When did structure become a bad thing?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
When did structure become a bad thing?
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Fri, 07-30-2004 - 8:19am
I am reading the thread about freewheeling nannies below and I hafta say, I just don't get this whole no structure thing. My kids have always thrived on structure. THey liked the predictablity of when things were going to happen. Sure, it has not been a problem to deviate, but what I am reading in some posts is that no structure at all seems to be looked on as optimal, while imposing structure to a child's life is viewed as bad parenting.

We used to live next door to a "no structure" family. The kids ran wild in the neighborhood, the mom never planned dinner so lord only knows if and when the kids ate. Sorry, I don't think that's a good way to live. My kids know we eat dinner at 6:30, so they have to be home.

I can see taht you wouldn't demand that an infant go to bed and wake up at precisely the same time, but is there ever a time to impose structure on a child? So lets say you are the freewheeling type and have always doen things whenever. What happens when you send your child to school where the bell rings at the same time every day?

As far as activities, I realize all kids are different, but when my kids were little, if we just did whatever, whenever, my kids woudl end up grumpy and overtired. My experience is that if say, we were at the beach and I say, oh heck, let's just stay later, the kids woudl be happy at first, but by the days end I would end up with whiny, overtired kids.

Maybe I'm just misinterpreting what I am reading, but I personally think structure is a good thing. When children are small, the structure includes naptimes, mealtimes, etc. As they get older it evolves into boundaries like "be home at 6 for dinner" or "you can't go into soemones house without telling me first". I couldn't imagine living without structure or boundaries for my kids.

Susan

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2004
Sun, 08-22-2004 - 10:13am
But what is disgusting to you isn't to others? Right?

I love these kinds of foods. I make them myself for my family who loves them. Our school serves these kinds of meals & they are popular with the students & visiting parents who are lunching with their children.

After all this talk I've been reading I told my dh last night when he, my dd, and I did our weekly grocery run that I just had to fix it this upcoming week. He wants it tonight!

I'm sure there are things you like that would sound & taste disgusting to others. All of matter of taste & likes that vary. Don't you think? I do.

Paige

Avatar for outside_the_box_mom
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 08-22-2004 - 10:18am
Obviously. See my post above. My DH would fall over dead if I made chicken fried steak for him. He loves it. My favorite meal is salad made of romain lettuce, steamed red potato, steamed asparagus, and grilled salmon. It is *delicious.* If I served it to my DH, he wouldn't eat it. He would think it *disgusting.* The same way I consider chicken fried steak to be disgusting. I still recoil just thinking about the "chicken fried steak" they served at school. Blech!

outside_the_box_mom

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2004
Sun, 08-22-2004 - 10:20am
I fry pb sandwiches!

My mom always did it. I thought we were the only two!

ITA with you. I think peoples dislikes of food & disgust with certain items hit the forefront.

Paige

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2004
Sun, 08-22-2004 - 10:25am
I don't think I've ever pounded my country fried steak when preparing it.

I've never found the need.

I also don't think it tastes anything remotely like meatloaf. Guess taste buds are just different ha!

Paige

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2004
Sun, 08-22-2004 - 10:25am
Yes. It is on our school menu for this week & that is what it is called.

Paige

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2004
Sun, 08-22-2004 - 10:27am
Hey, I have a subscription to it!

And to US Weekly. Soap Opera digest. Glamour. Cosmo.

Didn't know it was faux pas.

Paige

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2004
Sun, 08-22-2004 - 10:29am
Oooh, I love smothered steak as well.

I fry onions to a golden brown to go with it. Yum!

All this talk is making me hungry.

Paige

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 08-22-2004 - 10:34am
I was wondering about that too. I often see parents in the waiting room at our ped's office while their older kids are with the doctor. Sometimes he comes out and talks to the parents before they leave, and I've also seen them call the parents back. But I wouldn't think it's at all unusual for an older child to see the doctor alone. The only exception to that I am aware of is with vaccinations. There is a sign in our ped's office that a parent or guardian must sign for any vaccinations received by a minor.
Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 08-22-2004 - 10:36am
I grew up on the upper East Side. Yes, I've heard of frying steak, as in "chicken fried steak" -- but I've never actually seen anyone do it, or seen it offered at a resteraunt. Yick. Between the frying and the gravy, I'm just grossed out. Hey, if you guys like it have at it. It just sounds as about appealing to me as eating a deep fried twinkie -- something I *have* seen at the fair!
Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 08-22-2004 - 10:37am
Nope, I didnt go to public school. They didnt have it on the menu at my schools. Oh, and I was a vegetarian until I got pregnant. LOL. So i wouldnt have eaten it regardless.


MM

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