What would YOU have to do to SAH?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2005
What would YOU have to do to SAH?
2476
Fri, 02-13-2009 - 5:09pm

If you're a WOH/WAH mom, what sort of "downsizing" would you need to do in order to afford to be a SAHM? (SAHM defined here as not earning any money)

For me, I would have to put all our non-essential possessions in storage and move in with my parents.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Mon, 03-02-2009 - 1:40pm

You would not believe the number of conversations, tours and time spent on choosing a middle/upper school for my oldest.....and we will do it all again for my youngest next year.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2009
Mon, 03-02-2009 - 1:42pm
Because our schools are among the best public colleges, from a cost benefit perspective and thus are very competitive.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2009
Mon, 03-02-2009 - 1:42pm
Does her father do the same?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2009
Mon, 03-02-2009 - 1:43pm
Wouldn't you think the grades would reflect those things?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2009
Mon, 03-02-2009 - 1:46pm
ITA with you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2009
Mon, 03-02-2009 - 1:46pm
well considering I talk and email with her father about 8 million times a day, yeah I think he does use that line - and he uses some of his own I'm sure just as I do. We're on the same page wiith her -- we've never ever been anything but.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2009
Mon, 03-02-2009 - 1:49pm

Liza brought home all A+s and As with 2 B+s for good measure I know how hard this teacher is -- last year I think Liza got As just for breathing but this year I know she's had to work hard to earn them. I like that. and I take no credit for them either --they're her grades and reflect her work and I'm proud of her.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2009
Mon, 03-02-2009 - 1:50pm
What if she missed another project? Would you THEN step in?
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2002
Mon, 03-02-2009 - 1:51pm

"Again, I think it is utterly and completely impossible to design a system that doesn't rely on parents for a child's basic education. How would that even work? At age 5, a child would arrive at school unable to talk, without ever having heard spoken language, unable to use the toilet, screaming in fear if anyone came close to him. And there would be not just one of these children, but 20, because no parents should be relied on to teach their children anything. And teachers would take a class of these children and have them reading in a year? Good luck with that."

You have got to be kidding me. No one at any point in this debate has suggested that parents are not teaching their children anything. We are talking about parents being an integral part of the teaching of academic basics that are supposed to be taught at school (you know, reading, writing, math skills etc.). Get a grip.

"I find it ironic that on a board where if someone suggests that daycare raises children people scream "parents raise children", that people think that schools can and should be expected to raise/educate every child in their care, when schools only have 6 hours or less, 180 days a year to do it, and only starting from age 5."

This conversation has been about parental involvement in formal education at school, not raising children. Whether you believe it or not, it really should be possible for schools to, for example, teach children how to read competently in those 6 hours per day/180 days per year. It should not require direct parental input to accomplish this. The fact that you think parents have to help the teachers accomplish this says a lot about the apparent competence (or, rather, lack thereof) of teachers in American schools.

"And no, I don't agree with the mantra on this board that poor people don't care about their children's education. I think people on this board are quite wrong if they think that what poor people want for their children is drastically different than what they want for their own children."

YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE WHO KEEPS MAKING SUCH OFFENSIVE STATEMENTS ABOUT PARENTS WHO DON'T INVOLVE THEMSELVES WITH THEIR CHILDREN'S FORMAL EDUCATION! I'm getting seriously ticked off by your continuing insistence on putting your derogatory opinion about parents who aren't involved in their children's formal education on me. My husband's parents were poor, they also never in any way involved themselves directly in his formal education. They didn't volunteer at the school, and they didn't help with or monitor his homework in any way; at most they turned up for the occasional parent-teacher conference. Why? Because 1) they couldn't have easily helped him with his homework because of their own poor educational background, and 2) it is not the cultural norm where he grew up for parents to involve themselves in their children's formal education in any way shape or form (the teacher would have told them to butt out at the first sign of any such involvement, parental volunteers not welcome). But you bet I know that they wanted the best for their kids. I like my MIL, I have a great deal of respect for her, and I (unlike you, apparently) know fully well that her lack of involvement in dh's formal education had nothing to do with her being "worthless", nor did that stop him from going very far indeed with his education, thanks to competent teachers who did their jobs as expected.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2009
Mon, 03-02-2009 - 1:52pm
she hasn't missed a project yet... why did you say "another project?" she hasn't missed one... If she DOES miss one I"ll address it and tell her to get her act together but will I step in and tatoo deadlines on her forehead? no.

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