When did structure become a bad thing?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
When did structure become a bad thing?
1698
Fri, 07-30-2004 - 8:19am
I am reading the thread about freewheeling nannies below and I hafta say, I just don't get this whole no structure thing. My kids have always thrived on structure. THey liked the predictablity of when things were going to happen. Sure, it has not been a problem to deviate, but what I am reading in some posts is that no structure at all seems to be looked on as optimal, while imposing structure to a child's life is viewed as bad parenting.

We used to live next door to a "no structure" family. The kids ran wild in the neighborhood, the mom never planned dinner so lord only knows if and when the kids ate. Sorry, I don't think that's a good way to live. My kids know we eat dinner at 6:30, so they have to be home.

I can see taht you wouldn't demand that an infant go to bed and wake up at precisely the same time, but is there ever a time to impose structure on a child? So lets say you are the freewheeling type and have always doen things whenever. What happens when you send your child to school where the bell rings at the same time every day?

As far as activities, I realize all kids are different, but when my kids were little, if we just did whatever, whenever, my kids woudl end up grumpy and overtired. My experience is that if say, we were at the beach and I say, oh heck, let's just stay later, the kids woudl be happy at first, but by the days end I would end up with whiny, overtired kids.

Maybe I'm just misinterpreting what I am reading, but I personally think structure is a good thing. When children are small, the structure includes naptimes, mealtimes, etc. As they get older it evolves into boundaries like "be home at 6 for dinner" or "you can't go into soemones house without telling me first". I couldn't imagine living without structure or boundaries for my kids.

Susan

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2002
Sun, 08-22-2004 - 3:26pm
Hmmm, I hadn't thought of it that way....I was just really surprised at all of the complaints about gravy and cream soup and was racking my brains trying to figure out how these are automatically unhealthy. I have to say that I've given up worrying too much about fat content in and of itself. There is pretty well no such thing as low-fat cheeses, yoghurt etc. in Europe. Trying to find even low-fat milk in Switzerland was nigh on impossible when we lived there. I finally just aimed for simple, fresh, not over-processed ingredients (we don't cook from mixes or preprepared meats and vegetables and rarely use canned anything, tomatoes for spaghetti sauce is an exception to that) and reasonable amounts of butter, meat and cheese. In Switzerland, meat was so expensive we ended up eating it once or twice a week tops. Cheeses and legumes became a bigger part of our diet. In Sweden, we have ended up eating more fish than we have before and meat meals almost only happen on the weekends.

Still we haven't banished butter, milk, yoghurt or creme fraiche from our diets.....I still have to laugh about the margarine disaster: all those years of people poo pooing butter and selling margarine as the "healthy" alternative and it turns out that butter is actually healthier. Certainly not healthy in large quantities, but healthier than the man-made alternative. The Swiss were far and away the healthiest (and thinnest) people I ever saw and they generally ate large quantities of butter and cheese....otoh, frying foods was not very common and they walked everywhere.

Laura

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Sun, 08-22-2004 - 3:28pm
I just can't imagine taking a piece of filet mignon, rolling into flour, frying it and then covering it with gravy.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Sun, 08-22-2004 - 3:37pm

I agree I love romance and mystery novels reading about 2-3 week.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Sun, 08-22-2004 - 3:45pm

I love the frozen biscuits in the bags!

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Sun, 08-22-2004 - 3:52pm

I agree....I love to experiment with different restaurants and recipes.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 08-22-2004 - 3:59pm
The only time I responded in ANY kind of inflammatory manner was in response to the bait coconut was throwing out there. If people post inflammatory things, they *will* get flamed. Sure, I should have avoided responding at all, but sometimes that bait is hard to resist. And they certainly gave back as much as they got, so I wouldnt paint some picture of them being wronged innocents here.

And these posters WERE asked repeatedly if they didnt feel that eating that way wasnt going to have adverse effects. They either ignored the posts, or insisted that the food they were eating was NOT unhealthy. Or they said that since they hadnt had health problems *yet* they didnt see how their eating habits could be unhealthy. Yes, I am going to call people on such nonsense, and insist that they back up their statements with more than anecdotal info. They didnt have anything to support their platform, period.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Sun, 08-22-2004 - 3:59pm

Why do you turn the tv on as soon as you get home?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Sun, 08-22-2004 - 4:09pm
aka --- mystery meat

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Sun, 08-22-2004 - 4:15pm
Fried peanut butter sandwiches?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Sun, 08-22-2004 - 4:25pm

Have you ever tried it?

PumpkinAngel

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