When the children are all grown up
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|Thu, 04-17-2003 - 10:08am|
I ask this because I have a scenario:
My sister's MIL has been a SAHP since her first child. She has 4 children. At the current time they are between 21 and 32. Now that all the children are adults and pretty much doing their own thing whether it be work or having families of their own, what does she do now? Since she decided to stay home since the first child, all her work skills she used to have are not even used anymore. She's up in age so her mobility skills (bad knee, arthritis) are not their best. She didn't complete a degree of any kind to at least be able to get a job, if she wanted to, that paid good money. And she has just found out recently that her husband of 35 years has been and probably still is being unfaithful. He works off the books and has been for almost 15 years now, so he doesn't pay taxes.
She wants to leave but is not able to support herself. She has no skills, he only gives her enough money to do whatever she needs to do, which has never been a problem before, and no degree to at least get a good job to pay enough money. She wants a divorce but knows she can't get anything because as far as the state knows, he's not employed. The house they have is in his brother's name, so she can't get that. Staying continues to stress her, but leaving would make her life miserable financially.
Right now, she has no skills, unfaithful marriage, no degree, and no hope. She chose to stay home because it would be best for the children. But what about HER? Now that children are grown and gone, what does she do now, to help herself be independent? She's been so independent on him for 32 years, she knows how to do nothing else. She's never had to be independent.
She can't go with any of her children because they either have no room, live with friends, or are away. What are some other options?
NOTE: I know there are people here who chose to get married, pregnant and stay home AFTER they were situated with their education and career FIRST, but this was not the case. She got married when she was 20 years old. Finished High School, got married at 18, worked for 2 years and started their family.