What would YOU have to do to SAH?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2005
What would YOU have to do to SAH?
2476
Fri, 02-13-2009 - 5:09pm

If you're a WOH/WAH mom, what sort of "downsizing" would you need to do in order to afford to be a SAHM? (SAHM defined here as not earning any money)

For me, I would have to put all our non-essential possessions in storage and move in with my parents.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2008
Wed, 02-18-2009 - 7:50pm

Yes, I agree---working 80 hours a week means that time with the family is sacrificed.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Wed, 02-18-2009 - 8:48pm

FWIW -- when ex left the home the only chores/extra work that I needed to pick up were mowing the lawn and taking out the trash -- and I was more than happy to turn those over to my 13 year old son:)

As for what dh would have done if I had been a sahm -- I'm fairly sure since we met online that he probably would have just bypassed my profile altogether (which he actually did the first time since I had made a note that I was separated).

My current dh is always appreciative and respectful of all that I do for our family.

eileen

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2008
Wed, 02-18-2009 - 9:41pm

I think that is the key in any marriage----appreciation and respect.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2008
Wed, 02-18-2009 - 9:44pm

Wow, holy double standard, batman. So a completely absent father as merely a breadwinner and sperm donor is inconsequential as parent, but an older infant/toddler in daycare about 40 hrs in a 168 hr week is unexceptable for a mother IYO.

I preferred to raise my children from birth to 18 with both a hands on mother and a father, extended family, and trusted care givers, and so far and with the grace of god, all's good for the last 14 years. And you may be right, my preteen and teen children don't remember much about their birth until three years at all as they were well cared for, secure, and loved.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Wed, 02-18-2009 - 11:31pm

My dh has worked 3 jobs at the same time in the past. Not a good idea for a healthy marriage, let alone no time for a relationship with the kids. But at the time we did what we had to and as soon as dh found a job that paid better, he dropped the 3rd job. But the ability to support a family on only one income is, in most cases, not feasible in this day and age. And for our family, both dh and I will work so that both of us can be involved parents in our children's lives.

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Wed, 02-18-2009 - 11:39pm

Those jobs wouldn't be ideal for my family either.

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2008
Thu, 02-19-2009 - 12:18am

Well, yes to your first paragraph, and--uh---good fer you to your second paragraph...


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2008
Thu, 02-19-2009 - 12:25am

Two generations ago, almost all women SAH with a bunch of youngsters while the man went out from dawn until dusk bustin' his hump to make a decent wage nd put bread on the table.


Back then that was considered honorable (both the man's and woman's duties) and commendable, and the norm.


Nowadays both are looked down upon with disdain.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2006
Thu, 02-19-2009 - 1:24am
Perhaps the members of this board prefer to remain married to their spouses, hence the preference that they share the wage-earning load with their beloved spouse, rather than sending him off to the salt-mines for 2 full time jobs while their kids grow up wondering who that guy in the pictures is.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2006
Thu, 02-19-2009 - 1:30am

Umm, no -- he's just working TWO jobs so that you can sah

Well, not any more he's not. *That* plan worked out so well the marriage failed.

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