What would you change?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
What would you change?
28
Mon, 04-07-2008 - 1:27pm

I think most of us subscribe to the "whatever works" philosophy for the sah/woh "debate. We know that we live in a real world with real situations and what is "best" or "good enough" for one family may not work in another.

HOWEVER, if you could change things........

If you could change a few aspects of *your* circumstances, what would those be? And would it affect your sah/ptwoh/woh status or your partner's? What would happen? Would you be able to take several years off and be able to go back to your job? Would you and/or your spouse work part-time or reduced hours? Would your job be more "family friendly"? Would your available affordable local daycare center always be staffed with loving, caring, educated, potty training happy people? Would family be available? Would you hire Alice or Mary Poppins? Would you get 6 or 8 weeks of vacation every year?

Okay, that is enough about you.

Now, what would you change about the options/circumstances of what is around you? Daycare availability/affordability? Family friendly companies? More maternity/paternity leave? More vacation time? More accessible free family planning services?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2007
Mon, 04-07-2008 - 2:41pm

My life - I wouldn't change anything about my SAH/WOH situation for right now, it's what we always planned and I'm happy, DH is happy and DD is fine - no worries there.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2002
Mon, 04-07-2008 - 4:17pm

Hmm, I have to admit there isn't much I would change right now. I would probably like to travel for work a little less. Dh would definitely like to travel for work a little more...too bad we can't split our jobs between us :-). Otherwise, we've both got flexible schedules since I work from home most of the time and dh has the right to opt to work from home whenever necessary. I get 6 weeks paid vacation, dh gets between 8-9 weeks paid vacation, and we get 60 days per year paid to care for dd if she gets sick (we used to get the same for ds until he turned 12, and could still get paid leave if we have a doctor's note to the effect he is too sick to be on his own).

Now that I think about it: I would absolutely love to be a lot closer to family. If I could wave a magic wand and invent a transporter, I'd do it in a heartbeat...either that or move my family closer to us.

"Now, what would you change about the options/circumstances of what is around you? Daycare availability/affordability? Family friendly companies? More maternity/paternity leave? More vacation time? More accessible free family planning services?"

That's pretty much all in place where I live: daycare is dirt-cheap, very available and of high quality (affordable even to the very poor as fees are sliding-scale); companies tend to be family friendly and don't bat an eye at parents taking time off for sick kids (even the higher up male bosses end up having to do sick kid duty at times); parental leave is 440 days (officially split evenly between mothers and fathers, but mothers tend to take more of the leave than fathers); minimum vacation time is 6 weeks but the number of weeks can go up depending on one's position in the company and what has been negotiated; health care, including family planning, is universally available (and very cheap, though not free); all dentist/orthodontist stuff is free for kids under 18; university education is free.

I'm not planning on moving any time soon...at least not until the kids are out of braces ;-).

Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 04-07-2008 - 7:36pm
Ah, Sweden. ;)
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2005
Mon, 04-07-2008 - 8:51pm

I don't think I would change a thing. I am not looking forward to my youngest getting older and going to school. I am looking forward to working week nights and not all weekend shifts.


I love the fact dh job is very family friendly and I would think he would be more pressured to climb the corporate ladder if I did not work to make up the difference of my salary. He would spend less time at home ect... We are a team - we have to be since I do work. He spends lots of quality time with his daughters and he is in charge on the weekends. That has given the opportunity to bond with his kids and having a primary role in their caregiving.


I think things have worked out well and would not change a thing. I am happy I continued to work Part time after they were born. It has allowed our family financial security and I don't feel pressured to ever returning to full time work. It turns out my kids need me more the older they get. They may not think so but they do need someone keeping up with what is going on in their lives. I like the idea of being home when they get off the bus in Middle and HS. I will probably continue to work the night shift and sleep when they are in school.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2005
Mon, 04-07-2008 - 9:00pm
It

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2002
Mon, 04-07-2008 - 9:02pm

If you could change a few aspects of *your* circumstances, what would those be? And would it affect your sah/ptwoh/woh status or your partner's? What would happen? Would you be able to take several years off and be able to go back to your job? Would you and/or your spouse work part-time or reduced hours? Would your job be more "family friendly"? Would your available affordable local daycare center always be staffed with loving, caring, educated, potty training happy people? Would family be available? Would you hire Alice or Mary Poppins? Would you get 6 or 8 weeks of vacation every year?


I like where I am at right now.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2005
Mon, 04-07-2008 - 9:05pm
I will agree that Sweden is pretty great. I am 1/2 Swedish and have family and friends living there. Never been but dying to visit. I don't think I would like to pay the taxes the Swedes have to pay.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
Mon, 04-07-2008 - 9:49pm

I wish I could find a part-time chemist

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Mon, 04-07-2008 - 9:57pm

the game we play sometimes is "what if".

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2007
Tue, 04-08-2008 - 5:57am
Ok, i have to ask, Where do you live and where do you and your dh work? Because it sounds like you guys have a great little life there!!

Lori

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