When did structure become a bad thing?
Find a Conversation
| Fri, 07-30-2004 - 8:19am |
We used to live next door to a "no structure" family. The kids ran wild in the neighborhood, the mom never planned dinner so lord only knows if and when the kids ate. Sorry, I don't think that's a good way to live. My kids know we eat dinner at 6:30, so they have to be home.
I can see taht you wouldn't demand that an infant go to bed and wake up at precisely the same time, but is there ever a time to impose structure on a child? So lets say you are the freewheeling type and have always doen things whenever. What happens when you send your child to school where the bell rings at the same time every day?
As far as activities, I realize all kids are different, but when my kids were little, if we just did whatever, whenever, my kids woudl end up grumpy and overtired. My experience is that if say, we were at the beach and I say, oh heck, let's just stay later, the kids woudl be happy at first, but by the days end I would end up with whiny, overtired kids.
Maybe I'm just misinterpreting what I am reading, but I personally think structure is a good thing. When children are small, the structure includes naptimes, mealtimes, etc. As they get older it evolves into boundaries like "be home at 6 for dinner" or "you can't go into soemones house without telling me first". I couldn't imagine living without structure or boundaries for my kids.
Susan

Pages
And whats up with these uncles who think they can make snide remarks??? my dad has never, ever in my entire 47 years made one comment about my weight, ever!! when i was pg with ds1, my uncle, "hey, getting a little broad in the beam there". and another one, "have you gained weight?". CH!T, I NEVER STOPPED!!LOL. what a dumb-butt!!
you know what else that might have contributed?? when i was in hs, the "ideal" weight was 125 for 5'3". today it is higher, as it has been studied, the weight for the heights in the past were nearly impossible to maintain and i guess because people are bigger in general today, ie: bone structure, etc.
the bottom line though is, i have always had to count calories for as long as i can remember, and could out eat anyone in my family(except my SKINNY dad!!LOL).
It is only now, as I have aged:), and we have grown even closer through sharing motherhood, that I realize that she always envied me for being so fun and popular and what she saw as smarter (which btw couldn't be farther from the truth as she graduated with honors from law school).
There came a point in my life where I just decided that my genes had determined that I was always going to be "solid" to use your very apt term. But life has changed for me and I managed with the help of Atkins to actually become "thin" for the first time in my life. It feels good, but you know what? I still feel like a moose around my sis:)
dj
Dj
"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~
The only thing I ever said about myself is that I struggled with weight issues all my life. Sorry if that offends you (eye roll). How is that bragging??????????????
But thats okay, keep telling yourself that its okay to be rude and insulting to me, despite the FACT that I never insulted YOU or your sister for that matter.
dj
Dj
"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~
DJ said NOT ONE SINGLE INSULTING THING to your sister, but your sister took offense to the comments, and DJ, being a compassionate, thoughtful human, apologized for the fact that the thread had offended your sister...even though NOT ONE SINGLE WORD HAD BEEN SPOKEN TO OR ABOUT YOUR SISTER.
sheesh, I can't believe that dj has taken all this abuse from you and you couldn't even be bothered to read the posts you claim to have been so damned offended by.
Karen
"A pocketknife is like a melody;sharp in some places,
Pages