What would you give up to stay home?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2004
What would you give up to stay home?
1422
Sat, 08-05-2006 - 8:36am

Hi everyone.

I have always said that staying home is so important to me that I would give up many things to be able to do that. We live in a very small home, I have no jewelry and we buy all our clothes at Walmart. I know that if I went back to work, we could afford more. But I would never trade being at home for a larger house or more luxuries.

However, after reading this board I have started to suspect that there are things I would not want to give up. If I couldn't send my kids to preschool a couple of hours a day, if I couldn't afford any after school activities like ballet lessons or if I could'nt afford any kind of summer program for them, I think I would have to find a way to go back to work. So basically, I'm perfectly happy to deny myself "things." But I would not want to take much away from the kids.

Of course I would probably have to find a new career becuase I could never work the 80 hours a week my old career entailed.

Lilypie Baby Ticker

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2006
Mon, 08-14-2006 - 1:06pm

I don't know if I was looking at median or averages. Median doesn't really let you compare the groups. It just says half above and half below. Though it tells us half of all familys live on little it doesn't give a picture of how close they are to that median based on moms working status. You really need an average along with the median here.

I took another look and the cite has changed. All I could find was income by number of wage earners in the household but that would include single parents as well as households with a SAHP. I don't believe the incomes of the two groups are that close together. Not sure how much time I'll have to look into this but I'll post what I find, when I find it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 08-14-2006 - 1:17pm

It depends on what you mean by "responsible for". They are most definately done being raised once they are adults. MIL keeps trying to "raise" dh even though he is in his late 30's. He gently reminds her that she doesn't need to do that anymore when she asks him if he remembered to take allergy meds, get the oil changed etc. My mom is certainly not responsible for me. But it's nice that she stayed with us for a bit when dd was a newborn- that was nurturing but not something that was actually her responsibility. Just a nice thing to do.

If you are responsible for somebody, there are certain things you OUGHT to do for them. And that really does end in adulthood. But nurturing can last indefinately and is just a nice thing to do for somebody you love.

Avatar for taylormomma
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2003
Mon, 08-14-2006 - 1:22pm
Are you actually taking the stance that the numbers indicate that EVERY SINGLE CHILD in the study with WOHPs did better than ANY SINGLE CHILD with a SAHP? Is that how you interpret statistics?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2003
Mon, 08-14-2006 - 1:22pm

**Is this really an issue to decide your working status over?**

Is there a SAHM here who has said that they base their working status on these studies you cite? I think not.

I think you are the one who relies so heavily on research.

Avatar for taylormomma
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2003
Mon, 08-14-2006 - 1:23pm
Um, yes...that was my point.
Avatar for taylormomma
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2003
Mon, 08-14-2006 - 1:23pm
I suppose they'd be grown by now.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2004
Mon, 08-14-2006 - 2:05pm

I have nothing to state that SAH is universally better. You have nothing to state WOH is universally better. That's because *neither* statement is true.

Or are you stating you have *proof* that WOH is universally better and applies to *every* child on this planet? If so, why don't you go ahead and enlighten us.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2004
Mon, 08-14-2006 - 2:23pm
Or option 3. Parents rely on their individual situations to dictate what is best for them and have largely chosen a correct match so kids in both situations are thriving.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2004
Mon, 08-14-2006 - 2:32pm
Yep.
Avatar for taylormomma
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2003
Mon, 08-14-2006 - 2:32pm
I was just about to post something about correlation not being equal to causation. Something that a few posters seem to miss. Repeatedly.

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