What would you give up to stay home?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2004
What would you give up to stay home?
1422
Sat, 08-05-2006 - 8:36am

Hi everyone.

I have always said that staying home is so important to me that I would give up many things to be able to do that. We live in a very small home, I have no jewelry and we buy all our clothes at Walmart. I know that if I went back to work, we could afford more. But I would never trade being at home for a larger house or more luxuries.

However, after reading this board I have started to suspect that there are things I would not want to give up. If I couldn't send my kids to preschool a couple of hours a day, if I couldn't afford any after school activities like ballet lessons or if I could'nt afford any kind of summer program for them, I think I would have to find a way to go back to work. So basically, I'm perfectly happy to deny myself "things." But I would not want to take much away from the kids.

Of course I would probably have to find a new career becuase I could never work the 80 hours a week my old career entailed.

Lilypie Baby Ticker

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Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 08-08-2006 - 10:49am
To me that's not a regret--just something you miss about your job. I like being back at work, but I never regretted that I wasn't working when I was a sahm.
Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 08-08-2006 - 10:52am
Yep; exactly.
Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 08-08-2006 - 11:00am

You're welcome to take an extreme view unsupported by anything other than your claim you read all this in a book somewhere). I'll continue to take the moderate view. It's served me far better in my life.

Most people don't save enough for retirement. That includes dual-income families. It's really about savings, income, and expenses, not work status.

And knowing your history, this is all pretty amusing. You sah with your stepsons, and you certainly aren't limited to making 40% less for the rest of your life. But whatever.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Tue, 08-08-2006 - 11:04am

Ok - well, then I guess I have no regrets either!

How could I regret spending this time with my little boy? We have such a wonderful time together. (I am off to take him to swimming lessons now). And *I* find that with not working I am less tired, less stressed and he is also less tired and crancky. But thats just me, others prefer to work - good for them. For me - work will always be there later. (Heck, since I have been home (almost 9 months now) - I have gotten 2 job offers!) I am lucky to have had a good education and great jobs in the past. But for now, I just want to be a SAHM. No excuses needed, no justification required. Its what I chose and want.

How long did you stay home? Why was it important to u to stay home?

Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 08-08-2006 - 11:06am
I'm not sure, but I'd say at least a few years. But she doesn't acknowledge that she's the reincarnation of another longtime poster, so she'll deny all of this.
Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 08-08-2006 - 11:11am
Thanks, but I'm not the least bit worried about whether kbmamm thinks I'm "normal"!
Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 08-08-2006 - 11:15am
Then why do you keep insisting wohms have more than sahms?
Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 08-08-2006 - 11:18am
Yes, it is utter nonsense. This sounds more and more like the thinking of someone who has worked her whole career for the same big company in the same industry where everything is on some sort of lock-step.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2005
Tue, 08-08-2006 - 11:28am
That's what I was thinking. I know some people who work for such companies and it is true to a degree that if one stays with one company for the whole of one's career the salary will increase at a fairly predictable rate based on starting salary. But that is certainly not always the case. I've known some who negotiated substantial increases by gaining a much needed skill. It's also well-known that one can dramatically change one's income by hopping to a new company and renegotiating the starting salary (I think it's called a vertical move?).
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2006
Tue, 08-08-2006 - 12:45pm
Beats me. How did you get all this from my post?

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