whats the big deal

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
whats the big deal
Wed, 04-09-2003 - 10:10pm
HI all I came across this room while looking for potty training board. It kinda floored me because I never knew that it was sucha big deal weather or not you worked or stayed home. ( If you are wondering I am a sahm) I have read some of the posting were people tend to be hinting that sahm are sucking of the economy( maybe i missunderstood) but i think the most of sahm are people secure enough in finaces that they are able to stay home. I am not trying to fluff anyones feathers but I just dont get what the big deal is. We each make our own decisions based on our situations. I get to stay home with my kids but in turn when i see shoes i like or i want to go out to lunch with my friends i can't, but this is a decision I make, and a well informed one. When I decided to give up my job I knew my life would be way different, for example it is now a treat for me to get a couple new outfits from walmart as compaired to two years ago when I wouldn't wear anything but brand name. Also in no means am I condeming working moms so please dont take it that way. I am actually impressed with working moms because now that i have had my second child I dont know if i could make it going back to work. I just am saying I dont get what the big debate is we are all trying to take care of our kids the best way and to the best of our knowledge, for some people its staying at home and for some people its working. I do agree on one aspect with the working mothers, if you want to stay home and it would require the government paying your bills to do so i would recomend working until you are in a better finacial place to stay home.

I know I might get some pretty angry messages back but I really didn't mean to offend anyone, I just dont see how there could be a debate on the issue of trying to raise a child and which is better, every situation is diffrent so how can we tell each other which is right or wrong.

sorry if i made anyone mad

Avatar for taylormomma
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2003
Wed, 04-09-2003 - 11:09pm
What's the big deal about ANY parenting choice? Yet there is certainly a lot of disagreement and controversy about all aspects of parenting.

The question is, WHY do you stay home? Why do you feel it's best for your family? Answer those questions, and you might start to see where the debate comes in.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Wed, 04-09-2003 - 11:28pm
I stay at home because

A) daycare where I live is $3 an hour per child

B) when i did work everytime i went to pick up my child at day care( i have tried four different ones) she was poopy or her diaper was drownded

C) it allows me to finish my college degree

D) I love the feeling when my kids wake up in the morning and I have time too cook a big breakfast like my grandma used too

E) there is nothing better than when you get to see your childs first, and they dont happen when they are with someone else.ie... day care

F) Nothing and I mean nothing makes monday bad for me anymore as compaired to when i was working

And last but not least I have the knowledge and can rest easy because I know my kids are getting the best care and that they are not being shoved in front of a tv or left for an hour while a baby sitter is on the phone.

Now this does not mean working moms are bad or wrong or anything of that sort it just means I can't find good day care. Now if my mom wasn't working I wouldn't hesitate to go back to work. She would watch them for free and I know they would be well taken care of. Some working moms have the security of knowing they have the best care provider out there. and i guess that is the case that i dont get what the big deal is about, they know there kids are in good hands and they offten get to play with other kids, which my children seldom get to do because I dont know anyone with young kids. I love my children and my message wasn't about the fact of weather I cared to stay home or not it was more along the lines of we have people getting there feathers fuffed about working or staying at home, when most people due to finances dont have a choice.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 04-10-2003 - 6:22am
gotta love the assumptions about those nasty, horrible day care providers based on your inability to choose a good one.

I am a provider...kids from my house do not go home in a diaper full of anything, they do not sit in front of a tv all day, their parents DO know about their firsts because I created a journal for them...oh-my I could go on.

And to top that off....my child has NEVER been in a daycare that she came home with a full diaper, she has never been plopped in front of a tv...she has ALWAYS been well cared for.

Don't fault dc providers based on your inability to find a good one.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Thu, 04-10-2003 - 8:57am
I never said all day cares were bad i said and I quote "it just means I can't find good day care" actually my aunt does day care in flint and she does an extordinary job, i just said I wasn't able to find a good one. I know there are loving and responsilbe day care providers out there. I also said that working mothers find a good one and there children are cared for and they know that. I just wanted to clear up I was not includeing all day cares I was just saying i couldn't find a good one
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
Thu, 04-10-2003 - 9:40am
There are some areas with very few decent daycare providers. Even the ones that are "star" rated (forget all the ins and outs of that system, maybe you know, being a CCP), here are VERY dilinquent, as far as I'm concerned. I found ONE daycare (this includes home care) that I was happy with when I was working. And, I will admit, they were AWESOME!!! They had been in business for something like 64 years then, had been opened by grandma and daughter and now is owned by granddaughter and her husband. All of the CCPs had been there no less than 9 years at the time my daughter was going there. They had a FULL school program through kindergarten, the kids learned one poem every week, they had music time every day, and it was just really great. BUT, they were only from age 2 up, and the child had to be fully potty-trained.

That is where they problem came in, there were NO good daycare centers that I could find in the OKC area that were decent enough for kids not potty-trained. And I could find ONLY one that was decent for kids who were potty trained, well, that just isn't a very good telling of the daycares in our area.

Believe it or not, even though there are some good daycares out there, they are few and far between in certain areas, and even then there might be something prohibiting you from getting your children in there (age requirements, filled up, or potty-training issues).

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 04-10-2003 - 9:52am