What would you give up to stay home?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2004
What would you give up to stay home?
1422
Sat, 08-05-2006 - 8:36am

Hi everyone.

I have always said that staying home is so important to me that I would give up many things to be able to do that. We live in a very small home, I have no jewelry and we buy all our clothes at Walmart. I know that if I went back to work, we could afford more. But I would never trade being at home for a larger house or more luxuries.

However, after reading this board I have started to suspect that there are things I would not want to give up. If I couldn't send my kids to preschool a couple of hours a day, if I couldn't afford any after school activities like ballet lessons or if I could'nt afford any kind of summer program for them, I think I would have to find a way to go back to work. So basically, I'm perfectly happy to deny myself "things." But I would not want to take much away from the kids.

Of course I would probably have to find a new career becuase I could never work the 80 hours a week my old career entailed.

Lilypie Baby Ticker

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Sat, 08-12-2006 - 8:17pm
You pointed out that one of the intrinsic values of having a SAHP was that you never came home to an empty house. That would imply that you believe that children of WOHPs regularly come home to an empty house.
Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 08-12-2006 - 8:42pm

If someone takes time off, she gives up income during that time period. That doesn't necessarily mean she will have less income the rest of their lives. And it certainly doesn't mean she will have less in the long run. The more you make, the more you tend to spend.

If my dh makes more money than yours does, or if I make more money than you do, or we both started saving earlier than your and your dh, or if our expenses are lower than yours, or if we are better savers than you are, we will have more saved for retirement than you will, regardless of whether I took a few years off. Sah/woh is only one factor in determining how much savings people have.

If you want your argument to have any credibility, you're going to have to prove that the typical sah family has less saved for retirement than the typical woh family. Your experience IRL doesn't cut it for me.

Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 08-12-2006 - 8:43pm
So exactly what information do you have comparing savings rates of sah vs. woh families?
Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 08-12-2006 - 8:45pm
Well, you certainly seem to think you have all the answers for sahms and their finances.
Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 08-12-2006 - 8:47pm

Actually, someone posted census figures a while back showing that median family incomes for sah families and woh families were pretty darned close.

But I actually think you're right that most sahms aren't sitting on a pile of money when they sah. Most wohms aren't sitting on a pile of money when they woh, either.

Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 08-12-2006 - 8:57pm
Coming back late, but we preferred having a parent as the caregiver during the early years. It also made life less stressed for us and gave my dh more time with the kids. On the personal side, I waited a long time to have kids, so I wanted to really savor it. For us, sah was the best way to accomplish those things. I sah for 6 years. I've been back at work pt for 3 years.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Sat, 08-12-2006 - 9:01pm

I totally agree. I have said the same "The more you make, the more you tend to spend."

I did, and I see a lot of my working friends do the same. They make lots and they spend lots and most (not all) dont even have any retirement savings. So I am way ahead of them even if I did decide to stay home for 5 (or more) years. And I have a feeling I will still be ahead in the future. Of course, there will be some dual WOH families that will be better off, and some WOHMs are great at saving and will do better them me. But, WHO CARES? LOL. As long as I know we have what we need, its all good.

"Sah/woh is only one factor in determining how much savings people have."

Again, agree

To me its more if a person is or/ is not good with money/finances. I dont see it as having that much to do with SAH or WOH.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Sat, 08-12-2006 - 9:03pm
That what I plan to do too.
Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 08-12-2006 - 9:06pm
Nah. The last time I got into this discussion with you, you told me it didn't matter that I went back to work when my kids were 4 and 6. According to you, my kids are still screwed by the bad example I set during the time they won't even remember.
Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 08-12-2006 - 9:08pm
Ditto.

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