What would YOU have to do to SAH?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2005
What would YOU have to do to SAH?
2476
Fri, 02-13-2009 - 5:09pm

If you're a WOH/WAH mom, what sort of "downsizing" would you need to do in order to afford to be a SAHM? (SAHM defined here as not earning any money)

For me, I would have to put all our non-essential possessions in storage and move in with my parents.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2009
Mon, 03-02-2009 - 1:11pm

uh huh...I'm sure the substantive transfer of knowledge she's getting on writing a biography of singer Mandy Moore who happened to be born in NH will be vast indeed LOL.

for ME its about the way my kid operates and I trust that she knows her own deadlines and I trust that if she doesn't know them and she misses this one she'll learn from the experience...

Liza has substatntive transfer of knowledge experiences every day... the kids a sponge... but few of them come from her homework sheets.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2007
Mon, 03-02-2009 - 1:15pm

>> I wonder why the other mother thought it was odd then? Do you not think that maybe the mother knew someone else in her dd's class and knew it was due on the same date? <<

Maybe she made an ASSumption.


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Why hide your light under a bushel of bears, I ask you?

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Why hide your light under a bushel of bears, I ask you?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2007
Mon, 03-02-2009 - 1:22pm

>> about some of the more interesting ones, or ones that are longer-term, or ones they are having problems with, or ones they want my assistance with ... but they don't mention every assignment. I don't ask to be told about every assignment. I ask the general question of "Do you have homework?" or "Have you done your homework?" on a regular basis. As long as their answer indicates that they're progressing just fine, I don't go any further. <<

That's pretty much how it goes in my house. I know by this point in the school year what days certain work tends to be due - e.g., YDS spelling homework is always due on Friday, so if he tells me he has no homework on Thursday night, I will ask about spelling; ODS has math homework every night, so if he told me he had none I'd want to know why. We talk about longer-term assignments or projects that need parental approval (building rockets for science fair) or purchase of materials (posterboard, etc.). But I consider my children responsible for their homework, not me. I am responsible for providing them an appropriate space in which to do their homework, making sure they have the tools they need (paper, pencil, eraser, ruler, etc.), and minimizing or eliminating distractions like TV.


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Why hide your light under a bushel of bears, I ask you?

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Why hide your light under a bushel of bears, I ask you?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 03-02-2009 - 1:23pm

Again, I think it is utterly and completely impossible to design a system that doesn't rely on parents for a child's basic education. How would that even work? At age 5, a child would arrive at school unable to talk, without ever having heard spoken language, unable to use the toilet, screaming in fear if anyone came close to him. And there would be not just one of these children, but 20, because no parents should be relied on to teach their children anything. And teachers would take a class of these children and have them reading in a year? Good luck with that.

I find it ironic that on a board where if someone suggests that daycare raises children people scream "parents raise children", that people think that schools can and should be expected to raise/educate every child in their care, when schools only have 6 hours or less, 180 days a year to do it, and only starting from age 5. Parents are children's first teachers and their most important teachers. They are the most constant presence in children's lives. Parents have to be relied upon to educate children -- there is no way to design a system that does not in some way include and rely upon parents, and there is no benefit in trying to do so.

And no, I don't agree with the mantra on this board that poor people don't care about their children's education. I think people on this board are quite wrong if they think that what poor people want for their children is drastically different than what they want for their own children.

Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Mon, 03-02-2009 - 1:23pm

First of all, I think that is probably overstating the matter just a wee bit. Rather, most likely many parents would not be content if their kids had to go to a CC for a few years or make do with a 5th tier college.

However, even in a situation with heavy competition, elementary school should still be able to provide the basic building blocks without parents doing half the actual teaching.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2007
Mon, 03-02-2009 - 1:24pm
Why is the teacher gossiping about other students with you? That seems very inappropriate.


++++++++++++++++++

Why hide your light under a bushel of bears, I ask you?

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Why hide your light under a bushel of bears, I ask you?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2007
Mon, 03-02-2009 - 1:29pm

We get a weekly classroom bulletin to parents, briefly outlining what's happening that week and highlighting any big projects. Those usually come with their own handout. Which the kid is responsible for keeping track of.


++++++++++++++++++

Why hide your light under a bushel of bears, I ask you?

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Why hide your light under a bushel of bears, I ask you?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2007
Mon, 03-02-2009 - 1:31pm

>> For us, in our area, it's because you can't be assured of getting into a state school even with a 4.0 GPA. <<

Can I ask why that is? Overcrowding?


++++++++++++++++++

Why hide your light under a bushel of bears, I ask you?

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Why hide your light under a bushel of bears, I ask you?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 03-02-2009 - 1:32pm

I think it is condescending to assume that only "nice middle class citizens" care about their children's educations.

I know people from extreme poverty who are living here without seeing their children for years. They risk their lives getting here, work hard jobs 7 days a week, and have no hope of seeing their children in the near future, because if they went back to visit they might not get across the boarder again. They do this to provide money to send their children to school. Yet you say that they couldn't possibly be expected to care about their children because they aren't middle class???

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2009
Mon, 03-02-2009 - 1:39pm
Wow, what state do you live in?? :0

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