When did structure become a bad thing?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
When did structure become a bad thing?
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Fri, 07-30-2004 - 8:19am
I am reading the thread about freewheeling nannies below and I hafta say, I just don't get this whole no structure thing. My kids have always thrived on structure. THey liked the predictablity of when things were going to happen. Sure, it has not been a problem to deviate, but what I am reading in some posts is that no structure at all seems to be looked on as optimal, while imposing structure to a child's life is viewed as bad parenting.

We used to live next door to a "no structure" family. The kids ran wild in the neighborhood, the mom never planned dinner so lord only knows if and when the kids ate. Sorry, I don't think that's a good way to live. My kids know we eat dinner at 6:30, so they have to be home.

I can see taht you wouldn't demand that an infant go to bed and wake up at precisely the same time, but is there ever a time to impose structure on a child? So lets say you are the freewheeling type and have always doen things whenever. What happens when you send your child to school where the bell rings at the same time every day?

As far as activities, I realize all kids are different, but when my kids were little, if we just did whatever, whenever, my kids woudl end up grumpy and overtired. My experience is that if say, we were at the beach and I say, oh heck, let's just stay later, the kids woudl be happy at first, but by the days end I would end up with whiny, overtired kids.

Maybe I'm just misinterpreting what I am reading, but I personally think structure is a good thing. When children are small, the structure includes naptimes, mealtimes, etc. As they get older it evolves into boundaries like "be home at 6 for dinner" or "you can't go into soemones house without telling me first". I couldn't imagine living without structure or boundaries for my kids.

Susan

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Mon, 08-23-2004 - 1:31pm
We lived off the land quite a bit in S. Louisiana, it's poor there, but I never met anyone who didn't draw the line at actually eating Nutria. We trapped it all right, but not to eat; Nutrias are pests, but the pelts are valuable. The state pays a $4 bounty on them b/c they are destroying the wetlands; you turn in the tail for the bounty, and sell the pelts for furs, but the meat is normally sold to alligator farms for feed at about $.15/pd. The FDA doesn't allow the meat to be sold for human consumption, though I suppose that if you were desperate enough to eat one that you caught yourself, you could certainly do it. People I know who have tried it on a dare say it tastes like a more-than-usually-gamey rabbit.

Now, fried alligator is good, though it can be chewy if you don't marinate it sufficiently first. I usually make Sauce Piquant if I get hold of alligator meat.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-23-2004 - 1:34pm
The damage from the smoking you do today can kill you 20 years from now, no matter whether you stop and change your ways. You won't know there's a problem until it's too late. If you stop eating in an unhealthy way *at any point* before you develop medical conditions, or for most things, even after you develop medical conditions, the effects are undone when you stop. A cheeseburger today does not sneak up on you twenty years down the line. If it's not causing her problems, it's not causing her problems.




Edited 8/23/2004 1:39 pm ET ET by cocoapop
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2004
Mon, 08-23-2004 - 1:36pm

Fried gator tastes like Kalamari.

Mondo

Avatar for myshkamouse
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-23-2004 - 1:40pm
Oh I so hear you! When I was pregnant with the twins I had to skip all my favorite raw fish / seafood too! But, I developed quite a taste for tempura, chicken and steak teriyaki, and sushi made with cooked crab. Oh, I also love love LOVED the steamed dumplings and cucumber sunomuno. YUM. Okay, now I'm starving...


MM

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Mon, 08-23-2004 - 1:46pm
Nah, Cajuns of all ages still eat the weird stuff, whan they're in the mood. It depends on where you're from; there are still a LOT of little tiny places where trapping is still the only way to make a living if you don't want to work offshore or deal with a truly godawful commute. One of my nieces is married to a guy who grew up in a trapping family; his youngest brother is only 10, and that kid is making college money tanning snake hides. His Dad used to work offshore, but he got hurt; so now he's back to trapping.

Gator meat is worth a fair amount on the open market; it's a novelty food, and restaurants will pay through the nose for fresh dressed alligator.

Avatar for laurenmom2boys
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Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 08-23-2004 - 1:54pm
Ahhh, sounds like you've never had decent fried calamari. We can get it around here in all the good Italian restaurants (and our area is known for one great Italian restaurant after another) and the fried calamari melts in your mouth. Not rubbery in the least! You'll need to visit and I'll prove it to you. ;-)
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Mon, 08-23-2004 - 1:59pm

Ahhh, but calamari and other "oddities" done right are NOT rubbery.


My fave little place in Va Beach had great calamari ... very lightly breaded and only pan fried in minimal oil. Was wonderful.


I do hate to see good food get a bad rep because the most common ways of cooking are not the most tasty. Some foods require a great cook to do right ... and too rarely get done by a mediocre cook and give the food a bad rap.



Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 08-23-2004 - 2:19pm
exactly!~Lisa
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Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 08-23-2004 - 2:21pm
ITA again. I literally work my butt off to remain thin. I don't get to eat whatever I want either. It isn't easy working out 5 days a week and watching what I eat all the time.~Lisa
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-23-2004 - 2:33pm
"That's not trust. That's denial." Just because you aren't capable of managing to get by without TV as a crutch, doesn't mean no one else is. I see no reason whatsoever to suspect that Felicia's kids watch any more TV than that. If they did, it would be pretty apparent from the things they would have picked up from it.

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