What would you give up to stay home?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2004
What would you give up to stay home?
1422
Sat, 08-05-2006 - 8:36am

Hi everyone.

I have always said that staying home is so important to me that I would give up many things to be able to do that. We live in a very small home, I have no jewelry and we buy all our clothes at Walmart. I know that if I went back to work, we could afford more. But I would never trade being at home for a larger house or more luxuries.

However, after reading this board I have started to suspect that there are things I would not want to give up. If I couldn't send my kids to preschool a couple of hours a day, if I couldn't afford any after school activities like ballet lessons or if I could'nt afford any kind of summer program for them, I think I would have to find a way to go back to work. So basically, I'm perfectly happy to deny myself "things." But I would not want to take much away from the kids.

Of course I would probably have to find a new career becuase I could never work the 80 hours a week my old career entailed.

Lilypie Baby Ticker

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-05-2004
Tue, 08-08-2006 - 10:14pm
Or what if she decides to choose a career in a traditional role (teacher, nurse, secretary)
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2006
Tue, 08-08-2006 - 10:15pm
Because they likely do? What part of your future earning potential is limited by SAH don't you understand? Compared to themselves, they will likely have less in the long run. My experience IRL is that women don't crunch the numbers beyond figuring out if they can afford to SAH today.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2006
Tue, 08-08-2006 - 10:15pm

<<>>

I know SAH is a good choice because of the benefit my presence brings to my family and because I am a strong role model for my children. They are learning, from me, that mom's can work or not work. That mom's or dad's can chose which path to take and that if it is possible to chose the choice is individual.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Tue, 08-08-2006 - 10:16pm

Yes, you are a strong role model. For sure.

And so am I, my son (and maybe a daughter in the future, ?) will watch me be a SAHM, and I will tell him about my education and previous career and then when my kid(s) are older they will see me work at a career again. They will see me be successful at both, just not at the same time (at least not when they are little).

My mom was SAH, and later did a Masters, started her own company and was successful. So, even though she was a SAHM for 10 years - she was an excellent role model for both motherhood and working.

Both SAHMs and WOHMs can be good role models.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2006
Tue, 08-08-2006 - 10:16pm
Have the data to back that up?
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-05-2004
Tue, 08-08-2006 - 10:17pm
Some parents do not mind being comfortable instead of rich when they retire. As long as I have a house, enough food, and my family nearby, then it doesn't matter if I can go on cruises all the time (which I didn't enjoy anyway). For some, family is more important than accumulating a lot of wealth.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2006
Tue, 08-08-2006 - 10:18pm
It was your choice of words, not mine "We have been debating back and forth and many things you have said, I vehamently disagree with." Which is why I asked. If you don't disagree "vehemently" why did you say you did?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2003
Tue, 08-08-2006 - 10:20pm

As far as modeling work ethic, I worked for over 20 years before quitting to SAH. I could go back in a heartbeat, but at this time, I'm at home with my boys. I don't see it as a waste of my time or education. I've had the pleasure of teaching my oldest to read at age 5 and am presently working with my youngest. It gives me such joy to work with them. As far as college, they have no choice - they WILL go to college.

You didn't answer one of my questions - in another thread you mentioned that if you didn't need the money, you would SAH. Why is that? What would it accomplish for you?




Edited 8/8/2006 10:26 pm ET by puppy_dog_tails
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2006
Tue, 08-08-2006 - 10:21pm

It's not working long hours that is the issue but whether or not you nurtured relationships. Even working 60 hours a week, you have 108 left. My father often worked two jobs yet made the time to spend with us kids. I've had great models for how to balance work and family all my life.

Now, being a workaholic who cares more about work than anything else, that I can see regretting but not just working a set number of hours. I have known people who care more about their jobs than their families. I've worked for one or two. However, it's not the hours that are at issue but rather their reason for working them. You see, they'd rather be at work than at home and that attidude shows up at home too.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-05-2004
Tue, 08-08-2006 - 10:24pm
How come when I post comments about workaholics that I know and why it's influenced me to try to be closer to my family you told me to go find another board that deals with workaholics so I wouldnt have to talk about them here?

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