When did structure become a bad thing?
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| Fri, 07-30-2004 - 8:19am |
We used to live next door to a "no structure" family. The kids ran wild in the neighborhood, the mom never planned dinner so lord only knows if and when the kids ate. Sorry, I don't think that's a good way to live. My kids know we eat dinner at 6:30, so they have to be home.
I can see taht you wouldn't demand that an infant go to bed and wake up at precisely the same time, but is there ever a time to impose structure on a child? So lets say you are the freewheeling type and have always doen things whenever. What happens when you send your child to school where the bell rings at the same time every day?
As far as activities, I realize all kids are different, but when my kids were little, if we just did whatever, whenever, my kids woudl end up grumpy and overtired. My experience is that if say, we were at the beach and I say, oh heck, let's just stay later, the kids woudl be happy at first, but by the days end I would end up with whiny, overtired kids.
Maybe I'm just misinterpreting what I am reading, but I personally think structure is a good thing. When children are small, the structure includes naptimes, mealtimes, etc. As they get older it evolves into boundaries like "be home at 6 for dinner" or "you can't go into soemones house without telling me first". I couldn't imagine living without structure or boundaries for my kids.
Susan

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MM
<<>> What woman??? its hypothetical. you know, make believe. just kidding. not real?? NOBODY DOES!
<< Like I've been trying to say, that kind of attitude is just as bad as someone who LOOKS at a heavy person and just KNOWS they must sit around and eat all day.>>> You're right, so why are you telling me?? to quote a board regular, YOU DONT EVEN KNOW ME!!
<<>> and so is this!
<<>> well, thank you dr dj. so your smart remarks toward my sister are null and void? NOT! are you the pot or the kettle.
<<>>> Um, thats about the fifth time you've said that. you should really keep track of your posts, or is this just a blatant brag, because frankly im sure im not the only one tired of hearing about how wonderful you are.
<<>> and you act like you have a clue as to what my point has been all along.
like you said, give it up, you're not going to win this one. You were wrong from the get-go and are trying to turn it around and get the negative attention off yourself. sorry, its not going to work. you're wrong. and your attitude stinks as well!!
","so tell me, why shouldnt thin women in good shape (BY THE GRACE OF GOD, AND NOTHING MORE)be fair game. fat people have been FOREVER!". im not talking about *ALL* THIN PEOPLE, i am only talking about the people who happen to be thin by the grace of God, and yes they do exist!! "
Why should anyone be fair game based totally on their weight? If it is not right to make comments about large people based only on their weight then it is not right to make comments about small people based totally on their weight. Ever heard two wrongs do not make a right?
She mentioned more than once about being thin because you have implied that it is only by the grace of God that thin women are that way and that is simply not true! Why are you turning this into a vanity issue?
~Lisa
i do have dr phil's book and i love it. i need to go back to the beginning, though and start again. that first chapter is awesome.
i will have to check out the other book you mentioned as well.
i lost 45 pounds last year, and have kept 35 off, allowing me to get rid of my largest size clothes which is the good news. now i have this psychological hurdle, that i just cant seem to conquer, about going down to the next size(which btw, is not all that small, but would be a huge accomplishment for me).
I havent heard of the Change One approach. would it be on the rd webpage, you think? i'll check it out.
thanks for your kind words. i know im not the only one with a weight problem, but i have gotten pretty big, and when people hear how much ive gotten up to, they are surprised. i do carry my weight well, but im 47 and i cant depend on that forever, as my knees are starting to whine....LOL.
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