When did structure become a bad thing?
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| Fri, 07-30-2004 - 8:19am |
We used to live next door to a "no structure" family. The kids ran wild in the neighborhood, the mom never planned dinner so lord only knows if and when the kids ate. Sorry, I don't think that's a good way to live. My kids know we eat dinner at 6:30, so they have to be home.
I can see taht you wouldn't demand that an infant go to bed and wake up at precisely the same time, but is there ever a time to impose structure on a child? So lets say you are the freewheeling type and have always doen things whenever. What happens when you send your child to school where the bell rings at the same time every day?
As far as activities, I realize all kids are different, but when my kids were little, if we just did whatever, whenever, my kids woudl end up grumpy and overtired. My experience is that if say, we were at the beach and I say, oh heck, let's just stay later, the kids woudl be happy at first, but by the days end I would end up with whiny, overtired kids.
Maybe I'm just misinterpreting what I am reading, but I personally think structure is a good thing. When children are small, the structure includes naptimes, mealtimes, etc. As they get older it evolves into boundaries like "be home at 6 for dinner" or "you can't go into soemones house without telling me first". I couldn't imagine living without structure or boundaries for my kids.
Susan

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Your own quote shows she's not in denial at all. She admitted she can't "guarantee" every detail of what's going on. (That does not mean that the nanny is virtually certain to be letting them sit in front of the tube as you implied she was - for one thing, that's a particularly easy one to detect). She's comfortable with that level of certainty based on her experience with this nanny which has taken place over a period of years. You're in for some serious disappointment if you think that your opinion of what is likely occurring in Felicia's home is more convincing to anyone here than Felicia's actual experience of this woman's care of her children.
"The only way to guarantee that my children have the most enviable of infancies/toddlerhoods is by my staying with them." Well that's certainly debatable, especially since you don't think it's even remotely possible, based on your own experience, that someone would actually be able to manage children without a television.
Edited 8/24/2004 8:34 am ET ET by cocoapop
Karen
"A pocketknife is like a melody;sharp in some places,
Karen
"A pocketknife is like a melody;sharp in some places,
LTB - can you guarantee that your DH is not screwing his secretary?
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You know, I've tried to stay quiet with all this crap being posted on both sides, but I'm sick and tired of the revisionist history that's been going around. Both sides are wrong. So why not re-read Kathyatps' post about remembering there are feelings behind the screen names.
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Edited to fix a typo.
Edited 8/24/2004 8:48 am ET ET by laurenmom2boys
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