When did structure become a bad thing?
Find a Conversation
| Fri, 07-30-2004 - 8:19am |
We used to live next door to a "no structure" family. The kids ran wild in the neighborhood, the mom never planned dinner so lord only knows if and when the kids ate. Sorry, I don't think that's a good way to live. My kids know we eat dinner at 6:30, so they have to be home.
I can see taht you wouldn't demand that an infant go to bed and wake up at precisely the same time, but is there ever a time to impose structure on a child? So lets say you are the freewheeling type and have always doen things whenever. What happens when you send your child to school where the bell rings at the same time every day?
As far as activities, I realize all kids are different, but when my kids were little, if we just did whatever, whenever, my kids woudl end up grumpy and overtired. My experience is that if say, we were at the beach and I say, oh heck, let's just stay later, the kids woudl be happy at first, but by the days end I would end up with whiny, overtired kids.
Maybe I'm just misinterpreting what I am reading, but I personally think structure is a good thing. When children are small, the structure includes naptimes, mealtimes, etc. As they get older it evolves into boundaries like "be home at 6 for dinner" or "you can't go into soemones house without telling me first". I couldn't imagine living without structure or boundaries for my kids.
Susan

Pages
And like I posted about my dh above, he is the perfect example of exercise not necessarily being enough when it comes to health.
dj
Dj
"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~
Well having two boys, no I don't think you can punt the issue,
PumpkinAngel
I'd actually probably start taking my girl to a OB/GYN at 15 or 16. Even if they told me they weren't sexually active yet.
>>If the ped. is not doing an exam anyway, and she and I are giving the same info, I just don't see where I'm being naive. What will the ped. say about sex to a 12-yr-old that I'm not saying?<<
The problem I have with your reasoning is this: You don't want your ped to deal with sex issues w/your girls b/c their OB/GYN will deal with it. But you won't start taking your girls to an OB/GYN until they start college (age 18). So who is helping them deal with sex issues UNTIL age 18? Just you?
Having been a teenage girl who had sex before age 18 I never once went to my mother about it. When one of my paps came back abnormal and I had to have it looked into further, THEN I told my mom. This was about 4 years after I lost my virginity and 2 years after I started taking the pill. She was surprised that I had been going to an OB/GYN on my own b/c she hadn't really thought it necessary for me to see one. This coming from a woman who waited until she was married to have sex so I guess she thought I would do this too.
>>Is the only difference that my girls may feel more comfortable telling a ped. that they've seen evidence of an STD?<<
Maybe . . . but like I've said, very often there is NO evidence of an STD for women. The only way to "catch" it is if you have tests run when you have your annual exam.
PumpkinAngel
<> I'm not sure who boys see when they outgrow pediatricians. But I just don't see too much about sex that a ped. knows that I do not and that I cannot talk to my son about. The whole post began with criticism of my wanting my ped. to not discuss sex with my girls. Unless there's a medical problem, I really don't see it as a pediatrician's role to discuss sex with my children. I'm almost certain any discussion about prevention of STDs, pregnancy, the power issues associated with teen sex (i.e., the whole oral sex and teens issue) is something my children will have to listen to from me. I just hope I don't start the discussions when my children are too young because I have some real opinions about the issue of girls and power and oral sex in the teen yrs!
Dumb question...but did you have sex education in middle or high school?
PumpkinAngel
Pages