When did structure become a bad thing?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
When did structure become a bad thing?
1698
Fri, 07-30-2004 - 8:19am
I am reading the thread about freewheeling nannies below and I hafta say, I just don't get this whole no structure thing. My kids have always thrived on structure. THey liked the predictablity of when things were going to happen. Sure, it has not been a problem to deviate, but what I am reading in some posts is that no structure at all seems to be looked on as optimal, while imposing structure to a child's life is viewed as bad parenting.

We used to live next door to a "no structure" family. The kids ran wild in the neighborhood, the mom never planned dinner so lord only knows if and when the kids ate. Sorry, I don't think that's a good way to live. My kids know we eat dinner at 6:30, so they have to be home.

I can see taht you wouldn't demand that an infant go to bed and wake up at precisely the same time, but is there ever a time to impose structure on a child? So lets say you are the freewheeling type and have always doen things whenever. What happens when you send your child to school where the bell rings at the same time every day?

As far as activities, I realize all kids are different, but when my kids were little, if we just did whatever, whenever, my kids woudl end up grumpy and overtired. My experience is that if say, we were at the beach and I say, oh heck, let's just stay later, the kids woudl be happy at first, but by the days end I would end up with whiny, overtired kids.

Maybe I'm just misinterpreting what I am reading, but I personally think structure is a good thing. When children are small, the structure includes naptimes, mealtimes, etc. As they get older it evolves into boundaries like "be home at 6 for dinner" or "you can't go into soemones house without telling me first". I couldn't imagine living without structure or boundaries for my kids.

Susan

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Sun, 08-22-2004 - 10:11pm

I guess we are opposites...it doesn't occur to us to turn it on unless for a specific purpose, otherwise it's off.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Sun, 08-22-2004 - 10:15pm

One of the few things that was very hard to give up when I was pregnant as well.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2003
Sun, 08-22-2004 - 10:19pm
>>Tv is great mental stimulation here.<<

How so? Could you give some examples of how what you watch stimulates you mentally?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 08-22-2004 - 10:27pm
We used to do fluffernutters too, although that's just too sicky sweet for me anymore. Personally, I prefer peanut butter on an apple. Dd likes the apple sliced "bread style" with the peanut butter spread between the apple slices.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 08-22-2004 - 10:32pm
My 5 yo is a VERY light (and picky) eater. It is difficult at times not to try to force her to eat more, but I really want her to listen to her body, and she seems to have that elusive "off switch" that the rest of us can't find ; ) Our approach is similar to yours. She doesn't have to eat everything on her plate, but she doesn't get dessert if she doesn't eat a good dinner (i.e., at least some veggies, a protein, etc.)
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Sun, 08-22-2004 - 10:32pm

<>


Exactly how is staring at a box while other move mental stimulation?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 08-22-2004 - 10:34pm
Since my dh has been on the South Beach diet, he has insisted that that afternoon craving is really a post-lunch blood sugar crash. He eats a handfull of nuts or a piece of cheese, and that seems to tide him over until dinner.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Sun, 08-22-2004 - 10:38pm

Actually sushi, fresh sushi doesn't really have a smell that I have noticed....it's lucky you didn't try sushi on a cruise ship...not the place.


Just like fresh fish doesn't smell....if it smells like fish then it's not fresh.


<>


I agree...cruise ship food while nice to look at was not much better tasting on most occasions than frozen pizza...at least on the cruise we were on....especially the buffet's.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2004
Sun, 08-22-2004 - 11:16pm
Game shows. Jeopardy. Discovery, History, Bios, Documentaries.

Stimulating to us.

Paige

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2004
Sun, 08-22-2004 - 11:17pm
See post above.

Other programs are for pure entertainment.

North Shore is akin to reading my monthly Cosmo.

Paige

Pages