What would YOU have to do to SAH?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2005
What would YOU have to do to SAH?
2476
Fri, 02-13-2009 - 5:09pm

If you're a WOH/WAH mom, what sort of "downsizing" would you need to do in order to afford to be a SAHM? (SAHM defined here as not earning any money)

For me, I would have to put all our non-essential possessions in storage and move in with my parents.

Photobucket

pregnancy calendar








Photobucket

Photobucket




Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Wed, 03-04-2009 - 1:58am

Handing the assignment in on time is part of the assignment. Getting a lower grade down to a F or 0 is totally earned if it isn't turned in on time. Particularly for a child like Dylan (and I can't believe that he is all that unique) who are all about the process. Once the work is done, he is done with it and couldn't care less if it's turned in.

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2004
Wed, 03-04-2009 - 4:47am

It is possible to LIVE on that.


Lilypie 1st Birthday Ticker

Photobucket PhotobucketBilingual Families


Lilypie Zweiter Ticker
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Wed, 03-04-2009 - 5:12am

not here in our area of CT where the CHEAPEST of rents are upwards of $600 -- often NOT including utilities. Then there's food and the car insurance that will cost US at a minimum of $150 per month once we add him to our policy....

I don't doubt that people "could" live on that -- I just doubt that they're even barely subsisting around HERE in our area (and no, we're in a very middle-middle class area.

eileen

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Wed, 03-04-2009 - 5:29am

<< was sort of stirring over what cmleisl replied back with earlier today too. based on your teacher experience,do you have an opinion whether organization is a learned behavior or a trait a child is born with? >>

frankly, I think it's something that's fairly innate -- some kids come in and just "get it", others will never "get it" and there's a third group who don't really get it BUT are willing to work at it.

<>

However, let's put that F into perspective. Generally, homework assignments count MUCH LESS than let's say a quiz, test or project. In fact, each of my homework assignments counts as 10 points. YES, if they do NOT turn it in they get a Zero. If someone misses 5 assignments for the quarter, then they are missing 50 points out of their total grade.

<>

most kids complete and turn in their homework on most days. However, we do have about a handful of students who are STILL missing assignments on a regular basis.

at middle school, we don't have recess. If kids need to make up work or serve a "teacher detention", they come spend their entire lunch period with me (20 min. lunch, 20 min. study hall) and make up that work.

<

Again, you need to put that "F" into perspective. It's NOT an "F" on a quiz (100 points) or test (200 points), it's probably a 10 or 20 point assignment. Generally, most teachers will have some sort of plan for those kids where they can turn it in the next day for most, or even all, of the credit.

eileen

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Wed, 03-04-2009 - 5:38am

except that teachers don't drill math facts with the kids anymore. It's very different than when we went to school. They are so busy teaching process and problem-solving skills that MANY kids get to 6th GRADE NOT knowing their basic addition, subtraction, multiplication and division facts! I see it on a daily basis.

I have one of each type of kid. Ds never used any flashcards for math facts. He just seemed to absorb all of his facts easily.

Dd breezed through addition and subtraction, but hit a mental wall with multiplication (and division). She used flashcards to TEACH HERSELF her multiplication facts over ONE weekend! Then when she knew them, she was surprised to discover that she ALSO knew her division facts.

Sd, is a whole 'other thing. By 2nd grade, she STILL didn't have any concept of her most basic addition and subtraction facts. She is NOT a self-starter -- wouldn't have any idea HOW to use the flashcards to learn them. So, WE've drilled her -- just about 5 nights out of 7 on addition and subtraction. FINALLY, at the BEGINNING of 4th GRADE, she seems to have them solid (although she can't put FACT FAMILIES together which means she has memorized each individual math fact). We've started on multiplication in the same way. She goes through the facts with us. If she gets any wrong, she writes them and says them out loud while ten times each. Eventually, she will get them. Without having done this, I have NO trouble seeing her as a child who would NOT have command of her simple, basic math facts if we hadn't done the flashcard route.

eileen

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2009
Wed, 03-04-2009 - 6:30am
Not everywhere it's not and if he doesn't live in Duck Blind, Iowa or Refrigerator Box, Wyoming, and earns that kind of money, it's quite probable he also won't have the financial resources to move to Duck Blind or Refrigerator Box. At least, not the Wyoming one...

************

Kitty

************

Kitty

"If you can't annoy somebody with what you write, I think there's little point in writing."-- Kingsley Amis, British novelist, 1971 t .

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2004
Wed, 03-04-2009 - 6:36am

I think that the best methods are really child dependent.

I have one whom I am very hands-off with. She doesn't need my help. She was born a little overachiever, puts a lot of pressure on herself. During the 3rd grade school year, I had to force her to put away the study sheets/homework and go relax. She would get so tensed up that some nights she'd cry, and get so upset she'd vomit. How can a parent add to that kind of pressure? I know these young years are all about forming good study habits, but no one is ready to learn or complete tasks when they are physically ill. I had to force her to come home and relax, and approach her homework when she was good and ready. She now does most of her homework and studying after 9pm. I don't ask her about it. My dh and I are available and she comes to us once in a while. I know this is working for her because she's never missed an assignment and she's doing very well. When I speak to her teachers I get the same glowing reports consistently.

Now my other child... well, I tried this same hands-off approach with him. It didn't work, not a bit. I make him sit at the kitchen table while we cook dinner and do it so I will know it is done. I also have to check and ask him if he's turned it in. At one point, he did his homework for a month and never turned it in. I had to threaten to come into his classroom every morning and play mommy to make sure he did it, and viola! he now hands it all in on time. He has no problems doing the work and he understands the concepts, he just doesn't have a handle on the responsibility. He's tested out in math and reading 3-4 grade levels above where he is at, so we are in this catch-22 with him. If we allow him to be bumped up a level, he won't be able to handle the responsibility and if we hold him back in the 3rd grade to catch up with it, he'll likely grow increasingly bored. I don't want to do this in grades 5-6-7. A big part of school is learning this responsibility, IMO.

Avatar for 4thekids2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 03-04-2009 - 8:05am

I understand, really I do and I'm not stupid enough to think things don't ever come up. But I've kinda been through this 4 times and so far the only way they have shocked me about school is in good ways. I swear I go to conferences and say "are you sure you're talking about my kid?"

Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Wed, 03-04-2009 - 8:08am

OK, but that means the school is failing to teach the basics, and that the parents are expected to fill in this gap. That, to me, would be unacceptable.

Problem solving won't do them any good, if they have no tools with which to solve the problems. Learning things like the X-tables requires tedious repetition. I expect the school to accomplish this. That would be exactly the sort of thing I would consider a requirement, if we really want to give all kids a chance.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Wed, 03-04-2009 - 8:32am
flashcards for sight words when they were ds' age,sure but i hated flashcards for math.

 

Pages