What would you give up to stay home?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2004
What would you give up to stay home?
1422
Sat, 08-05-2006 - 8:36am

Hi everyone.

I have always said that staying home is so important to me that I would give up many things to be able to do that. We live in a very small home, I have no jewelry and we buy all our clothes at Walmart. I know that if I went back to work, we could afford more. But I would never trade being at home for a larger house or more luxuries.

However, after reading this board I have started to suspect that there are things I would not want to give up. If I couldn't send my kids to preschool a couple of hours a day, if I couldn't afford any after school activities like ballet lessons or if I could'nt afford any kind of summer program for them, I think I would have to find a way to go back to work. So basically, I'm perfectly happy to deny myself "things." But I would not want to take much away from the kids.

Of course I would probably have to find a new career becuase I could never work the 80 hours a week my old career entailed.

Lilypie Baby Ticker

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Avatar for taylormomma
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2003
Sun, 08-13-2006 - 11:09pm
Just in the interest of clarity, they didn't say you SAH with your girls.
Avatar for taylormomma
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2003
Sun, 08-13-2006 - 11:21pm

Why do you think your life is any sort of measurement for the rest of us?

I grew up in a home where reading and education were highly valued. But we didn't buy books. We did go to the library religously. My parents set an example of reading. My father refused to buy encyclopedias because he said they were obsolete as soon as they were published. That spoke volumes to me about the importance of continuing education.

By the way, we all read encyclopedias as kids. It's not that unusual.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Sun, 08-13-2006 - 11:25pm
even if i am home i dont fix my kids snacks after school. if they want something to eat they are quite capable of going into the kitchen and getting what they are hungry for. and so far it hasnt seemed to damage their feelings of security if they sometimes have to wait 10-15 minutes to tell me about their day - sometimes they even have to wait if i am home, if i am engaged in something at home i need to finish first. even as a sahm i am not at my childrens beck and call, and i still expect them to take on age appropriate tasks for themselves. so far my kids are happy, secury and independent kids so something must be working for them
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2005
Mon, 08-14-2006 - 12:03am

"even if i am home i dont fix my kids snacks after school. if they want something to eat they are quite capable of going into the kitchen and getting what they are hungry for. and so far it hasnt seemed to damage their feelings of security if they sometimes have to wait 10-15 minutes to tell me about their day - sometimes they even have to wait if i am home, if i am engaged in something at home i need to finish first. even as a sahm i am not at my childrens beck and call, and i still expect them to take on age appropriate tasks for themselves. so far my kids are happy, secury and independent kids so something must be working for them"

Just sharing a memory that remains very pleasant to me almost 20 years later--of course I was capable of cutting up an apple or orange for myself, but at a certain stage (I think 10th-12th grade) Mom knew I was more likely to share what was going on in my life over a shared snack than at the dinner table with Daddy. I was a fairly introspective kid and quite studious, so had she left me to get my own snack it's doubtful whether I would have emerged from my room again until dinner.

Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-14-2006 - 12:09am
Good for you. But doesnt work for me.
Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-14-2006 - 12:12am
Yes I agree. And this seems outside of the SAH WOH debate. I don't really *get* the mindset that doesnt see value in parenting, period. And I don't get someone who feels that a child is their responsibility for a certain period of time, and then its over.
I'll feel nurturing and responsible for my kids till I'm 6 ft under.
Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 08-14-2006 - 12:13am

Well, my kids are in school 7 hrs/day, so that's where the free time comes in for me. I work pt, so that gives me time to volunteer at school on my day off or attend a school function during the day. But I definitely don't spend half my time at school or anywhere near it.

My younger dd was 4 when I went back to work, so I never worked when they were little, but for me it wasn't really about whether it was easier or harder to work at one time vs. the other. I sah to take care of my kids, so once they were in school, I always planned on going back to work. That's just how I look at it.

Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-14-2006 - 12:15am

"a woman taking time out can't expect to hire back in at what she quit at let alone where her peers are who didn't quit"

Replace woman with person and then replace 'can't' with generally. I took off essentially almost 2 years from my career to do IVF and to SAH for 14 months with my kids. I didnt miss a beat returning to work and now earn 7 figures.
I also took off 2 years in my early 20's to relo as I couldnt get a work permit.

Nothing is as cut and dry as you've insinuated.

Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 08-14-2006 - 12:15am
I don't think so. Somebody posted median family income figures from the census on this board in the last year, and it was around 43K for the dual-income families, and a couple thousand less for single-income families. And that was without considering the cost of childcare. Maybe your numbers are old, or maybe they included single mothers.
Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 08-14-2006 - 12:25am
I read Freakonomics, too, and I thought it was disappointing given the hype, kind of "econonmics lite.". He really doesn't provide any statistics to back up any of his statements.

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