When did structure become a bad thing?
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| Fri, 07-30-2004 - 8:19am |
We used to live next door to a "no structure" family. The kids ran wild in the neighborhood, the mom never planned dinner so lord only knows if and when the kids ate. Sorry, I don't think that's a good way to live. My kids know we eat dinner at 6:30, so they have to be home.
I can see taht you wouldn't demand that an infant go to bed and wake up at precisely the same time, but is there ever a time to impose structure on a child? So lets say you are the freewheeling type and have always doen things whenever. What happens when you send your child to school where the bell rings at the same time every day?
As far as activities, I realize all kids are different, but when my kids were little, if we just did whatever, whenever, my kids woudl end up grumpy and overtired. My experience is that if say, we were at the beach and I say, oh heck, let's just stay later, the kids woudl be happy at first, but by the days end I would end up with whiny, overtired kids.
Maybe I'm just misinterpreting what I am reading, but I personally think structure is a good thing. When children are small, the structure includes naptimes, mealtimes, etc. As they get older it evolves into boundaries like "be home at 6 for dinner" or "you can't go into soemones house without telling me first". I couldn't imagine living without structure or boundaries for my kids.
Susan

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I also try very hard not to use food as a reward. And when he's sad, I don't say, "Here, have a cookie."
I have my own problems with food and emotions. I stress eat. Usually at 4:00 every day. I still haven't found a way to stop doing that. If I could find a way to stop, I would lose my 15 pounds.
outside_the_box_mom
dj
Dj
"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~
Edited 8/22/2004 2:14 pm ET ET by 6721ard
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"I guess you were wrong to paint me as irrational in not using non-family babysitters until my gang is old enough to communicate with me any problems with a babysitter."
I think you're paranoid to do that, not irrational.
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You could have asked if those posters did not think that such a high-fat diet might not have adverse health consequences down the road, but instead you (all) chose to castigate the food itself as garbage. I make some scratch cakes that are quite high in fat. To have someone call them high-fat would not hurt my feelings at all, I know how much butter and how many eggs go into them. I also know how much hard work goes into creating them, and to hear them described as "garbage" b/c of the butter and egg content would indeed hurt my feelings.
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But then, I'm not sure I get the blanket condemnation of, say, cream soups either. Made at home with fresh vegetables and a low-fat milk bechamel sauce, what is really so unhealthy about it? I often make a cream of broccoli soup in winter that is basically a pat of butter (tablespoon or two), equal amount of flour, 1% milk and 4 large heads of broccoli. Since it usually feeds 2 adults for a couple of days, I don't think the bit of butter is overdoing things. Sauces and cream soups can be done in a reasonably healthy fashion.
Laura
I dont disagree that its harder to keep the weight off when you've been heavy since childhood. Statistically, overweight children have something like an 85 percent chance of being overweight adults.
BUT....that assumption that an adult who is fit is somehow *magically* that way or *naturally* that way, is erroneous. I know PLENTY of people who were thin when they were younger, yet really have to work hard to maintain it. I think it is unfair to discount their hard work, and imply they somehow have it easy because they didnt have to start watching their weight until adulthood. Heck, in some ways its harder-they are often the ones who NEVER learn proper nutrition and eating habits, and end up starting from scratch.
And I did understand your last post. I just dont think it was funny. If I'd made a comment like that about a heavy person, I'd have been promptly ripped to shreds. But its okay to make those kind of remarks about a thin person......
dj
Dj
"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~
I personally love potato leek soup and corn chowder. I also just had an awesome cold cream of cucumber soup. However, I don't like cream of mushroom soup out of a can.
I just got Julia Child's and Jacques Pepin's cookbook and can hardly wait to make onion soup -- the kind covered with cheese and bread. Yum.
outside_the_box_mom
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