What would YOU have to do to SAH?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2005
What would YOU have to do to SAH?
2476
Fri, 02-13-2009 - 5:09pm

If you're a WOH/WAH mom, what sort of "downsizing" would you need to do in order to afford to be a SAHM? (SAHM defined here as not earning any money)

For me, I would have to put all our non-essential possessions in storage and move in with my parents.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2009
Mon, 03-02-2009 - 4:08pm
The level of work that has been the crux of this debate cannot be done for two children simultaneously, thus it would be six hours.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Mon, 03-02-2009 - 4:10pm
Why not just let them have natural consequences? (Like get an F.) They are cheap in Elementary School. Better to have learned in Elementary school than pay dearly in HS.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Mon, 03-02-2009 - 4:10pm

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Ah, I'm responding to the question and context that was being debated, it was presented by 4thekids to me and then you asked the question what if her kids needed the 3 hours....


http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-pssahwoh&msg=19050.1399


http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-pssahwoh&msg=19050.1439


<<What would you do if even one of your 6 needed 3 hours of help each night?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2009
Mon, 03-02-2009 - 4:10pm

Nice try.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2009
Mon, 03-02-2009 - 4:10pm

PNJ never said 6 hours (besides the fact she DID state her children did not need this much help with homework).


It seems like from this debate, not many parents would even give up 1 hour, let alone 3 or 6 to help their children out though :(

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2009
Mon, 03-02-2009 - 4:11pm
amen.
Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Mon, 03-02-2009 - 4:12pm

No, I did not say anything of the sort. I said I had met a few over the years who actually did not care, but agreed that it was a minority.

However, the immigrant working to pay school fees for a kid thousands of miles away obviously cannot sit with that child 3 hours a day for home work time. That is an extreme example. But two of us right here, who are also immigrants, have explained how we have been limited in providing home work help because of language barriers. It is very noble and fine to work to reduce those barriers, but some will always remain. There will always be people who cannot for any number of reasons provide the level of direct support described in this thread. All I am saying is that their kids should not be left in the dust by the school system, and I say this as someone who has to some extent BTDT.

Also, it is a known fact that kids from middle class homes do better in school as a rule. The point that I and others have tried to make, in vain, is that whatever you do to "raise up" the underprivileged, teach them English and tell them to be involved with their kids' school, you cannot make them middle class. IOW, you cannot give them all those advantages that you and I and most other posters here have that will translate into our kids, on average, doing well in school.

My kid is not doing well in school because I sit with her for home work, because I don't and I never have. My kid is doing well in school because her dad and I have large vocabularies, because we read books, because she gets to eat lunch with college professors and politicians, because she has never had to worry about where her next meal will come from or having enough clothes to wear (even if her life is quite humble), because we take it for granted that she will go to college and speak more than one language, because we take her on trips and talk to her about what is happening in the world. IMHO, imagining that all parents could do that if they were only taught the importance of supporting their children's schooling is simply wrong and it downplays the harsh reality of class and the challenges that kids who are in some way or another underprivileged really face.

IMO, in a democracy the institutions ought to work to ameliorate such realities and give people an even chance as far as possible. But to do so, you must first look those realities squarely in the eye.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2009
Mon, 03-02-2009 - 4:13pm
If the choice is an activity and an F, IMO the activity would be going first.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2009
Mon, 03-02-2009 - 4:13pm
Gotcha :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Mon, 03-02-2009 - 4:13pm

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As I have detailed many times throughout this large thread, I have an interest in their

PumpkinAngel

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