When did structure become a bad thing?
Find a Conversation
| Fri, 07-30-2004 - 8:19am |
We used to live next door to a "no structure" family. The kids ran wild in the neighborhood, the mom never planned dinner so lord only knows if and when the kids ate. Sorry, I don't think that's a good way to live. My kids know we eat dinner at 6:30, so they have to be home.
I can see taht you wouldn't demand that an infant go to bed and wake up at precisely the same time, but is there ever a time to impose structure on a child? So lets say you are the freewheeling type and have always doen things whenever. What happens when you send your child to school where the bell rings at the same time every day?
As far as activities, I realize all kids are different, but when my kids were little, if we just did whatever, whenever, my kids woudl end up grumpy and overtired. My experience is that if say, we were at the beach and I say, oh heck, let's just stay later, the kids woudl be happy at first, but by the days end I would end up with whiny, overtired kids.
Maybe I'm just misinterpreting what I am reading, but I personally think structure is a good thing. When children are small, the structure includes naptimes, mealtimes, etc. As they get older it evolves into boundaries like "be home at 6 for dinner" or "you can't go into soemones house without telling me first". I couldn't imagine living without structure or boundaries for my kids.
Susan

Pages
It is not extreme for a mother to want either herself, her husband or close family to be the only ones with pre-schoolers. Many families work that way, even on this board. In this way, DH and I guarantee our 3 will have the infancies/toddlerhoods some people only dream about. (Not to mention DH and I will soon be going to the Rainbow Room alone for the 2nd time this yr. It's just a matter of advance planning with NY g-parents. I am not missing out, if that was your implication.)
What is extreme is thinking that preschoolers left home all day, everyday, with a nanny are only watching 30 mins. of tv. That's not trust. That's denial.
My trust issues are not just with the 0.5% of providers who physically abuse, although I absolutely admit that's a part of it. It's equally that what I know of the difficulties of staying home and what I know of adults - especially those away from their bosses all day, everyday - are not necessarily inclined to carry out my wishes such as "No more than 30 mins of tv."
I said I do find it "stimulating" when I sit down to watch it.
It is not always stimulating every minute it is on. I don't think it has to be or needs to be. Whether I'm sitting there watching it or it is just "on".
Paige
Sleeping with it on is habit.
Tv is great mental stimulation here. "
Does infer that it is always stimlating, not that it is only stimuating when you sit and watch certain shows. To me it just seems like such a waste of resources to have a TV on when no one is even watching it.
OK, your post made me think of two sayings from my dh's side of the family:
"If it's not worth frying, it's not worth eating" and
"You got yourself a 'possum and a biscuit, you got yourself a meal."
"Tv is great mental stimulation here. "
Nope, too easy.
<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />
Pages