What would you give up to stay home?
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| Sat, 08-05-2006 - 8:36am |
Hi everyone.
I have always said that staying home is so important to me that I would give up many things to be able to do that. We live in a very small home, I have no jewelry and we buy all our clothes at Walmart. I know that if I went back to work, we could afford more. But I would never trade being at home for a larger house or more luxuries.
However, after reading this board I have started to suspect that there are things I would not want to give up. If I couldn't send my kids to preschool a couple of hours a day, if I couldn't afford any after school activities like ballet lessons or if I could'nt afford any kind of summer program for them, I think I would have to find a way to go back to work. So basically, I'm perfectly happy to deny myself "things." But I would not want to take much away from the kids.
Of course I would probably have to find a new career becuase I could never work the 80 hours a week my old career entailed.

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Dh and I have also always lived below our means. So I know how that goes.
I knew I wanted to SAH. So I planned for it. It was included in our plans for the future. So it was not a bad decision for us. I took a job where I got 25,000 stock options and those went up about 7X in two years (as I suspected they would). So I invested and now am making money on that money. That on top of having no debt. And the fact that I do intend to return to work in my forties (leaving me another 20+ years to save), well for me thats enough. I have what I need and I dont require more and more.
Just as some decisions based on emotion are bad, many others turn out excellent. Sometimes I am willing to take some gambles when the payoff might be huge for me. Thats part of life for me. Life is short and yes, I plan, but I also do things that appeal emotionally to me. And I have always been happy and content. Like when I was young I travelled (alot). It cost money that I could have saved. But do I ever regret it? No way. It was awesome and life changing. Just like SAH is for me now.
What about you, dont you ever make any decisions based of "feeling"? I respect that you are very cautious with money and plan a lot. So do i. But you must have done some things in life purely because it "felt" right or you knew it would make you happy or your gut just told you it was the thing to do.
And I am sorry your SIL is going through such a hard time. The fact that she is a shell of a person cannot be entirely blamed on her decision to SAH. I would think there are other factors involve. no?
I can say for sure, as 2 WOH adults, before we had children we were a little dumb with money. We did put into our RRSPs using decent RRSP loans but we racked up a bit of debt on our credit cards that became hard to pay down. We weren't excessive spenders, but not the best at keeping ourselves financially sound.
As soon as we had kids though, we did plan for the future. We are saving $ for a house, we took some of the $ we put into RRSPs to eliminate our debt, and we are putting all our child care tax dollars from the government into RESPs. Even though we dont have as much in our RRSPs, our debt is gone and our monthly budget is less, so we are able to repay that money back easily within a few years.
In regards to retirement, if I find something i really enjoy in my later years, I might not retire 100%. I could easily decide to switch jobs to something maybe less demanding but lets me still earn money. There is no rule to say you have to retire at 55. If you live to 90, that is 35 years you have to budget for. If you start work at 20, then you have to start saving right away. Early retirement sounds nice, in theory, but IMO, not financially sound (Unless you have a kickass job or retirement fund - some do)
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You get your validation purely through your paycheck? I find that sad......life is too short for that kind of mentality.
nothing is perfect
Of course there are negatives to being a SAHM. But right now I am finding that, for me, the positives are outweighing the negatives.
Some people think they will do early retirement and then when they hit 55 they fight it like its a disease. They continue to work. My dad was like that. It basically took a stroke to get him to stop working at 60. Yet all my life I remember him saying how he would retire early! Funny how that works isn't it?
My mom on the other hand had no problem with it. She retired in her mid fifties. She likes being home (maybe because she was a SAHM for 10 years). It seems like her self esteem and identity is a lot less wrapped up in what she did for a living.
Winning the lottery sounds pretty nice!
I am really trying to enjoy this time I have as a SAHM, not only because I get to be with my little boy and we feel its a good choice, but also because I see it as a bit of a change, a break from the old 9 to 5 work life. I know I will eventually get back to the work life, but hopefully this time I have as a SAHM will allow me to have a fresh new attitude and a good appetite for work once I get back to it. And then maybe I can last till 60 before I retire! LOL
Jennie
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