When did structure become a bad thing?
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| Fri, 07-30-2004 - 8:19am |
We used to live next door to a "no structure" family. The kids ran wild in the neighborhood, the mom never planned dinner so lord only knows if and when the kids ate. Sorry, I don't think that's a good way to live. My kids know we eat dinner at 6:30, so they have to be home.
I can see taht you wouldn't demand that an infant go to bed and wake up at precisely the same time, but is there ever a time to impose structure on a child? So lets say you are the freewheeling type and have always doen things whenever. What happens when you send your child to school where the bell rings at the same time every day?
As far as activities, I realize all kids are different, but when my kids were little, if we just did whatever, whenever, my kids woudl end up grumpy and overtired. My experience is that if say, we were at the beach and I say, oh heck, let's just stay later, the kids woudl be happy at first, but by the days end I would end up with whiny, overtired kids.
Maybe I'm just misinterpreting what I am reading, but I personally think structure is a good thing. When children are small, the structure includes naptimes, mealtimes, etc. As they get older it evolves into boundaries like "be home at 6 for dinner" or "you can't go into soemones house without telling me first". I couldn't imagine living without structure or boundaries for my kids.
Susan

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dj
Dj
"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~
I don't see it as limiting. I've tried it, I don't like it, I'm not going to eat it.
We like to travel. Mostly in the US. We've been on a cruise in the Caribbean. We've took a few vacations to the Bahamas. We've been to Italy. I'm not big on long travel. I like to just go to the beach & relax. Sight see in that particular area. We plan to go up through New England & go to NYCity next summer.
I'd rather do that than go to Europe myself.
Paige
It is on until we leave the room to go to bed (then the bedroom one comes on) or leave the house.
It doesn't keep us from doing other things.
I've never been big on reading. I like to read bios but that is about it. I wouldn't give you two cents myself for a novel.
I've never liked to read though. Growing up. When I moved into my own place. Now.
I love to read to my dd & listen to her read to me. My dh loves to read. But I'd rather play on the computer or something, anything, other than read.
Paige
The big question for me is, why is anorexia so much more life threatening than being over weight? i watched a documentary on anorexia a few times, and was absolutely shocked to learn, the symptoms of anorexia mirror the symptoms of being overweight, yet insurance, the medical field will run to their aid, but over weight people are told, eat less and exercise more, and the mental, emotional and psychological issues are virtually ignored.
one must beg, and be half destitute along with have life threatening other symptoms, ie: diabetes, asthma, varicose veins, strain on the heart, etc, in order for insurance to pay for gastric bypass. it is a shame over weight people are ignored and looked down upon as lazy, weak and ignorant, and it *is* the attitude in america, so really and truly, i just have no sympathy for people who "play with ten pounds". blech!!
As far as anorexia and overweight. I think the medical problems are the same, and the time frames for treatment are usually the same too. Most anorexics dont get any treatment until their bodies just about give out-the drs treat the physical problems. Just as overweight people often dont get treatment until they are in distress-and again, drs treat the physical problems. Far as I know, insurance covers those physical problems, right? I agree that overweight should be considered psychological (or I guess physiological would be the proper term) just as anorexia is. And to some degree it is-hence all the self help books, places like overeaters anonymous, etc. An overweight person should have the same access to psychological help as an anorexic, and drs should recommend counseling and such. I think that anorexia is more likely to get immediate medical attention because the risks are more immediate-an untreated anorexic is probably going to be dead within a couple years. An untreated obese person is going to have a potentially shorter life span and serious health risks, but can often go along for many years without suffering severely ill health from being overweight.
What I find interesting is that I have read that something like 75 percent of women have some form of an eating disorder (and yes, overeating is right there next to anorexia when you look up eating disorders). And its a shame that we cannot be more supportive of each other, in all of our individual endeavors to lose, gain, maintain, control our weight, rather than point fingers and insist that we have it harder than that person, they have it easy, this person gets this, that person doesnt, and so on. And to be supportive of our different body types and sizes, again without making derogatory remarks to each other (even jokingly, like talking about hitting a *skinny jogger* in the mouth with a scale). I would never ever make rude comments about someones weight or size-so because I'm not overweight its okay for people to be rude and make nasty comments about it? Or to insinuate I cannot possibly understand what its like to lose a lot of weight, when they dont really KNOW what I do or dont understand.
dj
Edited 8/21/2004 6:48 pm ET ET by djknappsak
Edited 8/21/2004 7:13 pm ET ET by djknappsak
Dj
"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~
outside_the_box_mom
I think its normal for people to talk more about the positive aspects of their lives, especially on an internet board. And maybe some people embellish-I usually take them at face value though. But I dont think anyone would say their lives are perfect, would they????
dj
Dj
"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~
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