What would you give up to stay home?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2004
What would you give up to stay home?
1422
Sat, 08-05-2006 - 8:36am

Hi everyone.

I have always said that staying home is so important to me that I would give up many things to be able to do that. We live in a very small home, I have no jewelry and we buy all our clothes at Walmart. I know that if I went back to work, we could afford more. But I would never trade being at home for a larger house or more luxuries.

However, after reading this board I have started to suspect that there are things I would not want to give up. If I couldn't send my kids to preschool a couple of hours a day, if I couldn't afford any after school activities like ballet lessons or if I could'nt afford any kind of summer program for them, I think I would have to find a way to go back to work. So basically, I'm perfectly happy to deny myself "things." But I would not want to take much away from the kids.

Of course I would probably have to find a new career becuase I could never work the 80 hours a week my old career entailed.

Lilypie Baby Ticker

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2003
Wed, 08-09-2006 - 3:43pm

Partially agree. What I agree with is that DWOHs have more options READILY available. DSAHs just have one more (big) issue to face when going thru a divorce.

What I really disagree with is your stmt. that the reason a man will leave a SAHM is that they are not pulling their weight. That sounds like just another one of your digs at SAHMs.

There are MANY reasons for divorce, regardless of the wife's working status.




Edited 8/9/2006 3:45 pm ET by puppy_dog_tails
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2006
Wed, 08-09-2006 - 3:43pm
I didn't say that it was all dual WOHP. I also said it was my opinion.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Wed, 08-09-2006 - 3:45pm

I agree with your edited version. In BC (unless you live in Vancouver or Victoria) you can be pretty comfortable with 30-50K per year. Not rich, but middle class.

If you are in Vancouver, then the 60-80K would be more appropriate. But if you want to buy a house - then you better save up big time. I cant believe how expensive houses are in Vancouver!

My brother was living in Nelson and got a nice house for under $125,000 (it also had a rental suite) and now he is in Smithers and is looking at about $120,000 for a nice house.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-05-2004
Wed, 08-09-2006 - 3:48pm
We looked at a house a few years ago... nice, 3 bed, with basement... in our town for 152k. THe bank refused to give us a mortgage because of our self-employed status. It was the nicest house in our price range. Today... i bet its more than 250k for that house. THe only kind of place you can get for 140k now would be a run down shack outside of town. :S
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2003
Wed, 08-09-2006 - 3:54pm

Oh please...would you please post the link to the savings rates of SAHMs?

Also, I *could* say that WOHMs are poor planners, because if they really knew how to manage money, they would be able to live on one salary. But, I won't because that's not true.

BTW, I know a lot of WOHs who are living paycheck to paycheck. Why are they any better off than the SAHs living on a shoestring budget?

I'm surprised you are not a financial planner, with all this wealth of knowledge you seem to have. Then again, most of it is just your biased opinion.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2003
Wed, 08-09-2006 - 3:55pm
You can bet your bottom dollar that if she does, they are WOH ;). (Probably out-earning their DHs too.)
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2006
Wed, 08-09-2006 - 4:00pm
I'm also wonderng if all of these SAHM's that she knows well enough to know their financial situations know just how much disdain she has for their lifestyle choices. I personally only know that level of detail for people I call my friends (and some family). I would never think to trash my friends and family for their choices on the internet.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Wed, 08-09-2006 - 4:28pm

Where do u live?

I wish you luck in finding a nice home in your price range.

I am in calgary and we were lucky we got into the market a bit over 2 years ago. We paid 175,000 for our small house, and it is now worth (market value) 300,000+. Really incredible isnt it? We are now having a home built. We signed and locked in our price of 230,000 back in Dec. The same house is now being built for 360,000!!!!

What is this world coming too? When even a small house costs more then a quarter of a million!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-05-2004
Wed, 08-09-2006 - 4:40pm

We are right on Shuswap Lake in the Interior of BC. Great in the summer as we dont have to travel far for camping or the beach.

Building is what we would really like to do. That way we can get the house we want. Eagle Homes makes really nice modular homes , we've looked at their website a few times. From what I hear you can hire someone to build a basement that the house will fit on, then buy the home from Eagle Homes to put on top. We dont want anything large. But we do want a basement, so even a smaller home would have more room than the one we have now (2 bed - no basement)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 08-09-2006 - 4:52pm

I can see that as a little self esteem boost. Not a point of gloating, but just a boost. What is off-putting in kbamm's post is that her daughters are reported to be proud of her for outearning him. The subtext is that they are rooting more for their mom than they are for their dad simply because they are girls. It's "girl power" to an uncomfortable degree only because it claims the girls as being more "for" mom. As children, there is really no reason for them to be discussing disparity between mom and dad's salary with mom. It seems a little innapropriate (though that's just my gut feeling, not any sort of social rule). A child may overhear the adults talking and figure it out for herself (noah's post) but it feels inappropriate to me for the mom to encourage the dd's to root for her (salary- wise) and "against" dad.

Long and confused point made short: it feels ok to me for girls to be proud of their mom's accomplishments. It feels less ok for girls to be asked to favor mom over dad by beaming when they are proud that mom outearns dad.

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