what's your sore spot?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2007
what's your sore spot?
124
Sun, 04-06-2008 - 12:09am

So what's your sore spot?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 04-06-2008 - 12:33pm
3 languages can be a huge challenge though, for the adults more than the kids. I decided that it would be too much for me, which is why dd does not speak my native language.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2002
Sun, 04-06-2008 - 12:58pm

In our case, it required two fairly committed parents (with regard to maintaining all of the languages) and an absolutely strict division of the languages: dh (German), me (English), and school (Swedish). It also required a fair bit of faith that exposure to Swedish only through school would be enough. It has been. If anything, German is the weakest language, but both can speak and understand it well enough that they have no problems communicating with dh's family and German-speaking friends, which was the main point.

I think it is a bit easier to drop a language if one knows that one of the other languages will still allow for communication between the family and the kids. In your case, your dd can still most likely communicate with most of your family fairly easily via English. In our case, the loss of English or German would have meant the kids being completely cut off from one side of the family or the other. It gave us the extra motivation, if you know what I mean.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 04-06-2008 - 1:03pm
It was a big decision and a difficult one. I knew that dh could not be relied on to do any of it, so I had to be able to do it solo. Also, I had no Danish friends/community either in the US or here and my own command of the language is pretty shaky at this point. Now, of course, dd gives me a hard time for not having taught her. You can't win, lol.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Sun, 04-06-2008 - 1:07pm
i can only take negativity towards others so long.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2003
Sun, 04-06-2008 - 1:14pm

I had the owner of the ballet place i was taking Hanna to tell me that if I pulled her out that it would be a huge mistake and that i wasn't parenting properly by not forcing and making her stick with the Ballet. She was only 4 at the time. My goodness. The reason i pulled her is because they were forcing her to wear makeup, no panties with this skimpy outfit for the performance, and basically said all children must attend the performance. I don't think so!! My child was in tears all the time because of the competition that was going on at such a young age. I thought Ballet was suppose to be a fun thing at this young age. Not at this place. I was also told by a few other parents that they felt that forcing their children into competitive sports at a younger age was good. That it was training them to deal with the "real world". My only pet peeve for now.

Trish :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2007
Sun, 04-06-2008 - 1:22pm
That would bug me too.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2002
Sun, 04-06-2008 - 1:51pm
That absolutely makes sense. Without the commitment of both parents, multiple minority languages are very hard to maintain, and it is often better to focus on one. Dh was also pretty committed to the whole idea, and that made a lot of difference. Strangely enough, I don't have any English or American friends/community here. I rarely speak English outside the house, only Swedish or German. We have a much stronger German community, which has been a good thing for all of us.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 04-06-2008 - 1:54pm
English is easier to maintain without a community, I find, thanks to TV, radio, school etc. I think it is really cool that you have been successful with the project. I only know one other family that has done as well as you have.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2002
Sun, 04-06-2008 - 2:11pm
Yes, that's generally true. However, my kids have never watched much tv and hate the radio. English at school is, from their perspective, pathetic :-). I think in our case, the cousins (and fairly frequent visits with them) have been the saving grace. Both ds and dd are so in love with their cousins that they are enthralled with the English language. All I have to do now is let them call frequently and feed them a lot of books and my job is (mostly) done.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 04-06-2008 - 2:17pm
That will work too. Dd also gets practice by chatting via the net.

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