What would YOU have to do to SAH?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2005
What would YOU have to do to SAH?
2476
Fri, 02-13-2009 - 5:09pm

If you're a WOH/WAH mom, what sort of "downsizing" would you need to do in order to afford to be a SAHM? (SAHM defined here as not earning any money)

For me, I would have to put all our non-essential possessions in storage and move in with my parents.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Tue, 03-03-2009 - 11:21am

so what are you saying..that a child disorganized is a natural place for him/her to be?

 

Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 03-03-2009 - 11:28am

Interestingly enough, another poster pointed out to me above that the good thing about NCLB is that it has forced schools to look at the kids who are failing. She says that when she was a kid, if you failed algebra, you failed it. It was considered your problem, and the school did not do anything special to help. I'm doubtful that all kids were getting it in my day, and we certainly had no afterschool tutoring or extra school resources for those kids. My brother was hearing impaired and got no additional help at school at all.

I don't know about sitting with your child for hours (that would suggest to me the school was giving too much homework), but I certainly don't consider being asked to check your child's homework a sign of a school in crisis. I don't know what you mean about teaching basic concepts, but I don't think reinforcing what your kids learn at school at home is a sign of crisis either. That's why I read with my kids, show them how cooking involves basic math, etc.

Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 03-03-2009 - 11:30am
Yep.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Tue, 03-03-2009 - 11:38am

IME (ten years of upper elem and middle school), the kids who are really disorganized tend to do poorly. Is this a blanket rule for all kids? Of course not, but definitely a trend. And I don't think that forgetting to turn in homework once in a while is a huge deal (we actually had two HW passes in 6th grade per quarter per subject that bought students an extra day to get work in, precisely because even the best of us forget things on occassion), but there are kids who "forget" to turn in homework, classwork, even quizzes (yup. I've had that happen) on a regular basis. There is definitely a problem then. It's hard to evaluate a student who gives little evidence to evaluate.


I'm not saying that disorganized people can't be productive, just that IME students that are well organized, either through natural tendencies or learned skills, tend to do better in school. They don't lose assignments, forget their planners on the bus, misplace pencils, etc., at least not on a regular basis. Are there exceptions to this? You bet. I'm just going by my experience, all any of us can do, really.

Poppies Sig
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2009
Tue, 03-03-2009 - 11:39am

I don't think dd was developmentally ready before this. I think that's borne out by seeing how many of the other kids in her class have the same issue.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Tue, 03-03-2009 - 11:46am

No, it just means that you are comfortable letting your son "fail" in Scouts but not in school. Katie and I are comfortable allowing our kids fail in school as well. Or if you are uncomfortable with the word "fail", we allow our children to experience the natural consequences of not doing their work. Something that they need to learn before they are adults. And some kids need to learn that in all aspects of their childhood, not just one segment.

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

Avatar for 4thekids2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 03-03-2009 - 11:48am

Okay maybe the word I'm looking for is typical. It is typical for a child to finish highschool in 4 years not 5. Am I correct that your child has special needs, an IEP something that makes him atypical in the school setting?


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2009
Tue, 03-03-2009 - 11:54am
that's it exactly -- and I'd rather she learn this lesson in fourth grade than her junior year in high school --
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Tue, 03-03-2009 - 12:02pm

No, I'd "allow" them to fail--to turn in an assignment late and still get a 0 on it because it's late and repeat the grade if necessary. I have done it. And would do it again.

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2009
Tue, 03-03-2009 - 12:10pm
You have no ego tied up in her theater either?

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