This is a great point.

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Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 11-14-2008 - 4:26pm
that -- to me -- is sad. I make little money but Yet I also consider myself financially secure. And I'm happy. I would make a really really crappy millionaire...
Yes. We. Can.

 

Yes. We. Did.

Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 11-14-2008 - 7:19pm

I don't think the "best" lifestyle for your kids is necessarily the one that earns the most money. Doing something you like and having a lifestyle that gives you enough time with your family are part of the best lifestyle too.

I agree with travsmom that you have to consider the stress of making less money, but I also think you have to consider the stress of spending all day doing something you don't really want to do. Only you know what is going to be more stressful for you.

As for kids not having what they're used to, for me, that would depend on what you're talking about. I don't see any obligation to provide "stuff." OTOH, if longterm, I couldn't save for their college, I'd probably be thinking about what else I could do to make more money.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2002
Fri, 11-14-2008 - 8:45pm

Im not sure that question really has an easy answer.


I think satisfaction in your career is important, but what kind of comprimises is your family going to have to make in order to accomodate that.


You can not realistically expect your kids, or your spouse, to be exstatic that you have an emotionally satisfying career, if in turn it requires all of them to make sacrifices and give up a lifestyle they are accustomed too.


Granted they are not "entitled" to a grandiose lifestyle.

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