What would you give up to stay home?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2004
What would you give up to stay home?
1422
Sat, 08-05-2006 - 8:36am

Hi everyone.

I have always said that staying home is so important to me that I would give up many things to be able to do that. We live in a very small home, I have no jewelry and we buy all our clothes at Walmart. I know that if I went back to work, we could afford more. But I would never trade being at home for a larger house or more luxuries.

However, after reading this board I have started to suspect that there are things I would not want to give up. If I couldn't send my kids to preschool a couple of hours a day, if I couldn't afford any after school activities like ballet lessons or if I could'nt afford any kind of summer program for them, I think I would have to find a way to go back to work. So basically, I'm perfectly happy to deny myself "things." But I would not want to take much away from the kids.

Of course I would probably have to find a new career becuase I could never work the 80 hours a week my old career entailed.

Lilypie Baby Ticker

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2006
Fri, 08-11-2006 - 10:22pm

That's right but what does this debate have to do about chidlren being well cared for? They can and do get well cared for either way. Besides, SAH is not a guarantee that children will be well cared for. Some SAHM's shouldn't be allowed to own a gold fish.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2006
Fri, 08-11-2006 - 10:26pm
Don't take this the wrong way but will you still think it was worth it when your father is gone and you have lost the opportuntity to learn from him? My deepest regrets in life revolve around the things I didn't take the time to learn from my elders before they were gone. Perhaps you can strike a balance here.
Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 08-11-2006 - 11:50pm

"I think there are certainly positives to sah, but i think most of them are positives for the mom or even the family as a whole, but i havent seen one positive of sah that influences only the kids."

Are you serious? I had a SAHM. The positives were...I didnt come home to an empty house. A huge thing in the pre teen and teen years. I knew there was an adult whose job it was to keep me out of trouble. Another huge positive. I also never wanted for any attention, a huge positive. To say that SAH doesnt benefit kids is like saying that one on one education doesnt benefit them. Is it imperitive? No. Does it help? You bet. Can it make a huge difference in a childs life well past childhood? Yep and yep.

Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 08-12-2006 - 12:01am
How preemie was he? Our 2 were born at 34 weeks, DD was healthy as a small oxe at 5 pnds, DS was healthy too but was only 3 pounds and freaked us all out. But no health scares outside of just being small (no oxygen, etc.) I personally think that preemies, and early scares, do dictate a different kind of parenthood, for better or worse, than having a full term healthy kid does.
Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 08-12-2006 - 12:19am

SAH does not usually determine your future retirement age."

Um well it definetly could and in many cases should. Its a simple math equation. I fully support SAH, and its important to us to have a SAHP. But in many cases it does mean financial sacrifice.

Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 08-12-2006 - 12:22am
Well that's pathetic. Both the husband and wife are at fault here, most likely. Ya need to know expectations going in. If the wife wants a WOHP and DH agrees, why is there any suprise? Vise versa if someone like me marries, we need to tell the man we intend to work, regardless. This is a breakdown of communication and a failing outside of SAH/WOH.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Sat, 08-12-2006 - 3:13am
are you serious? what in the world does having a sahm have to do with a child coming home to an empty house, i know alot of kids who have dual wohp and they NEVER come home to an empty house andi know kids with sahm who come home to an empty house sometimes, incuding mine. you really think only the kids of sahp's have a parent whose job is to keep them out of trouble? you really think kids of dual wohp's lack for attention, i know alot of kids who have a sahm but who lack for attention, that is a parenting issue and has NOTHING to do with parents work status. i can assure you my kids have never lacked from attention from my self or their father. its too bad your kids lack your attention just because you wohm - but that is family instance not across the board. so you equate having a sahp with having an education - boy not me. see, i think having an education is imperative, if my kids can not read and write they probably will have a difficult if not impossible time getting by in the world, i dont see anything about sah that makes it more possible for a child to get by in the world. i gotta ask how you think having a sahp is going to make a huge difference in a childs world well past childhood? having loving, caring, attentive parents will make a difference in a childs life, but that has NOTHING to do with having a sahp
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Sat, 08-12-2006 - 3:21am
to me quality childcare was never an issue - but then i never had childcare issues so maybe that is easy for me to say. i also never but my kids into the care of virtual strangers, until they started school. i agree that if you enjoy sah then that is a benefit to you. if you would just leave your kids with virtual strangers then perhaps having a sap was also a benefit to them, i just would never do that so it wouldnt be a benefit for my kids.
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Sat, 08-12-2006 - 3:23am
it has nothing to do with justifying sah. i was responding to a post regarding the value of a sahp. what i did was express my opinion on where i feel the value to having a sahp was and wasnt.
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Sat, 08-12-2006 - 3:26am
i should have said sahp because it is not always mom. i dont know anyone who thinks of their children as pawns but if you do so be it
Jennie

Pages