what made you decide to do what you do?
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what made you decide to do what you do?
| Wed, 05-21-2003 - 12:18pm |
In the interest of changing the subject back to something that is actually relevant to a SAH/WOH debate (LOL!), I will pose a question to anyone who wants to answer:
Who or what would you say was the greatest influence on your decision to SAH or WOH, whichever one you do (or want to do, if you aren't doing what you want)? Did any particular person, circumstance, situation, or anything else lead you to decide this question one way or the other?
What if two different influences conflicted? How did you make the decision then?

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If your kids like their lives, bully for you. But my kids would HATE your kids life. My dd made it very clear early on that she didn't want to do more than one activity at a time. She simply likes being home. And, contrary to your limited understanding, being home doesn't mean sitting doing nothing. Heck, we don't even own a gaming system.
Just because you've lost the thread of the debate doesn't mean the rest of us have. Some of us actually understand that the choices aren't limited to either multiple organized sports or sitting home playing nintendo.
Gestational diabetes is caused by hormone changes during pregnancy, and is completely different from other forms of diabetes.
It's a shame you have such a low opinion of reading, since apparently you could use some work on your reading comprehension skills. sahwm said nothing about gd being a good thing, only that it's widely recognized that women with gd often lose weight during pregnancy, and it's not considered a problem.
I know you think you're funny, but your posts aren't intelligent enough to be clever.
I don't have any beef with parents who want to involve their kids in lots of activities. It doesn't work with us, in part because yes we have four children, and we couldn't afford it, but also because I think that balance is really important in everyone's life, and down time is as important as family meal time, as homework time, as structured activity time, as church time. There are only twenty four hours in a day, and with two working parents, we do the best we can, as do you, no doubt. I guess every family works out their own balance. This balance works well for us.
pax
Jane
Dd who is five belongs to a youth clubby type thing at church, but that's about it. She hasn't really expressed an interest in much more. So far she thinks the best thing in the world to do is to blow bubbles off the front porch and play with the dog. I'm not overly fussed about it either, I have to say. She has a pretty cool life. The only thing I feel a *bit* guilty about is that I haven't taught her how to swim or got her into swimming lessons. That's more of a safety thing though.
The thing that I find hard is how things are scheduled more on weekends these days - I know it has to be that way to accomodate working parents (like me!) but it means that a delineated family time doesn't really exist. And it also means I haven't been to church in a month!!
pax
Jane
The timing is difficult too. We've already missed a month's worth of church because of dd#1's orchestra rehearsals, and that's not something I want to repeat on a regular basis. Melbourne is the second most spread out city in the world, even though our population is tiny so the regional things are time consuming to get to, and while it might be great spending that time in the car chatting, it's hard on the little ones. It's also very difficult to be in two places at once! We are also strongly involved in community work that isn't centred on the kids - the kids participate in that.
Family meal times are very important to us. Dh works on weekends, so time spent all together in the one room doesn't happen often enough. Things that regularly interfere with our family meal times are out. Dh works in the evenings most weeknights, and given the hours he works, it's so important for the kids to have that touchpoint time at the end of the day with him.
The reality of our family life is quite different from the reality of yours. My girsl are getting what they need, and we're striking a great balance between encouraging their gifts and interests, and investing in time together as a family.
I don't understand why you think that if they aren't in something structured, then they are missing out. We go on holidays together, play together, learn together...we just don't pay for lessons or club memberships to do all of it, that's all.
pax
Jane
Me neither! Which is, I guess, why our kids don't find it a trial to be around us and with us, rather than having to be involved in a structured activity. I don't understand why there is this apparent dichotomy being characterised here - parents like you and me, not wanting to schedule lots of activies, spoilsports and killjoys, and parents like Opinion, scheduling heaps and being apparently far more fun-loving and encouraging (!). Like all extremes, it bears no resemblance to reality. No doubt O123 can be a killjoy when she wants, along with the rest of us, skiing trips notwithstanding, and no doubt our kids have just as much fun as hers. Some people find fulfilment in structured activities, some people don't. Most of us achieve a happy medium. Personally, as a kid I was a homebody and was happy that way. Still am!
I want to know how, and I guess you do too, if my child is in the middle of a soccer game, she is more engaged with me than if we are playing a game of soccer together in the backyard with the dog? I don't understand how engaging their attention elsewhere = quality time with the kids. I don't have a problem with giving kids structured activities to do but like you, I don't think kids are missing out if their days aren't full of them. If our kids *were* an inconvenience, I reckon we'd be all too happy to book them into every activity we could manage!
pax
Jane
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