What would you give up to stay home?
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| Sat, 08-05-2006 - 8:36am |
Hi everyone.
I have always said that staying home is so important to me that I would give up many things to be able to do that. We live in a very small home, I have no jewelry and we buy all our clothes at Walmart. I know that if I went back to work, we could afford more. But I would never trade being at home for a larger house or more luxuries.
However, after reading this board I have started to suspect that there are things I would not want to give up. If I couldn't send my kids to preschool a couple of hours a day, if I couldn't afford any after school activities like ballet lessons or if I could'nt afford any kind of summer program for them, I think I would have to find a way to go back to work. So basically, I'm perfectly happy to deny myself "things." But I would not want to take much away from the kids.
Of course I would probably have to find a new career becuase I could never work the 80 hours a week my old career entailed.

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My dcp's aren't strangers.
My son was born 33 weeks at 3 lbs. I had a C-section because he was not growing, I was leaking placental fluid and had a very large placental tear which they were scared could become worse. Then we couldnt get him to keep anything down, and he got weak. Also had a hernia that got strangulated and needed surgery when he was 3 weeks (good thing we were still in the hospital and so they knew what was going on right away). He also had other issues that were later corrected with surgery at the age of one. He has one more surgery to do when he will be about 4 or 5. But is doing really great now (thank god). It was a difficult time. At one point they couldnt find a vein to put an IV into him because they were all used up! I could hear him crying as they tried over and over and I totally lost it.
But, it just makes me appreciate having him all that much more. Every second is precious to me. :)
Sorry you had a hard time with your daughter too. Scary stuff. Glad it all turned out well!
Josee
what in the world does having a sahm have to do with a child coming home to an empty house, i know alot of kids who have dual wohp and they NEVER come home to an empty house andi know kids with sahm who come home to an empty house sometimes, incuding mine."
Well that's not my experience. I can't think of anytime I came home to an empty house, and I had a SAHP (doesnt have to be mom, you've made that assumption).
" you really think only the kids of sahp's have a parent whose job is to keep them out of trouble?"
Where did I say that? Simply stated, its not a gaurantee, not even close, that a kid will stay out of trouble. I know *that* from experience. But I think my sister and I would have gotten into *more* trouble, if our parents were both away from the house as much as the dual WOHP's that I grew up around were and are still today. But that's just my experience, and its why *I* think its a benefit to SAH. Not the only one, but one that's important. We used to go to the kids houses whose parents worked long hours. And we all always got in trouble *there.*
Swedish children? What in the world do the stats on drug use among Swedish children have to do with my post?
I said "To say that SAH doesnt benefit kids is like saying that one on one education doesnt benefit them. Is it imperitive? No. Does it help? You bet. Can it make a huge difference in a childs life well past childhood? Yep and yep."
I didnt make any grand ultimatum, nor did I insinuate that SAH is the *only* way or imperitive to a kids development. I'm just able to recognize it has benefits to the children (and indeed the household in many cases). To say it has no benefits is a wrong minded as saying mom's should only SAH.
yet when you look at countries where drinking is just considered the norm, you dont see that. "
Um...have you actually lived overseas? I can tell ya, its just as big a problem in the UK, Australia, Ireland, etc.
Mostly their heads. Our hearts too often lead us astray.
If I'd follwed my heart, I would have had kids when I was 20, they would have grown up with an uneducated mother and lived a hand to mouth existance. Fortunately, my head said to wait until I was better prepared so my kids are growing up with the advantages of an educated mother and higher SES.
This is not a decision to make with the heart. It is a decision to make with the head. You look at the cost to benefit comparison and decide what works best.
Somehow, I don't think he had taking WIC in order to SAH when that passage was written.
This has nothing to do with SAH/WOH. It's an admonishment to not concentrate on building riches here and forget to prepare for the hereafter. It doesn't mean you should live poor. Believe it or not, you can be responsible for your own support and still prepare for the hereafter.
Again, I ask, have you looked at the type of nursing home that medicaid will pay for? When that's all you have to work with, your choices are limted. I've stated before that her mother needs a sterile environement. Having helped three close relatives in nursing homes in my lifetime (including the search for one they could afford (two on medicaid only)), I can tell you that will be one tough bill to fill. I wouldn't even call most of the ones I've been in clean let alone sterile. My step mothers nursing home was nice but her part of that bill was $1500/month after medicaid/medicare (forget which she was on) paid their part.
My friend had no choice. It fell to her to take care of her mom because her mom can't take care of herself. My friend's character is such that she would not see her mother on the street and soon dead because of lack of care. How you can fault her for that is beyond me.
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