What's the fuss about mother's day??

Avatar for cyndiluwho
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
What's the fuss about mother's day??
472
Fri, 05-09-2003 - 5:16pm
Once again, mother's day is upon us and I'm wondering why we have a day to honor mom. I don't feel like I should be honored for doing something that was done, entirely, because I wanted the experience and was arrogant enough to think I actually have what it takes to raise another human being. Rather, I feel honored to have been given the privilidge of being a mom. Becomming a mom is the single most selfish, self centered and arrogant thing any of us do in our lifetimes. Every one of us became a mom to fullfill our own selfish desire to be a mom. I just don't see where this is something to be honored by setting aside a day to honor mom.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 05-09-2003 - 5:21pm
Well, I"m not gonna look a gift horse in the mouth ... lol

While I agree that we don't *need* this day to be honored, its nice. And dh and the kids don't *need* this day to show how much they appreciate me, but its fun for all involved, so what's the harm?

We don't make a big deal of it. I get a day with no housework or cooking, and we'll go out to dinner (or dh will make me a good meal). And while I enjoy the day, I'm not the type to get miffed if we *didn't* do anything special.

Of course, my bday is just 4 days after MD this year (often its the same) so we'd be celebrating this weekend anyway.

Hollie

Avatar for biancamami
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 05-09-2003 - 5:25pm
That's a rather bleak view...just make sure you let your family members know that you don't want any gifts or any special treatment on Mother's Day since you feel so passionate about this.

Even though many mothers do conceive children out of "selfish" motives (and isn't almost ANYTHING we do in life selfish in one way or another...even acts of charity?) it doesn't mean that as children we shouldn't honor our mothers and appreciate them! How many people will say that their mother is the person they most admire? I think its human nature to want to show gratitude for those people who have loved us and nurtured us since we were born. Of course, if you had a terrible mother I could see how you would not care for the holiday.

For me, I think even if its a "fabricated" event its still a lovely holiday in which people take the time to show love and affection. Any Holiday that does that is OK in my book!

Ana
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 05-09-2003 - 5:30pm
Gee maybe because its just a nice thing to do? Like Fathers Day, Grandparents Day, and most holidays. Its just a way for kids/husbands/other moms to say *Hey, we are glad that you were SELFISH enough to become a mom* and *We appreciate you*.

If you hate it so much, dont celebrate it. Its really quite simple. Gee those of us *selfish* enough to adopt dont count either I suppose?

How negative

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2003
Fri, 05-09-2003 - 5:40pm
One may have *become* a mom for selfish reasons, but *being* a good mom requires that she is unselfish and giving-- and I think it's wonderful to celebrate that.
Avatar for cyndiluwho
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 05-09-2003 - 5:49pm
I just feel too honored to be a mom to feel I need someone else to show me honor for being one. Maybe it comes with the territory when you have hard won kids. I don't feel like I did them any favors in bringing them into this world but rather them me. It wouldn't have mattered to them if I hadn't had them at all. I feel it is they who blessed me and did me a favor by letting me be their mom. Mother's day and all the hoopla feels like a lie. I feel like I should be the one paying honor not the one being honored. I guess 16 years of wanting children makes me see motherhood for the privilidge it is.

Motherhood is something we wanted in our lives. It's not like it's a higher calling or something. It's something we chose to do (and were blessed to be able to do) to serve our own selfish motives. So now we sit back on Sunday and let the world honor us for what??? Being lucky enough to have something we wanted in our lives in the first place. It just feels weird.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2003
Fri, 05-09-2003 - 5:58pm
ITA!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2003
Fri, 05-09-2003 - 5:59pm
I agree. I couldn't believe her negativity but then given her other posts I guess I shouldn't be surprised.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 05-09-2003 - 6:01pm
I don't get too hung up about any "special" days. We usually do something for our anniversary, but there have been years that we haven't because of circumstances and I didn't see it as a major crisis. For me the fact that we continue to want to stay together is more important then a certain date out of the year.

I feel pretty much the same about Mother's Day. If the kids want to do something for me then great, but if they don't then I would not be disapointed. There is nothing about that day that makes it any more special then any other. We don't have to do something that day because it is Mother's Day, there are another 364 days of the year we can do things.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 05-09-2003 - 6:03pm
which kind of cancels out the selfish, dont you think?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 05-09-2003 - 6:09pm
Speak for yourself. I am going to sleep in--no matter how selfish it is.

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