what made you decide to do what you do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
what made you decide to do what you do?
1246
Wed, 05-21-2003 - 12:18pm
In the interest of changing the subject back to something that is actually relevant to a SAH/WOH debate (LOL!), I will pose a question to anyone who wants to answer:

Who or what would you say was the greatest influence on your decision to SAH or WOH, whichever one you do (or want to do, if you aren't doing what you want)? Did any particular person, circumstance, situation, or anything else lead you to decide this question one way or the other?

What if two different influences conflicted? How did you make the decision then?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 05-28-2003 - 2:00pm
Oh no, I'm not offended at all!! Jump in whenever ya want! :o)

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 05-28-2003 - 2:05pm
Actually if you re-read the thread, I never said it excluded you from doing things as a family as well. I DID say that overscheduling children could impact family time. That means face-to-face, looking at each other and actually talking, family time. Opinion seems to think that watching a child participate in a sport is the same thing. I disagree.

My kids participate in sports too. I never said they didnt. But I also wont allow them to be in several things at once (anymore than dh or I would schedule ourselves for several activities at once) because it would cut into our family time.

You might want to take another look at what the whole issue was about here.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-28-2003 - 2:07pm
I specifically mentionned both dance and cycling. The problem is, its difficult for kids to get out and enjoy other kids actively - which is what they want to do - being as parents are afraid to let grade schoolers out of their sight.

I don't think you need to look to far, really to find a link between kids who don't do sports, and kids who do too much nintendo. Also, the malls, all that stuff. In the end, as I always maintain, the health sacfifices are the same, whether the kid is sitting in a chair reading a book, drawing a picture, or playing nintendo. Equal time doing any of these, same result.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-28-2003 - 2:08pm
No ball thing in gymnastics, skiing, cycling, dancing, swimming, skating or any of the many things I've mentionned. Try to keep up.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-28-2003 - 2:17pm


However, the problem is, left to their own devices, your kids can find alot of other things to do that don't invovle physical activity. And if nintendo is what they want to do (I assume if you have to limit it, it is) then their first thought is probably not going to be shooting baskets, or playing tag. Because what they really want to do is flop in a chair and expend little physical activity. Perhaps they'd pick up a book, or try to engage someone in a board game?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-28-2003 - 2:22pm
Well there you go. Thank you. Limit the kid to one activity at a time, he's going to have a much more difficult time finding something he likes and can succeed at, than the kid who was allowed to persue a few things - even if - ghasp - as so often happens, it meant more than one thing at a time. THAT is my theory, and you just offered pretty good support for it. I don't think the child's mother shared my theory. I think she liked baseball. Have you never met an unhealthy skinny person. Yeesh. The smartest people I recall, with the best scholarships, were very much into sports as well as the arts. The real smart ones tend to be quite well rounded.
Avatar for outside_the_box_mom
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-28-2003 - 2:26pm
I agree with DJ. You don't know much about running. I run and I certainly would never "force" my child to run with me. However, in the summer I do "force" him to ride his bike with me while I run a couple of miles. Am I focused on myself only? Far from it. That is one of the pleasures of running -- you can share it with someone.

And about the "shared interest." It doesn't have to be sports only. As a family, we have shared interests. My son loves Harry Potter -- I started him on it, now we share it together. He wanted to learn how to play chess (because of HP), now he and Dad play together. We also go shoot rockets off together (after DS and DH build them), and all three of us love to play mini-golf. One day I hope to learn how to play golf, and maybe my son will too.

The thing is, I don't really much care what he *does.* If he wanted to take ballet, I'd sign him up. He begged for T-ball and got it. Perhaps we'll do soccer, I don't know. He will learn an instrument -- probably piano. Just because we're not exposing him to everything doesn't mean he can't do it. He's only 6 -- and doesn't need to be booked 5 nights a week with activities.

outside_the_box_mom


Edited 5/28/2003 2:31:12 PM ET by outside_the_box_mom

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
Wed, 05-28-2003 - 2:27pm
I don't know any parents who won't let their children play in their yard (provided they have one.) Dd spends plenty of time running around and playing with neighborhood kids. We ride bikes and she runs around in the gym with other kids while I work out. No one is disputing the need for children to be active. We simply don't care for the organization and competitiveness of sports. We have a pool in our neighborhood. Dd will likely spend hours everyday in the pool, playing with her friends. Why should I step in and insist that she turn it into a sport and cart her off to the local Y everyday so that she can time her laps and compete against other kids, if she doesn't want to? A game of "shark" provides just as much physical activity as swimming laps.

There may be a correlation between children who aren't active and electronic entertainment but as I said, a sport is not the only route to physical activity.

Healthwise, reading a book and playing Nintendo may be equal but in every other way -social, emotional, intellectual--reading a book is the far superior choice. And if a child doesn't spend enough time reading, whether he is playing soccer or nintendo, the intellectual sacrifice is the same.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Wed, 05-28-2003 - 2:30pm
I didn't actually lose any weight when i was pregnant, but I only gained TWO lbs. for the entire time (child #3). My mom was a bit worried, but Dr. wasn't worried and neither was I (i had plenty of weight to spare).

eileen

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 05-28-2003 - 2:36pm
Agree, dd and I have had some great conversations while running. Now dh, I admit, is usually already at the finish line with ds (in the jogger) by the time we finish a race, lol.


dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

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