What would you give up to stay home?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2004
What would you give up to stay home?
1422
Sat, 08-05-2006 - 8:36am

Hi everyone.

I have always said that staying home is so important to me that I would give up many things to be able to do that. We live in a very small home, I have no jewelry and we buy all our clothes at Walmart. I know that if I went back to work, we could afford more. But I would never trade being at home for a larger house or more luxuries.

However, after reading this board I have started to suspect that there are things I would not want to give up. If I couldn't send my kids to preschool a couple of hours a day, if I couldn't afford any after school activities like ballet lessons or if I could'nt afford any kind of summer program for them, I think I would have to find a way to go back to work. So basically, I'm perfectly happy to deny myself "things." But I would not want to take much away from the kids.

Of course I would probably have to find a new career becuase I could never work the 80 hours a week my old career entailed.

Lilypie Baby Ticker

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2006
Sat, 08-12-2006 - 2:16pm
Thank you for your honesty. You just confirmed my point that your issue is with financial planning, not SAH.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2006
Sat, 08-12-2006 - 2:27pm
Thanks for the response. I'm basically a SAHM because *I* enjoy it. I am pretty sure my kids would do well in DC if I *had* to work, but I dont so I am greatly enjoying every second I have SAH for now.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2005
Sat, 08-12-2006 - 2:52pm

You implied that there were risks to having a child come home to an empty house, which is why I brought up Swedish kids since most are home alone for a couple of hours every day. I would be interested to know what those risks are.

"To say that SAH doesnt benefit kids is like saying that one on one education doesnt benefit them. Is it imperitive? No. Does it help? You bet. Can it make a huge difference in a childs life well past childhood? Yep and yep.""

SAH may benefit some kids, it may not benefit others. It will not provide an across-the-board benefit to all kids. The same can be said for one-on-one education. Some will thrive with that type of education, others will not. You are claiming here that there is an across-the-board benefit for *all* children from having a SAHP and from providing a one-on-one education. I'd like to see some research that proves that statement. Tell me what benefits *all children* derive from having a SAHP that a child would not be able to gain from having two WOHPs.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2005
Sat, 08-12-2006 - 2:53pm

But you haven't lived anywhere in Europe, if I recall correctly.

eta: naturally the U.K. and Ireland are technically part of Europe but the cultures are so vastly different from mainland Europe that neither side really sees them as being part of Europe. I was quite shocked at the amount of and approach to drinking I observed in Ireland and England. It's very different from the way people tend to drink in mainland Europe, particularly the more southern parts.




Edited 8/12/2006 3:12 pm ET by cl-laura_w2
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2005
Sat, 08-12-2006 - 2:55pm
Please. Your friend's house is nowhere near a sterile environment. It really really isn't. It may be clean and well-kept, but sterile it's not.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2005
Sat, 08-12-2006 - 2:58pm
My mom SAH for many years (and also worked for many years). We often came home to an empty house from the time we were quite little.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2003
Sat, 08-12-2006 - 3:19pm

I was responding to KB's statement. She is the one who brought it up.

I SAH to make sure my kids are well cared for, because I KNOW without a shadow of a doubt they are receiving more loving care than with anyone else. IMO, it is a reason to SAH, even though others might not agree. Everyone has different comfort levels.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Sat, 08-12-2006 - 3:54pm

what amazes me is the insistence that work status has nothing to do with parenting (good or bad) but assert that sah only belongs in a luxury category...if work status has nothing to do with parenting,what difference does the sahm living in luxury have to do with any of it?

i was a miserable wohm after dd1 was born. the guilt of leaving her with someone who was dividing her time with 4 other babies during a most critical time in my child's life led me to ctsah instead of relying on this 3rd party while i worked.........i'm a better mom not only because i sah but because i have the freedom of choice to do so. i suppose miserable would be replaced with tolerance if i htwoh.

 

Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 08-12-2006 - 4:13pm

But you haven't lived anywhere in Europe, if I recall correctly."

Um, the UK is in Europe last time I looked. I've also spent 3 months in Portugal and 4 in Monte Carlo.

eta: naturally the U.K. and Ireland are technically part of Europe but the cultures are so vastly different from mainland Europe that neither side really sees them as being part of Europe."

What? That's rubbish. My assistant and associate are Finish. I've never heard them refer to the UK or Ireland as part not being part of Europe and all the Brit's I know, would also disagree with you.

.

Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 08-12-2006 - 4:16pm
Well mine were twins, born at just under 34 weeks. DS was 3 pounds, DD was almost 6 pounds. Emergency C section as DS's growth had also slowed dramatically (they call it IUGR) and deliverd them both to ensure his survival.
Both of them were very healthy and didnt need anything but time to grow. DD was out in less than a week (though I convinced them to let her stay with him for a few more days) and DS was out in one month. The most heart wrenching part of it for me, was when I had to take DD home, and should have been thrilled, and joyous, but was torn and very very sad as we had to leave DS there....

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