When did structure become a bad thing?
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| Fri, 07-30-2004 - 8:19am |
We used to live next door to a "no structure" family. The kids ran wild in the neighborhood, the mom never planned dinner so lord only knows if and when the kids ate. Sorry, I don't think that's a good way to live. My kids know we eat dinner at 6:30, so they have to be home.
I can see taht you wouldn't demand that an infant go to bed and wake up at precisely the same time, but is there ever a time to impose structure on a child? So lets say you are the freewheeling type and have always doen things whenever. What happens when you send your child to school where the bell rings at the same time every day?
As far as activities, I realize all kids are different, but when my kids were little, if we just did whatever, whenever, my kids woudl end up grumpy and overtired. My experience is that if say, we were at the beach and I say, oh heck, let's just stay later, the kids woudl be happy at first, but by the days end I would end up with whiny, overtired kids.
Maybe I'm just misinterpreting what I am reading, but I personally think structure is a good thing. When children are small, the structure includes naptimes, mealtimes, etc. As they get older it evolves into boundaries like "be home at 6 for dinner" or "you can't go into soemones house without telling me first". I couldn't imagine living without structure or boundaries for my kids.
Susan

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Kind of reminds me of a friend I once had who as a young child lived in terror of ever doing something so risky as riding a bicycle, because it seemed his mother always knew someone who had lost an eye or gotten dismembered or something doing whatever it was he wanted to try. Of course, that only worked up until the point where he actually saw people doing said thing who weren't horribly maimed - at the point at which he realized much of what she had said was scare tactic BS, he then proceeded to disregard EVERYTHING she said as BS, and could be found happily riding the "A" train alone at 11:30 at night.
(Not the type of approach I take with my kid.)
You: <>
Me: Exactly, I am quite old. That's why I qualified it with the words Nowadays and In MY Case - "No, I didn't go into the particular problem. Mine was congenital and a good dr should pick it up on an in utero sonogram (nowadays) or, in my case, at birth with a stethoscope."
You: <>
Me: My cardiologist, my reading on the subject.
I have 2 girls. All of our drs right now happen to be men, including my OB/GYN. I go for the best qualified. Gender hasn't been a factor for me.
Since PNJ pretends trust isn't a factor when everyone breezes off to work and leaves her infant behind with a nanny for the first time, I countered that and asked why she didn't hire a man. I'm not the one doing the hiring! So you can't call me sexist - but did you ever notice that there are few full-time nannies in the US who are men? I definitely think that's a trust issue. I could be wrong - this is not an issue in my life right now.
A person who performs routine tests over and over is less likely to make mistakes, forget to wash his hands, more likely to do it correctly and be quicker, be gentler, etc.
I'd much prefer an anesthesiologist or nurse set up the iv in my hand (I don't know the proper terms), than the surgeon who no longer sticks a needle into the vein of an alert patient.
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