What would you give up to stay home?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2004
What would you give up to stay home?
1422
Sat, 08-05-2006 - 8:36am

Hi everyone.

I have always said that staying home is so important to me that I would give up many things to be able to do that. We live in a very small home, I have no jewelry and we buy all our clothes at Walmart. I know that if I went back to work, we could afford more. But I would never trade being at home for a larger house or more luxuries.

However, after reading this board I have started to suspect that there are things I would not want to give up. If I couldn't send my kids to preschool a couple of hours a day, if I couldn't afford any after school activities like ballet lessons or if I could'nt afford any kind of summer program for them, I think I would have to find a way to go back to work. So basically, I'm perfectly happy to deny myself "things." But I would not want to take much away from the kids.

Of course I would probably have to find a new career becuase I could never work the 80 hours a week my old career entailed.

Lilypie Baby Ticker

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2006
Wed, 08-09-2006 - 2:17pm

"The acorn doesn't fall far from the tree."

I sincerely hope that is true for your DD's sake. I'd hate to think that one or both of them would dare to make a choice that you dont agree with wrt thier career or lack thereof.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2005
Wed, 08-09-2006 - 2:25pm

Of course kids are free to say no. What nonsense about "pressure" and "guilt"! What would have happened to her mom if she had already been married and had children? Things would have been managed somehow. And yes, I know whereof I speak: my FIL had Alzheimers and was cared for exclusively at home by my MIL and SIL for over 10 years until he died. My SIL was also raising her dd at the time and working ft. FIL was unable to move, speak or eat in the last several years (that meant diapers, tube feeding through the stomach and daily exercises to minimize bed sores). My MIL wasn't able to help much physically as she's had serious health problems for years. The funny thing is that when my FIL died, both my MIL and SIL were absolutely crushed. In spite of all the work, they missed him terribly and their lives felt emptier afterwards.

Just exactly what are the medical problems? I can't imagine anything more labor-intensive than caring for an Alzheimers patient.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2006
Wed, 08-09-2006 - 2:28pm
So you think there is never an "enough" wrt money? More is ALWAYS better? Maybe you and your DH should get 2nd jobs then...
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2006
Wed, 08-09-2006 - 2:37pm
Yes, exactly...
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2006
Wed, 08-09-2006 - 2:43pm

<<>>

She didn't say in general. She said working mothers have an easier time. I disagree. I think it is about equal.

<<>>

I disagree. I don't think that is the case at all.

<<< Having your income means you have some resrouces and replenishable resources. Being a sah mom, means you have one more thing to do while going through the extruciating year of divorce- find a job.>>>

No necessarily. I have a friend that went through a very nasty divorce. Husband was a real jerk. She was a SAHM and went back to work, then got pregnant and starting SAH again when her son was born. They split when her son was 4 yrs old. Her DH has a great job working for the power company here and earns about $250,000 a year. She is currently in nursing school and he is paying her alimony as well as child support. She did sell their home and split the money with him, and bought a smaller home. She is in a much better financial situation now than if she had been working when they split. She is now able to finish school and get a much better job.

<<< Finding a job is one of the top 5 most stressful things (divorce is another). Not haviong apaid employment during dirvce means that you are at the whim of your soon to bex.>>>

Whim?

<<>>

That would depend on where you live. It would also depend on your financial situation.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-09-2006 - 3:11pm
Because I wanted to be financially secure before I had children and to me one of the signs of being settled and established was owning my own home.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-09-2006 - 3:13pm
I don't want to invade your privacy or discuss my own personal affairs, but it's hard to discuss this unless we agree on the $$$ we're talking about - e.g., are you talking about a good salary being $50,000 or $200,000?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-09-2006 - 3:16pm

"My personal opinion is that when there are DWOHP that is because both incomes are needed to make ends meet. I don't think that dual WOHP are in it to be wealthy, but need both incomes to support their families."


That's not true in all dual WOHP families.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2003
Wed, 08-09-2006 - 3:19pm

You're the one who said "little of what we (parents) do makes a difference."

Just pointing out that you made the above statement, then went on to claim that your commitment to your career is rubbing off on your DDs.

So which is it? Do we as parents have an influence on our children or not?

Like you said, it's pretty logical. So your earlier statement just simply isn't true.

BTW, I had other questions in my post.....




Edited 8/9/2006 3:21 pm ET by puppy_dog_tails
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-05-2004
Wed, 08-09-2006 - 3:31pm

A good salary in my area of BC, Canada could be from 60,000 to 80,000 a year. 100,000+ would be above average here. 200,000 would be rich. When on salary, before kids, the most I made a year was 69,000 and that was very good for someone my age. Now, on contract I make up to 40,000 before taxes (on good years, this year will be less because of DD born in april).

Edited: An average salary could be 30 to 50 and still very livable - but the family would need to budget more.




Edited 8/9/2006 3:37 pm ET by sunkistmom22

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