When did structure become a bad thing?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
When did structure become a bad thing?
1698
Fri, 07-30-2004 - 8:19am
I am reading the thread about freewheeling nannies below and I hafta say, I just don't get this whole no structure thing. My kids have always thrived on structure. THey liked the predictablity of when things were going to happen. Sure, it has not been a problem to deviate, but what I am reading in some posts is that no structure at all seems to be looked on as optimal, while imposing structure to a child's life is viewed as bad parenting.

We used to live next door to a "no structure" family. The kids ran wild in the neighborhood, the mom never planned dinner so lord only knows if and when the kids ate. Sorry, I don't think that's a good way to live. My kids know we eat dinner at 6:30, so they have to be home.

I can see taht you wouldn't demand that an infant go to bed and wake up at precisely the same time, but is there ever a time to impose structure on a child? So lets say you are the freewheeling type and have always doen things whenever. What happens when you send your child to school where the bell rings at the same time every day?

As far as activities, I realize all kids are different, but when my kids were little, if we just did whatever, whenever, my kids woudl end up grumpy and overtired. My experience is that if say, we were at the beach and I say, oh heck, let's just stay later, the kids woudl be happy at first, but by the days end I would end up with whiny, overtired kids.

Maybe I'm just misinterpreting what I am reading, but I personally think structure is a good thing. When children are small, the structure includes naptimes, mealtimes, etc. As they get older it evolves into boundaries like "be home at 6 for dinner" or "you can't go into soemones house without telling me first". I couldn't imagine living without structure or boundaries for my kids.

Susan

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 08-23-2004 - 2:40pm
nt
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2004
Mon, 08-23-2004 - 3:07pm
Love it!

We order it up when we eat out at a place that serves it or while on vacation.

Paige

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2004
Mon, 08-23-2004 - 3:08pm
Oooh, yes!

Calamari is terrific.

Paige

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2004
Mon, 08-23-2004 - 3:11pm
Um, NO! You combined two different posts to twist it!

Two different statements. Meaning two different things.

I was asked why we always have the tv on or how we came about it always being on. I explained. Habit when I walk in the door. It is just natural.

I don't like to read but I do find programming to be mental stimulation (gave examples like discovery & jeopardy). That was what that was in reply of.

Sorry you thought I meant total stimulation all the time the tv is on.

It is on right now. No stimulation.

Tonight when I watch that discovery program, then it will be stimulating.

Paige

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2004
Mon, 08-23-2004 - 3:12pm
So good! I want one NOW!

Paige
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2004
Mon, 08-23-2004 - 3:13pm
What?

Discovery programs, history channel programs, even jeopardy if you play along like we do can be very stimulating.

Programs like North Shore are not. They have only great entertainment value.

We enjoy watching all kinds of programming. The stimulating kind and the entertainment value only kind.

Paige

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2004
Mon, 08-23-2004 - 3:15pm
Each to their own. We are a very happy family & happy with what we do.

Paige

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2004
Mon, 08-23-2004 - 3:25pm
Oh, I can't speak to the gator, but I'm here to tell you that Calamari done right is NOT rubbery. Fried? Why yes, but delicious! Especially with a marinara dipping sauce. I don't indulge in it very often (again the whole fried thing), but it's not so bad if we split an order among a group of us.

Karen

"A pocketknife is like a melody;
sharp in some places,
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2004
Mon, 08-23-2004 - 3:31pm

OK OK I believe you!! LOL.


Still, if I'm going to indulge in something fried, it would be French Fries.

Mondo

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Mon, 08-23-2004 - 3:43pm

I have no clue what North Shore is and I haven't picked up a Cosmo since I was in my early 20's (and a sorta cosmo girl)so I really can't comment on the mental stimulation of either.....but how exactly are the show mental stimulation?

PumpkinAngel

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