What would YOU have to do to SAH?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2005
What would YOU have to do to SAH?
2476
Fri, 02-13-2009 - 5:09pm

If you're a WOH/WAH mom, what sort of "downsizing" would you need to do in order to afford to be a SAHM? (SAHM defined here as not earning any money)

For me, I would have to put all our non-essential possessions in storage and move in with my parents.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2008
Wed, 02-18-2009 - 3:38pm

I'm sure that a lot of

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 02-18-2009 - 3:48pm

Why?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2009
Wed, 02-18-2009 - 4:55pm

My DH would be more than willing to work two jobs to covers expences if it were needed. Luckily it was never needed. But I would not want him to work a second job, he works hard enough at his one job.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Wed, 02-18-2009 - 4:56pm

just wow. your dh worked 80 hours per week? just so you could sah??? WHEN did he find time to be with his child? WHEN did he find time to sleep?

My ex worked more hours than I did when we were raising small kids, but well within a 50 hour week.

And for the record, current dh and I talked about one of us taking a 2nd job due to some issues related to our finances (he had to take a 10% paycut in the fall). I applied too late for an after school program -- and we decided, at least temporarily, that we'd see if we can get through this rough patch without either of us working extra hours (never mind the fact that ANY extra job would be hard to come by!).

eileen

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Wed, 02-18-2009 - 4:59pm

so, is YOUR dh in Iraq? Is he a long-haul trucker? Is he a medical resident? Umm, no -- he's just working TWO jobs so that you can sah -- thereby giving up at least 40 hours per week that he could have at home with his kid.

eileen

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2009
Wed, 02-18-2009 - 5:00pm
There is a huge difference between working a lot of hours at a job because that job requires it and choosing to work a second job to avoid childcare.
Community Leader
Registered: 02-06-2006
Wed, 02-18-2009 - 5:03pm

Traveling a lot, long haul trucking and even deployments seem very different to me than a father who is consistently, throughout a kid's whole childhood, unavailable because he is working two full time jobs.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2009
Wed, 02-18-2009 - 5:12pm
I'll have to brag on my BIL who I think did a wonderful job of combining being a trucker and a father. Up until my nephew was an adult during the school year BIL only did short scheduled routes where he would be home every night. In the summer he took on some long haul jobs and took my nephew with him. He saved being a long haul trucker until after he had rasied his son.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Wed, 02-18-2009 - 5:12pm

actually, current dh did work two jobs when he was married to his ex. He's told me that it sucked - BIG TIME. His ex was such a poor sahm that his dd would have been MUCH, MUCH better served by going to dc. And, his ex spent SO much of dh's money -- that he never had a clue where all of it went (she was/is diagnosed manic/depressive).

He would go to work for 8:00 at his first job. Get off at 5:00. Have dinner (take-out) then go to work at 6:00 and leave at 10:00. During the holiday season he had to be at work until 11 pm or 11:30 pm.

BIG FAT YUCKO.

eileen

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2008
Wed, 02-18-2009 - 5:24pm

I'm really trying to understand why your dh had to work 2 jobs for 10 years to keep his infant out of dc (your statement).

You had an infant for 10 years? Or you kept having kids for 10 years so that there was always an infant? Or you got in such debt with the sah gig and the not having the 1 infant in dc that he had to work 10 years to get out of debt? None of those sound good!

I sah for almost 10 years & my dh did NOT get a 2nd job. I wouldn't have ever wanted that. We did not make a lot of money either, but we planned ahead and paid off all our credit card debt, car payments etc. We were very conservative with our money.

"YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!"--Jack Nicholsen, as Colonol Nathan Jessup in "A Few Good Men"

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