When did structure become a bad thing?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
When did structure become a bad thing?
1698
Fri, 07-30-2004 - 8:19am
I am reading the thread about freewheeling nannies below and I hafta say, I just don't get this whole no structure thing. My kids have always thrived on structure. THey liked the predictablity of when things were going to happen. Sure, it has not been a problem to deviate, but what I am reading in some posts is that no structure at all seems to be looked on as optimal, while imposing structure to a child's life is viewed as bad parenting.

We used to live next door to a "no structure" family. The kids ran wild in the neighborhood, the mom never planned dinner so lord only knows if and when the kids ate. Sorry, I don't think that's a good way to live. My kids know we eat dinner at 6:30, so they have to be home.

I can see taht you wouldn't demand that an infant go to bed and wake up at precisely the same time, but is there ever a time to impose structure on a child? So lets say you are the freewheeling type and have always doen things whenever. What happens when you send your child to school where the bell rings at the same time every day?

As far as activities, I realize all kids are different, but when my kids were little, if we just did whatever, whenever, my kids woudl end up grumpy and overtired. My experience is that if say, we were at the beach and I say, oh heck, let's just stay later, the kids woudl be happy at first, but by the days end I would end up with whiny, overtired kids.

Maybe I'm just misinterpreting what I am reading, but I personally think structure is a good thing. When children are small, the structure includes naptimes, mealtimes, etc. As they get older it evolves into boundaries like "be home at 6 for dinner" or "you can't go into soemones house without telling me first". I couldn't imagine living without structure or boundaries for my kids.

Susan

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 08-20-2004 - 10:36pm

Who "fries" steak?


The way you LOVE LIFE is unhealthy.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 08-20-2004 - 10:39pm
I was the one who brought up weight, not you.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2003
Fri, 08-20-2004 - 11:55pm
How can you be "bored" with moderation?

I think it'd be more "boring" to always eat the same thing. Be it healthy food or crap food.

Sounds to me like you're making excuses for your eating habits.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Sat, 08-21-2004 - 12:11am
Nah. I see no reason to make any excuses. Why should I make excuses because we like to eat a certain way? Because my hubby & I have spent the entire day watching tv together? Nah, no thank you, no excuses. We got bored with only getting the good stuff in moderation. We prefer it all the time. We couldn't really stand the taste of cooking foods differently.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Sat, 08-21-2004 - 12:13am
BRAVO!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Sat, 08-21-2004 - 12:15am
You've never had fried steak? Have you ever heard of fried steak? Hard to imagine. My hubby rolls it in flour & fries it just like you would chicken & makes a cream gravy to go with it. It is very good. We just had it a few minutes ago, awesome, I tell you, awesome.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 08-21-2004 - 3:55am
You know, I have to ask, why is it you assume that a thin woman in shape, is that way *by the grace of god and nothing more*??? Do you really really think that *all* thin people have always *naturally* been that way? Do you think they are thin by default and dont have to work at it? I think that is a VERY unfair assumption. And just as bad as someone assuming an overweight person does nothing but eat and sit around.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 08-21-2004 - 4:00am
So if you made the choice to eat nothing but nutrionally sound food for a year, then did moderation for awhile, you obviously know and understand that the way you now choose to eat is unhealthy, right? Otherwise you would have never made the effort to eat differently in the first place.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2004
Sat, 08-21-2004 - 7:13am
A third time refusing to answer my questions. It's obvious now what your answer is to every single one of my questions. You won't say it, but I guess you were wrong to paint me as irrational in not using non-family babysitters until my gang is old enough to communicate with me any problems with a babysitter. It's just easier to criticize my intellect, my apparent sexual frigidity, my healthy skepticism from having lived in NY, lol, and my lawyering skills.


Edited 8/21/2004 7:47 am ET ET by luvthebabes
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2004
Sat, 08-21-2004 - 10:14am
I've heard of it. TM has a recipe for it that's pretty acceptable in terms of healthful cooking (and it tastes okay--but you should understand MY faint praise is more a matter of personal taste as I'm not an especial fan of fried steak; my roommate thought it was awesome)--I cant indulge in it these days because I'm South Beaching it, but if I have to have steak cooked that way, hers is the best I've had...and as I said, it's not the heart attack on a plate that most renditions of it tend to be.

Karen

"A pocketknife is like a melody;
sharp in some places,

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