When did structure become a bad thing?
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| Fri, 07-30-2004 - 8:19am |
We used to live next door to a "no structure" family. The kids ran wild in the neighborhood, the mom never planned dinner so lord only knows if and when the kids ate. Sorry, I don't think that's a good way to live. My kids know we eat dinner at 6:30, so they have to be home.
I can see taht you wouldn't demand that an infant go to bed and wake up at precisely the same time, but is there ever a time to impose structure on a child? So lets say you are the freewheeling type and have always doen things whenever. What happens when you send your child to school where the bell rings at the same time every day?
As far as activities, I realize all kids are different, but when my kids were little, if we just did whatever, whenever, my kids woudl end up grumpy and overtired. My experience is that if say, we were at the beach and I say, oh heck, let's just stay later, the kids woudl be happy at first, but by the days end I would end up with whiny, overtired kids.
Maybe I'm just misinterpreting what I am reading, but I personally think structure is a good thing. When children are small, the structure includes naptimes, mealtimes, etc. As they get older it evolves into boundaries like "be home at 6 for dinner" or "you can't go into soemones house without telling me first". I couldn't imagine living without structure or boundaries for my kids.
Susan

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And while something obviously struck a nerve with your sister, prompting a totally unnecessary personal attack on me (when I had never even said anything about ANYones weight in the first place), I dont think that making *flip* remarks which also mocked peoples weight/size was funny just because it was against thin people. Would you think someone making jokes about overweight people was funny?
dj
Edited 8/22/2004 3:41 am ET ET by djknappsak
Dj
"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~
It also isn't that gossipy. He does a good job backing up his claims with letters Diana actually wrote to him. Apparently he is the keeper of her "history" in that she would write him dozens of letters stating how she felt about the Queen, Charles, etc. He used them to show how she was good friends with the Queen, how she really loved Charles, etc. She was a just a hurt little girl who could never understand why her husband didn't love her.
outside_the_box_mom
Karen
"A pocketknife is like a melody;sharp in some places,
outside_the_box_mom
DH and I have had some real disagreements about food. He now will cook fish, rice and veges for me. When he makes meatloaf and gravy during the winter, he will also make mashed squash for me (yum). He will make a plain baked potato for me but will make his "twiced baked." However, he refuses to eat my cooking. Says it isn't "high fat" enough. He will make gallons of potato salad and then get upset when I don't eat it. I say, "It's too fattening." He says, "It's good food."
We've come to a sort of compromise where I cook dinner during the week and he cooks on weekends. I like eating light food and tons of veges. Fridays are our "neutral" night -- I make roast chicken, he makes gravy. He then cooks on Saturday and Sunday. Last night I got fried fish. But I could just as easily get some sort of noodle concoction smothered in cream of mushroom soup. (gag)
outside_the_box_mom
I was surprised the tone of the posts began (and continued) as admonishing rather than simply edifying.
I don't get offended by an aggressive even nasty tone so long as there's meaning and sense behind the criticism. I've learned a lot from some of the insights here. But most people are sensitive to criticism which backs them into a corner. Always leave a little room for someone to get out of that corner, if you can.
It's taken me a long time to find this great ped. we have, since we moved to a different state and I didn't immediately have a great network of friends recommending drs as sort of a starting point. In thinking more about your posts and everyone's posts here, if we continue with this same awesome pediatrician, I might even request that he address STDs, unwanted pregnancy, etc., with my girls. It's not so much that I think peds. have any more expertise than another dr., it's just that our ped. is wonderful - even has a good bedside manner! I have no fears he will overreach and hand them a prescription for bcps. at age 12 or something.
I have yrs before this is an issue and much to think about, in other words, time to talk and panic with my friends going thru the same with their precious girls, LOL.
Technically, that's a smothered steak - you start of frying it, but then cook it in the gravy to tenderize it.
I think what she's describing is chicken fried steak. Nothing I would make at home, but being a good Texas gal, I do eat it on occasion. I think I've had it three times in the last four years.
He acknowledges that his lifestyle isn't healthy and he thanks me for teaching DS how to make good food choices and that I make him turn off TV and go play outside. We talk about how being overweight is hard on him. He has been incorporating exercise into his schedule and it is helping. But food changes are the hardest changes to make. He says he wishes his mother (who weighs about 300 pounds and who can barely walk now) had taught him a more healthy lifestyle. His father, BTW, was extremely obese and died of cancer when he was 58.
Maybe having ho-hos and ice-cream for dessert doesn't affect your family. But it does affect mine. I know that if I eat a majority of fatty and processed food, don't exercise much, and sit around all day, I *gain* weight. As does DS. I also don't feel very good. You can't deny that eating a lean chicken breast and a side of steamed veges is better for the body than eating yummy meatloaf with a side of mashies and gravy and ice-cream and ho-ho for dessert.
Where I live we have an amusement park. Each time I go there, I am amazed at how overweight children are. I mean, obese. Some of those kids are carrying bellies that are larger than my DH's. And these are young children. And you see these kids sucking down liter bottles of Mountain Dew or other soda.
Do you *really* think that an 8 or 9 year old boy or girl should have a belly hanging over their belt? Do you *really* think that if your doctor husband saw a child this large, he should not ask about the family lifestyle at all? Do you really think soda/TV/fatty foods/lack of exercise for children -- if it leads to obesity -- is still healthy?
outside_the_box_mom
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