What would you give up to stay home?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2004
What would you give up to stay home?
1422
Sat, 08-05-2006 - 8:36am

Hi everyone.

I have always said that staying home is so important to me that I would give up many things to be able to do that. We live in a very small home, I have no jewelry and we buy all our clothes at Walmart. I know that if I went back to work, we could afford more. But I would never trade being at home for a larger house or more luxuries.

However, after reading this board I have started to suspect that there are things I would not want to give up. If I couldn't send my kids to preschool a couple of hours a day, if I couldn't afford any after school activities like ballet lessons or if I could'nt afford any kind of summer program for them, I think I would have to find a way to go back to work. So basically, I'm perfectly happy to deny myself "things." But I would not want to take much away from the kids.

Of course I would probably have to find a new career becuase I could never work the 80 hours a week my old career entailed.

Lilypie Baby Ticker

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Wed, 08-09-2006 - 12:59am
so do you take the time off with just the first child, because i can tell you for me if i took off 5 years for each child that would be a minimum of 15 years - of course i believe the later years are more important for me to be around more, which is why i waited until my first child was older to be a sahm. plus for us the older they get the more time they take adn it is just easier for us for someone to be home. i really think it is more difficult to woh the older the kids get - not that it cant be done it just takes more work and planning than woh when they are small
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2003
Wed, 08-09-2006 - 1:56am
Actually you said that you couldn't believe you would need 1 million to retire...nice backpedal though.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2003
Wed, 08-09-2006 - 2:05am
Okay, so you go to work at 7:00 am, you come home at 9:00 at night, you do this 5 or 6 days a week...sometimes 7 if need be.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2005
Wed, 08-09-2006 - 5:51am

"My dd's are immensly proud of the fact I'm an engineer and that I out earn their dad. This is a great source of pride for them. It's not that I work. It's what I do, that I'm successful, committed and able to out earn a man. Somehow, I don't think the effect would be the same if I were a receptionist."

I'm sorry. I simply can't comprehend that attitude or raising children with that attitude. Why should children be especially proud because their mother happens to outearn their father? Why should they be particularly proud because their mother happens to be an engineer? My current job is one that is in a very male-dominated field. I would hope that my children would be proud of me doing good, solid work and helping to build the future of the company I work for. Being proud of me because most of my coworkers are male seems, well, positively bizarre. I don't think they even have a clue as to who earns more in the family. They know that we both have interesting, and often challenging, jobs. They know that sometimes my job comes first in determining the schedule and that sometimes dh's job comes first. They see that we work as a partnership.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2006
Wed, 08-09-2006 - 7:10am

"And I've already explained why any negatives due to WOH are to be downplayed. It's not just a simple issue of there being negatives. Those negatives have to be negative enough to offset the benefits of the income mom brings to the table. Even if there are negatives, they have to be major enough to offset the benefits of WOH."

You forgot to add "In my opinion"

I could say the same about SAH for our family. There are just no negatives that can't be offset by the benefit my family is getting from having me at home for awhile. Certainly not money, we have plenty. Sometimes enough is just enough and more doenst mean better.

Ando no, it's not a wash. As a mom of 3 boys I am certainly more interested in how my DS's will fair if I WOH, than how girls I dont and will never have will. It may be a moot point to you since you have no boys, but that doesnt make it irrelevant to all or even most people.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2006
Wed, 08-09-2006 - 7:20am
Bu that's a financial planning problem, not a SAH/WOH issue. I'm sure there are just as many "older women living in poverty" who WOH as SAH. Can you point to data that says otherwise? Simply having an income doesnt provide someone with financial security if they dont plan or save well.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2006
Wed, 08-09-2006 - 7:24am

"My posts aren't intended for those who are planning and saving for their futures, they're for those who don't plan for the future or think they'll just take care of it later without having considered all the variables."

So you acknowledge you are not debating SAH/WOH, but rather sound financial planning, which is a totally different topic... right?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2006
Wed, 08-09-2006 - 7:26am
Speculate all you want. The study doesnt show or indicate that in any way. If they wanted to prove that they should have included a breakdown of WOH from birth vs. SAH then RTW. But they didnt...
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2006
Wed, 08-09-2006 - 7:28am

"...and that I out earn their dad."

Do you make it a point to tell your girls this? If so, why?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2006
Wed, 08-09-2006 - 8:19am
ITA. I just posted something similar myself!

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